People saying negative things about my DD being tall... AIBU to feel so upset?

[climbingquickly]

My beautiful DD is 15 and 5ft11. She's naturally shy and very self-conscious about her height. I try to boost her confidence but have so far failed. She towers over all her friends and boys her age aren't interested as they haven't caught up yet.

She's got a lovely figure but she stoops and hunches shoulders. She gets teased at school and says the boys call her 'lanky giant'.

Thing that's so upsetting is other adult's comments! Relatives who haven't seen her in a while always remark on her height straight away, things like 'haven't you grown tall!' 'You must be 6ft!' 'what's it like up there in the clouds?' 'you don't want to grow any more'. Everyone asks her 'how tall are you now?' and i want to snap back 'what weight are you? Put on a few more pounds have you?' They are so rude and thoughtless!
DD blushes and shrinks into herself but they still don't get it. Recently an acquaintance of mine stopped to chat in street when DD was with me, I introduced her, woman said to DD 'gosh aren't you tall, is your dad tall?' DD replied her dad is 6ft2, woman said 'Oh so it's his fault then!' FAULT?!
With the exception of one or two people, no-one has anything nice to say about DD's height yet its the first thing they comment on. My other DD is 5ft 5 and gets asked about school, hobbies, or complimented on her hair.
Why do people see tall women as somehow disadvantaged?! I'd love to be tall and willowy like DD (I'm 5ft5). How do I help her accept her height and make the most of it?

Older people seem worse than other age-groups, like they think its appropriate to make negative remarks about a teenage girl's height! Last week my MIL said to DD 'don't worry there'll be plenty of tall men at university' as though DD has no chance of romance until then!

I was 6ft 3 when I was 15. It was so so so so so tough. But it gets so much better. She will have men falling over her when she's older. It's hard but it does get better. Doesn't stop me worrying about my DD though. She's only 2.5 and we're already getting comments! My mam hated the comments about me too, it's tough to have people point out something you know your child is sensitive about!

I'm rather short, so I can't say I've had much experience with this, but I don't know why people think it's ok to comment. I used to work with a beautifully tall girl and if I was with a customer and she walked past they would ALWAYS say something. If it wouldn't lose me my job I would have said something to them, I thought it was very rude.

PS I once went out with a very, VERY tall chap (like, over 6'6") who said that when people said "What's the weather like up there?" he LONGED to spit on them and then say "Oh! It's raining!"

I'm 5'10 so slightly shorter. I love being tall, well in truth I rarely think about it. Tbh and don't take this the wrong way but I get the must negativity on height from mums of tall dds so I think you are possibly bu. Being tall is normal and healthy, not an affliction.

It's interesting because there are constant messages also about short women 'needing heels' I mean wtaf is wrong with being 5 foot either?

I am 5'11" and have never found my height a problem- it is often an advantage (festivals/gigs, sports, reaching things on high shelves...) My sister is a similar height and my mum was always very proud of how tall we were when we were growing up! People would comment, but in a nice way, never negatively. Being tall has always been a positive thing for us.

My DH is 6'4" so I think there is a good chance we will have very tall children too! Can't wait!

I 'grew' into my height, 5'10 in your teens when you're surrounded by girls of 5'2 and boys of 5'6 is shit quite frankly. And the people who like to greet you with'gosh aren't you tall?' are fecking irritating. There's nothing quite like sticking out like a sore thumb when you're already a self conscious teenager, and even my mother whilst shopping; 'these are size 12 you know?, women's size 12!' Yes I know. I'm tall. Sigh.

However... I got served in bars really early... (You may not want to share that lol) when I left school and went to work with adults I felt better, concert views are better, people do not talk down to me.
With age definitely came confidence.

I see the pattern repeating again though as I have tall children and people seem to need to tell me (no shit...) however as my children belong to tall parents they a) expect to be tall and b) are actually very pleased about it - my eldest is only 6 I hope she still feels like this at 16.

Yanbu I was always v tall in primary school and everyone commented all the time and it made me really self conscious about my hight. Weird thing now is that I'm only 5 foot 7 and haven't bin significantly talker than others for a long time yet still feel self conscious about my hight because of all the comments in the past!

Loads of young tall role models (well role models for some!)
Jourdan Dunn
Taylor Swift
Kendall Jenner
All the Victoria's Secret models
Cara delevigne is 5ft 8/9
Jameela Jamil

Sorry I'm 5ft 10.5 and know it's tough.
It does get easier though.
I don't bother with heels as I've realised I'm more confident and walk taller in flats : )

Tall women are statistically more successful so tell her remind her of that when she feels down

You get so many more negatives about being short. Think of all the pluses to being tall- your RDA of calories is hugely bigger so it's hard to be fat, you never have to wear high heels and spend nights out with bleeding feet, never asking strangers to get things off shelves, people don't think it's acceptable to pick you up like a toddler etc, music festivals are probably a lot better than you can see more than the person in fronts armpit etc.

She will love her height soon.

It's such a pity she can't see that in a few years she will feel good in herself and that her height will be a fabulous height to be - you just want her to enjoy it while she is her now.

Can she try speech and drama classes - brilliant for pulling you out of yourself and getting some social confidence.

I'm 5'10 and whatever people say I know I'd much rather be tall than short. I didn't think that when I was younger though.... Fuck 'em

my older sister was 6 ft at 14 and hated being tall. She hunched and slouched and tried to hide away. She's now a beautiful, confident 42 year old who stands up tall and loves her height, but it took awhile to get there. She wishes she could tell her teenage self to "stand up straight, hold your head up, AND LOOK DOWN ON THE HATERS "
Just keep telling her you think she's beautiful.
I stopped at 5.8, I bloody wish I had kep growing!

YANBU, I also love your comeback about weight. I am 5ft 6" which is "average" however my OH is 6ft 7",Peope comment on what we look like together and we now have a DD (only 11 months) and a DS on the way. I'm guessing DD will be around 5ft 11 in her teenage years and reading some of these comments have also prepared me for what may come when she is older and I'll definitely be taking some of the advice on board. My OH gets comments all the time (from strangers) about his height and he's used to it now but it still annoys me if I'm with him. Some people are just rude and very tactless. I hope your DD embraces her height soon and walks proud instead of feeling she needs to stoop. Plus she is excellent modelling height!

I'm so jealous. Am only 5' 5" and so wanted to be tall. Tall is brilliant.

As for the rude boys, think how she can pat them on the head and say "never mind, I expect you'll grow up soon" "sorry you're such a short arse".

Being short has its own problems.

My 5' 1' 7st 7lb strong as an ox daughter used to be incandescent with rage at people, especially boys, saying "oh you're so cute" or "you're like a doll". She used to vent her rage by arm-wrestling boys (she always won).

My boss is a tall lady at about 6"1, she's beautiful and a lovely person too, I ency her so much.

We've discussed it before and she's told me she doesn't think she'd have got where she is (VERY successful career), without being so tall as it seems to make men respect her more and take her seriously.

Point out all the positives to your DC, being tall is lovely :)

My DD is 5'11" at 14 years, and has always been extremely tall right from toddler age. Her height has always been the first thing anyone comments on. It seems that will never change. I don't perceive all the comments as negative, just people trying to find something to say I think. We have tried to handle it with humour, and she has learned to do this too. If we didn't laugh it off, it would be extremely trying. I think it gets better now her growth has slowed and slowly others start to catch up, particularly the boys. I think it will be more of an asset in adulthood. As other posters have said, keep pointing out the positives, and find ways to raise her confidence. I don't think people realise how difficult being tall as a girl can be in the teenage years.

Oh i so feel for her: I was 5ft11 at 13. And size 8. Yes it was awful, but ... come 19, I learned what i looked good in and suddenly i found a lot of my peer group envied me and men were more interested. I looked great in anything fitted or tailored and learnt to love my figure.

I bet she has legs to die for? Concentrate on the positives with her: look at how tall women dress/what suits them.

www.sofeminine.co.uk/fashion-trends/what-to-wear-if-you-re-skinny-s563557.html

Google catwalk models & how they dress outside the catwalk - Gisele Bundchen etc.

I'm 5 11. And love it. It's fantastic being tall and there are lots of us out there There isn't a model under 6 foot. Just fill her with confidence. She'll enjoy it in time.

I like being quite tall but I get sooo jealous of the shoes my shorter friends can get away with

It does suck at that age when you just want to blend in. All I can say is offer lots of positive comments about her height to give her confidence.

Now I am older I do think it helps me be taken seriously at work, and I have never really felt vulnerable as a woman (eg on my own after dark). More positive male attention too. I dunno how much it has to do with height but I have never dieted in my life.

There are still downsides - I hate standing in a group of women in a bar/club as I can't hear a thing anyone says (many of my friends are male, might be related!) and I do still sometimes feel self conscious. DH is smaller than me and hates being towered over, we fight over me wearing heels.

I am an "old person" (who is not a twat) who is tall.

I am noticed.

And remembered.

I rather like being tall...