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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect time off to attend this funeral?

43 replies

CatthiefKeith · 25/04/2015 13:48

A long term customer at work, and part time colleague, who also happened to be a neighbour has just died after a short illness. Sad

He was a bit of a grumpy old git at times, but we shared a love of animals, and sense of humour, so I would often have lunch with him. I am the only member of staff that has been to see him in hospital and have also been cutting his grass, watering his plants etc.

He strongly disliked our office manager, and one of the directors, but thought a lot of the big boss.

He only passed away yesterday, and already it is being discussed by wanker boss who will be representing the company as his funeral. I have pointed out that I would like to attend as a friend anyway, but would be happy to represent the company at the same time, and he has just informed me that I won't be able to go as someone will have to man the office, which presumambly means he, big boss and office manager will all be attending!

AIBU to think that actually, no I won't fucking stay away from the funeral, just so you can give it the big I am, look how fucking upset I am when I know full bloody well he wouldn't have wanted you there anyway? Angry

OP posts:
RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 25/04/2015 16:20

As they were a part time colleague, it wouldn't be unreasonable to shut the office for a couple of hours so everyone could go (I've worked somewhere that did this).

But then, when my mum died, my brothers boss (national company, investors in people) asked him when he requested leave how close they were (arsehole) so nothing surprises me anymore Hmm

Hopefully 'deluded arrogant arsehole wanker boss' will have to stay and man the office Grin

Original poster
CatthiefKeith · 25/04/2015 16:21

Possibly diddl. I am hoping he will be far more reasonable than I am being than wanker boss.

I think him dying has upset me a bit more than I has realised, it's not like me to get this stressed out and angry, honest!

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 25/04/2015 16:27

So sorry, Cat that this is happening to you, but I do love your boss's answer, that's a classic.

kickassangel · 25/04/2015 16:28

So, if I'm reading this right, shit boss can't actually be left alone, so you have to be there as you're better at the job than he is?

I suggest that you declare yourself overcome by grief, go home and leave him stranded until someone with a brain comes along to do the basic jobs he is incompetent at.

If you think you've burnt your bridges anyway, why not contact big boss, saying that you fully intend to go to the funeral of a long term friend, even if it costs you your job. Also point out that shitty boss should be able to run the place alone, but can't because he doesn't know the basics like opening the safe.

If I were big boss I would want one person to be leaving, and I would keep the person capable of being left in charge by themselves.

diddl · 25/04/2015 16:31

Hope that you get something sorted out & sorry about your friend.

I agree that it's worth asking the "big boss".

Do you think that the other guy will take things further?

Is it worth telling the big boss what happened & apologising?

diddl · 25/04/2015 16:34

OP, do you actually have work to do?

I mean you don#t just go in to unlock & lock things for the other guy??

What if you were taken ill?

Is it a thing that he should be able to do & hasn't bothered to find out how to?

Original poster
CatthiefKeith · 25/04/2015 16:44

Haha! No I do other stuff. Admin/Reception etc. Wanker Boss is sales and refuses point blank to use a computer. It's like stepping back in time 30 years here sometimes.

Wanker boss has just muttered a gruff 'didn't realise you knew him that well, is that why you're upset then?' Hmm

OP posts:
Pantah630 · 25/04/2015 16:55

Crikey I work for a very small company and when one of our customers, ex customers or ex workmates die we just shut up shop for a couple of hours and ride to the funeral. We put a note on the door, nobody minds and it restores our faith in our flaky boss.

Let's hope your big boss is of the same opinion of wanker boss as you Grin

flabbyducks · 25/04/2015 16:55

Hmm , I think you may win this one cat Grin

Jacana · 25/04/2015 16:55

So offer to show him how to do the safe,etc,tell him you'll write it out even (caps only) because, come what may, you will be attending your friend,neighbour and colleague,s funeral whenever it is...

Wanker.

Jacana · 25/04/2015 16:57

Just read your last...agreeing withducks

diddl · 25/04/2015 17:16

You aren't the only one from the company that can man the office though?

I mean if you go, someone else can do it?

Well when you ask the big boss, is it worth then offering to show your boss how to lock up?

paxtecum · 27/04/2015 10:56

Catthief: Have you still got a job?

Jacana · 27/04/2015 11:16

I was wondering that tooGrin

I think an offer to be the co's rep. At the funeral would be a good thing for the company too, as you're a colleague, friend, neighbour and hospital visitor I really can't think of anyone betterSmile

Original poster
CatthiefKeith · 02/05/2015 17:05

I still have a job! Smile

Wanker boss has been off all week, apparently he has something fairly serious wrong with him.

Funeral is yet to be confirmed, but nice boss has promised I can go, and he will get someone else to watch reception. Smile

I did have to promise not to call wanker boss an arsehole anymore, but at least I wasn't fired!

OP posts:
londonrach · 02/05/2015 17:15

Love his comeback to you calling him a wanker. Grin. Maybe he has a more of a sence of humour than you think even if he cant use a key to lock the door. Glad you get to go to funeral. Really sorry about your loss. Flowers xxx

Coyoacan · 02/05/2015 17:28

Great news, Catthief

AyeAmarok · 02/05/2015 19:13

Sounds like big boss knows that wanker boss is an arsehole Grin

Sorry about your friend OP.

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