To think this is a sign from a deceased loved one?

[MrsTedCrilly]

Hello everyone. This will probably sound like I'm a fruitcake but please humour me! I lost my dad to lung cancer 6 weeks ago, which still feels so strange to say. I'm only 30 and was very close to him, he was a great dad. I don't believe in an afterlife and feel like when we die then that's it, we are flesh and blood and we just end.. I'm okay with these thoughts but I keep getting little signs of him and feel like I'm going a bit mad as I can't find a logical explanation for them!

The main thing is.. I have put together all his photographs in a folder on my phone so they are easy to access, and I was looking through them yesterday and noticed on many of them that his mouth/teeth/lips have turned blue (I know, I know...) these are all from the last few years. They were definitely not like that before, they have all been uploaded to facebook previously and those ones are fine. It's only on his pictures too.. I'm on some of these and my teeth/lips are normal. It's quite vivid and strange.. The photos aren't corrupted or anything, they have just been on my iphone. I was googling it and couldn't find anything to explain it, but did come across the fact that blue lips can be a sign of lung cancer. So now I'm thinking he's trying to tell me he had it for years (he was only ill with it for 3 months before dying).

Another thing is that he was looking after my cat while we lived abroad. She hadn't eaten proper cat food (so wet food and biscuits) for a year before he passed, she would only eat treats. It was a constant struggle between them as he desperately wanted her to have proper meals as she's so small, but she just wouldn't. And then on the night of his funeral she started hoovering down the other cats bowl and hasn't stopped since! It was as if he'd had a word with her... Or she sensed something was wrong with him long before he got ill and went off her food, and after he died the worry was gone.

So am I being unreasonable to think this is anything more than it is? I'm totally prepared to be told that, like I say I don't really believe.. But I'd be interested to know if any of you have had similar 'signs' too? Make me feel less crazy!

Thanks in advance

Sorry for your loss Ted

Our minds do indeed seem to look for things which will comfort us, in the immediate period of grief after a bereavement. And that is absolutely fine, normal, if it gives you comfort enjoy it, I say. People who understand will not rubbish your ideas, I tend to keep mine to myself as logically I know they are probably not possible, that doesn't make them any less comforting to me personally.

Be gentle on yourself. My Dad died two years ago, it would have been his birthday tomorrow, I'm seeing calling cards everywhere - today for example I have gone outside and there is a sticky patch on the outdoor storage lid where someone's put a coffee cup, but its in the shape of an anchor. Dad was at sea pretty much all his working life . The summer a few months after he died, I have never seen so many butterflies in my garden. Small inconsequential things, which have meaning to me and bring me comfort.

I too had goosebumps reading this thread!

I wish I could have more dreams, I've only had one about Dad in the two years since and it was beautiful.

My gran appeared in a dream in the week between her death and the funeral. She was hugging me around my shoulders from behind, and it felt so, so real, it got me through the next few days.

I strongly believe our loved ones, or more to the point their energy, is around us.

My grandfather (my mums dad) was like a dad to me, we practically lived with him and my nana, my mum was their youngest.

When he died i was distraught, its been almost 7 years now and the dreams i have about him are still so vivid and real.

I actually posted about this on MN a couple of years ago but will repeat again (hope you don't mind)

I had this really weird dream one night where i was driving and my granda was in the car with me, for some reason i kept losing control of the car but i wasn't scared because he was with me. My car was a red Peugeot 206

Next day my mum came around and started telling me about the weird dream she'd had that night, she dreamt she was driving and suddenly her breaks failed, she looked into the passenger seat and my grandad was sat there telling her not to panic. She had this dream the same night i had mine. The car she had at the time was a silver Peugeot 206.

As she was telling me this and i freaked out telling her id had pretty much the same dream there was a massive crash upstairs in my bathroom, went upstairs and the basket on my windowsill where i keep razors and scissors had flew off the windowsill onto the floor. There was no windows open, it really freaked me out.

A few weeks later my mums car went for its MOT, it failed, her breaks where knackered.

Now i don't care what people say, as far as I'm concerned that was a warning from my granda. Perhaps we both had the dream as we drove the same cars (just different colours) but that was a message for us to be careful when driving.

Also, i have 2 little baskets on my windowsill, one has toothbrushes, toothpase etc in, but the one that fell was the one with scissors and razors. Again, its almost like he heard us discussing our dreams and again wanted to warn us of danger.

So (sorry for hijack btw) i do believe that we can get signs from the other side, and like me i hope it can bring you some comfort to know they are watching over us

That was really long, sorry!

No that was amazing DonVito!! Probably was a sign - people who rubbish these things are just not sensitive enough or tuned in to different experiences I think.
Something else happened to me once, which was more amusing really (although his death wasn't, obviously).
A close male friend, who was very outspoken, loved courting controversy, and lived life to the absolute fullest extent he could, died in an accident a few years ago. (I think a few people could have predicted that actually!)
His funeral was a very sombre, sad affair, (good weather I remember), but as he was very popular there was also a big Memorial service a while later, near his home town.
During the service a HUGE thunderstorm started overhead the chapel, and whilst stories of his life were being related by friends and loved ones there were simply enormous claps of thunder interrupting the proceedings. There were a lot of nervous giggles going on, my sister and I were exchanging glances and I found it difficult to keep a straight face. My (deceased) friend would have loved it!

MrsTed Please believe whatever you want to, because this is all part of the grieving process. My Dad died 11 years ago and it took me a long time to get over it. There's a beautiful poem on the Underground about why we dream of loved ones when they pass on and it's true - both my Dad and my Aunt appeared to me in dreams where they were both happy and healthy and it helps to remind us that there was more to them than illness and death.

Even now, 11 years later, I can hear my Dad's voice in my ear as I'm dealing with bloody awful plumbers. All I can hear is "inferior workmanship" which is was Dad would have said.

My DS is 8 and comes out with the exact silly voices that Dad used to put on when he was being silly.

So, in quiet times, talk to your Dad. When there's a family celebration, raise a private toast to him. In times of stress, ask "What would Dad do?" Often enough, he'll give you the answer xxx

xxxx

I believe in an afterlife.

I remember waking up one night and feeling very strongly that my grandmother was in the room with me. I only realised, the following morning, that it was the anniversary of her death.

A couple of years later I got an image of her, again on her anniversary, sitting on the side of my bed and looking desperately sorry for me. My father, her eldest son, was taken into hospital a few days later and died shortly afterwards.

My father also had a couple of incidents where she spoke to him about important things.
Neither of us is/was dramatic, visionary, 'I have a sense something bad is going to happen' people. Quite the opposite in fact.

I'm sorry for your loss and am glad you're getting comfort from sensing that your father is still somewhere, watching over you.