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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban the wearing of shoes in our house?

118 replies

EagleRay · 25/04/2015 00:36

I've just spent the last 3 nights up until the early hours repainting the living room floor (it's white and because it's a basement room and lacking in light, I painted it white a few years ago - this was when I was single, idealistic and didn't have a DP and DD!). It hadn't been painted for a few years and looked really grubby plus had suffered a few knocks and scrapes.

It looks really good now and much cleaner than it was, but it opens out onto the garden and so won't be long now before dirt starts being traipsed back in along with DP's bikes as apparently the lounge is a really good place to take them apart

Just been thinking about how nice it would be if we went shoeless in the house - think the rest of the house would benefit too as it's mostly wood floors. Has anyone else started leaving shoes off and noticed a difference?

I had to drink a fair bit of wine to get all that painting done - perhaps I will go off the idea by tomorrow when I've sobered up Smile

OP posts:
NoMilkNoSugar · 25/04/2015 06:41

We have a no shoe in the house rule, I don't worry about guests, but most people usually take them off themselves. If not my ever so tactful DC will say in loud voices "Mommy, X hasn't taken their shoes off, in the house" and shame people into action. Train your kids, they come in useful sometimes Grin

MythicalKings · 25/04/2015 06:42

High, you've just made me come over all faint.

MiL long dead, sadly, but there was no way I'd ask her to take her shoes off. A very "proper" lady who would feel very uncomfortable at that. Or my grandparents who always dressed formally when visiting, come to think about it.

A host should make guests feel welcome.

Ilovenannyplum · 25/04/2015 06:43

We have no shoes in the house, baby learning to crawl + people traipsing in all sorts of pavement germs = bad
I don't think it's rude to ask guests to remove shoes, your house, your rules.

I also automatically take my shoes off whenever I go into anyone's house, so does my sister, my mum trained us from a young age!

MrsCampbellBlack · 25/04/2015 06:49

Your house your rules is possibly my most hated expression on mn. Whatever happened to the concept of being a good host and making people welcome in your home?

I think asking people to remove shoes is rude. I'd rather choose flooring that is practical and easy to clean. Because I do actually have a clean house despite wearing shoes inside.

Generally I think in the country/culture shoes off is a bit of a class thing.

NorksAreMessy · 25/04/2015 06:57

Am I the first to suggest 'a basket of artisanal slippers' at the door for guests?

Highabove · 25/04/2015 07:00

I do it in other people's houses. Most people that come to ours start to take their shoes off when they come in, and currently we say it's fine keep them on. I'll just stick to guests that don't make a fuss!

Downstairs is laminate so I'm not so bothered about that, but once the stairs are new carpet, it'll be 'would you mind taking your shoes off on my new carpet, you know what it's like with children and we want them to do it so are trying to set an example'.

Highabove · 25/04/2015 07:01

Yes well done Norks!

Highabove · 25/04/2015 07:03

Don't think I could wear slippers worn my someone else though, so would have to be pinched from hotel rooms and thrown after use.

MrsCampbellBlack · 25/04/2015 07:04

I just couldn't wear someone else's slippers - I am a bit funny about feet. Perhaps that is why I prefer shoes on to seeing someone's unpainted toe nails and cracked heels Wink

I do encourage children to take shoes off purely because I don't trust that they look where they walk and don't wipe their feet properly.

OP - I painted my upstairs floorboards white - let's just say I'm getting carpet shortly as they looked tatty very quickly.

SouthWestmom · 25/04/2015 07:08

Shoes off to go upstairs in my house where we have carpet and bedding and I don't want little dirty trainers on the beds.
I hate taking my shoes off it makes me feel vulnerable and somehow submissive. Don't mind at mils or my mums but that's about it.

Mehitabel6 · 25/04/2015 07:10

I don't mind taking off my shoes but being offered slippers is gross!
It only seems to be a MN obsession, when I ask in RL everyone insists I keep them on. I certainly want them to keep them on in my house.

Mehitabel6 · 25/04/2015 07:11

I also hate the 'my house, my rules' - so rude and unfriendly.

MythicalKings · 25/04/2015 07:22

I don't actually know of any shoes off houses among our friends. I can't remember ever being asked to take my shoes off in anyone's house.

Babymamamama · 25/04/2015 07:22

I know plenty of people with shoe free homes it's so much more hygienic if you've got a little one learning to crawl. I don't see the big deal. I always ask when I visit a new persons home. Most are quite pleased I've checked. Others will have shoes downstairs (no carpets)and may be shoe free upstairs. You can normally tell by whether there's a little collection of shoes by the front door.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 25/04/2015 07:31

I don't mind taking my shoes off in others houses. I normally remove shoes at the door.

No rules in out house as it is old and drafty with wooden floors and I don't want my guests feeling cold.

Just wondering what people do for parties at people's houses. It would be bizarre to ask all your guests to remove their shoes at the door. like the episode of SATC where someone takes Carries shoes

MsAspreyDiamonds · 25/04/2015 07:34

Shoeless house here as is everybody else in our circle of family & friends so not a problem to enforce. We have wooden floors all over the house except for the landing & hallway.

ApocalypseThen · 25/04/2015 07:34

My cousin married a Frenchman and they don't wear shoes indoors. If there's one thing I hate it's the pile of shoes they leave when they come in. But it's what they prefer and I'd never care to make a guest unwelcome.

So messy, though.

We wear shoes indoors. We have wooden floors only, they clean easily, I have no phobia of shoe dirt.

wowfudge · 25/04/2015 07:46

I think YABU for having a white painted floor in this country, especially with kids. You'd probably be far more relaxed if it was something different. Helpful.

Ilovenannyplum · 25/04/2015 07:47

I think you can still make people feel welcome in your home even if they don't have shoes on.... Confused

Original poster
EagleRay · 25/04/2015 07:52

WhenSheWas I did go to a party once with a shoes off policy and there were literally 100 shoes piled up in the hallway Shock It was a different culture and no one seemed to think it was anything other than normal.

Nice new white floor has brought a new problem - makes the skirting and walls look really tatty as they've not been painted for a long time. Think that's the next 20 or so evenings occupied thenHmm

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 25/04/2015 07:56

I wouldn't dream of asking guests to take their shoes off and would be horrified if my DCs tried to shame them into it.

TwiceAsNiceAsIceAndaSlice · 25/04/2015 07:56

I think the idea of having a party/family gathering at your house and all the guests standing around with drinks and plates of food with bare feet utterly, utterly bizarre.

And what happens if it's a bbq sort of thing with folk wandering in and out of the house?

Original poster
EagleRay · 25/04/2015 08:00

wowfudge floor was painted white long before I had partner and kids and I'm guilty of being a little too relaxed about it as it had got in quite a state!

I think because we have a higher than average amount of guests who would take their shoes off in their own homes, I'm just going to leave a rack in the hallway so that they can remove them if they like.

And will enforce shoes off with DP as he's has a tendency to walk through all sorts of ick.

Am recalling now the time he spilt honey (lots of it) on the coir stair carpet. Do we need another thread about the folly of 'natural flooring'? Grin

OP posts:
OurGlass · 25/04/2015 08:15

You've painted your floor white?

justwondering72 · 25/04/2015 08:18

As a pp says, here in France shoes off indoors is absolutely the norm.... Given the state of the pavements I heartily agree and always take my shoes off at home, and at others homes. PIL currently visiting: they are old-fashioned and get dressed including shoes on before breakfast, so I wouldn't push them to go shoeless. My kids do it automatically, it's the norm here.