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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To really not want to go on a speed awareness course tomorrow?

58 replies

fairyfuckwings · 24/04/2015 22:34

I got a letter through saying I'd been caught doing 34 in a 30 area. It was one of the cameras on my regular route to work so whilst I was surprised as I'm normally a careful driver I thought "it's a fair cop" and opted to take the course rather than take the points.

However, it really bugged me as the date was 28th December and I didn't remember going into work over the Christmas period. Plus, as I go that way every day I know where all the cameras are - which doesn't really matter as generally it's unusual to get over 10 miles per hour due to traffic in that particular spit. So AFTER admitting it was me and booking the course I checked my diary - and lo and behold it was the day we went to the panto and my husband was driving!

So whilst my husband is sunning himself in bloody Portugal on a golf weekend I've got to go on a sodding speed awareness course for something I didn't even bloody do. I'm guessing it's too late in the day to change anything? Has anyone been on one of these courses? How bad are they?

OP posts:
freddiethegreat · 24/04/2015 23:18

I did one a few weeks ago. Just before it started they emphasized that you can't do it for someone else & if you were doing it for someone else you had one last chance to leave before it became a legal problem. Or just speak to them when you get there.

Or leave it. Yes, I know it's illegal. But bear in mind Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce wouldn't have had a problem if she'd realised that grassing on him could (& did) take her down too. If you do it & accept you can never mention it to anyone (probably best not to update Mumsnet either!) then yes, it would be illegal & therefore wrong, but the only way anyone would know would be if you chose to tell them.

Model5 · 24/04/2015 23:19

Telling them on the course will open a whole can or worms. The tutors would be duty bound to report it and by then you'll have committed the crime.

IMO, if you're going to do anything you need to take legal advice.

I've no idea what I'd do TBH.

fairyfuckwings · 24/04/2015 23:21

lougle they're just the course providers though aren't they? They're not the police or anything? I know what I'm doing is illegal but I think the point it became illegal was when I admitted it - the course is irrelevant really. I may as well do the course as it's paid for and too late in the day to unravel. I think I'd I did want to "square the decks" it's probably best for it to be after the course.

The thing is my job very much depends on me being squeaky clean. I don't actually have a problem with the morality of what's happened as I know I acted in good faith. If this happened to a friend I'd probably tell them to forget about it. But if I got found out about this I'd be kicked out of my professional body. And whilst I don't see how I'd be found out, I am, by nature VERY risk averse.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 24/04/2015 23:24

I'd be kicked out of my professional body and sacked from work too.

I'm trying to remember what actually happened about confirming you weren't taking it for someone else.

LurkingHusband · 24/04/2015 23:28

I was the same as you, and am happy to have been proved wrong.

They are very informative, and my belief is a very good way to prepare yourself for a gradual crackdown on bad driving, now technology is everywhere.

Very pleased I went.

fairyfuckwings · 24/04/2015 23:28

Oh fuck!

Cross posted and didn't see the last 2 posts.

No time for legal advice and can't just think "sod it I'll have a few beers and find the answer I the bottom of that bottle! " as obviously I'll be driving to the arse end of nowhere tomorrow (local town had no spaces so had to go to a town nowhere near here where I have before driven to).

Oh bollocks. Wish I'd prioritised this. Not the first time I've uttered that sentence.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 24/04/2015 23:30

I remember now - when you get the letter you confirm you were driving.
Then I think you confirm it again when you accept the course.
You then have to book the course.
I appreciate you've had a dreadful time lately but surely at some point your husband would have realised he was driving and come clean about it?

fairyfuckwings · 24/04/2015 23:52

No he didn't. He still doesn't think/ won't admit he was driving even now.

When I said that I checked my diary - the panto wasn't physically booked in i just looked at the date and remembered that it was the day we went to the panto and he drove. He's adamant that we went before Christmas as we usually do, but this year, with everything happening (grandma was ill since November and work crazy busy) we were late booking so had to go between Xmas and New year. And I know we went on that Sunday.

Obviously, when he gets back he can check his emails for the booking confirmation and I will be proved right.

I know this is soooo late in the day. It's just with it being the camera it was (that I pass 10 times a week ) it was just logical for us both to just assume it was me.

He does drive a lot faster than me though. He drives a van and does a lot of miles per year and I find him the typical "van driver". whilst he's a better driver than me in terms in manoeuvring and on the motorway - I find him to be quite aggressive in the way he barges in and I think he drives too fast. I don't need to go on the course to know the dangers of driving too fast - my Dad was in accident investigation for the police. I remember many times as a child my Dad being late home from work due to having to attend a fatal accident. He absolutely drummed it into me - don't ride a motorbike (I think that was the number one fatality), don't drink drive, don't speed, observe the conditions on the road,and strap your baby in a car seat. That's probably why I'm such a nervous driver!

OP posts:
fairyfuckwings · 24/04/2015 23:57

In fairness to husband - only discussed it with him this week. I told him I'd got the summons etc but didn't tell hI'm the date.

Plus I was in the passenger seat and didn't notice the camera flash either. We were rushing that day -hence speeding!

OP posts:
ChristianGreyIsAJackass · 24/04/2015 23:59

I went on one recently, they do a bit at the start where (similar to a marriage ceremony) if you know of any reason you shouldn't be here or are taking this on behalf of someone else, pleAse leave now.
As pp said it is an offence to take it knowing it wasn't you. They will be fine about it.

ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 00:01

Christian I think I remember that bit.

fairyfuckwings · 25/04/2015 00:05

lurkinghusband I assumed it would be loads of "this is result of your speeding" type horror videos. Is that not the case? My course is 4 hours long. Which sounds ages. Was it interesting? And more importantly were there "fag break " opportunities?

OP posts:
fairyfuckwings · 25/04/2015 00:19

I've had a bit of a think. I think what I'll do is arrive early and try and speak to someone before it gets to the class starting and them formally saying "it's an offence to taking it for Someone else etc".

I will tell them exactly what I've said here. That it's my regular route to work so I assumed it was me driving and admitted the crime. Recently, I've realised I'm not 100% sure I was driving - in fact I really don't think I was - I think it was my husband. He equally doesn't think it was him - he thinks I was driving. I'm happy to sit the course (on the off chance I was driving). And I'll ask what they recommend. Neither of us are deliberately trying to avoid it. Bizarrely he's got no points either. And 3 points made very little difference to my insurance premiums when I checked. I should have just taken the dann points! If I had it would have all been forgotten and I would have never even checked my diary - it was only because I was so hacked off about this course that I did!

OP posts:
fairyfuckwings · 25/04/2015 00:27

It's times like this I really wish my Dad was still here! He would have known exactly what to do. How dare he die prematurely Sad

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 00:33

Sounds like a good idea to me. Good luck.

SavoyCabbage · 25/04/2015 00:41

That sounds like a good idea. You can't really do any more than that at this stage.

lougle · 25/04/2015 06:53

Well done, that's the right thing to do.

GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman · 25/04/2015 07:04

This sounds good, well done and enjoy the course, biscuits etc..

Mumof4worried · 25/04/2015 07:04

I've done the course three times, it is quite good and has made me a better driver. It could be shorter though.

TheHappyCamper · 25/04/2015 07:06

I don't know what you should do - your idea of saying you aren't 100% sure either way is probably for the best. I suspect most people wouldn't say anything once it was booked.

I had to go on one 2 years ago and was mortified and furious in equal measures! In actual fact it was fine. Very long winded and fairly boring in parts, but it did have a few interesting bits. Nothing horrific that upset me. I don't speed any more. I put it down to the fact that the course cost £93 and I didn't enjoy spending my day off sat in a classroom, rather than the course itself.

Good Luck whatever you decide to do.

SoupDragon · 25/04/2015 07:28

I've done the course three times, it is quite good and has made me a better driver. It could be shorter though.

Three times??! Clearly it hasn't made you a better driver and, in your case, could probably do with being longer.

OP, I hope you sort this out!

Penfold007 · 25/04/2015 07:41

OP you haven't actually confirmed the email proving you went to the panto that day so there is still a possibility you were driving. Go on the course and say nothing. When dh gets home check the email and then you and dh sort this issue out together.

Lonecatwithkitten · 25/04/2015 07:54

Fairy when I went the course not so long ago they advised us that they are duty bound to advise of any failure to comply with terms which would result in court summons as it had gone beyond fine and points due to time limits.
Honestly I rarely speed and was caught in a zero tolerance area doing 30.1 in a 30, yup there are zero tolerances out there now.
My course focused on hazard awareness and how to reduce your risk from the other twats out there.
I would go say nothing and do the course.

NerrSnerr · 25/04/2015 08:06

I'd call the police non emergency line before you go, just because the outcome will be the same as telling the people on the course and it'll save you a journey.

AlternativeTentacles · 25/04/2015 08:13

The people that did the course I went on were police driver trainers and run by an arm of the police. Also we had to show licences to prove it was us on the course.

I think that if you book the course you are automatically saying it was you. The time for telling them who was driving has passed.

I got 3 points for doing 57 on a motorway. You know - those roads where the speed limit is 70. I was slowing down because the boards above showed the limit to be 50 and I hadn't slowed down quite enough as I passed under the first one.