DH complaining that he's tired.

[soapydopeybubbles]

DH is forever complaining that he's tired and yet refusing to do anything about it.

We have a 1 year old DS who is teething, I'm off work with mental health issues and he works full time as a doctor so of course we're both tired and he has every right to be tired and say so.

I would have endless sympathy for him if he'd ever take the opportunity to have an early night. Yet every time I point out that he could go to bed earlier there's always something that he wants to watch on TV or some rubbish that he wants to look up on the internet. It's never anything that he couldn't do the next evening or at the weekend but he always has to do it straight away and is usually up until midnight every night.

It's getting on my wick because his tiredness is mostly self inflicted but he spends every evening complaining and rarely wants to do anything at the weekend because he's tired.

Any suggestions?

I do this too It's a vicious circle really. The more tired I am the more likely I am to make lazy, unhelpful choices - junk food, no exercise, slobbing about on the Internet - all of which makes the tiredness worse.

He's a doctor so he should know this stuff really. Can you try and get an internet shop in with light, healthy easy cook food? Diet and sleep are the starting points really. A check by his GP would probably be good but every doctor I have ever met avoids this like the plague

I'm probably like your DP, I find it very hard to go to bed early. I think it's because my life is so hectic I find it hard to give up 'me' time in favour of sleep.
It can also be difficult to go straight to bed if you come in from work late and don't have time to unwind.
Could you take it in turns to have a lie in at weekends and go out in afternoon?

As he's a doctor I would say the words 'poor sleep hygiene' at him...

You sound very unsympathetic. "Mostly self inflicted" means being tired because he is in a full time stressy job with a teething child and a wife with mental health issues isn't likely or is his fault??

When under pressure or stressed I need wind down time even if that means an early night doesn't happen. Being tired might be inevitable in his circumstances.

Do does this and it really grinds on me. There are times when I say seriously that I'm worried about him and would he help ease my worry by just going to bed, the rest of the time I leave him to it. He is a grown man, if he wants to make his life harder then that's his choice.

Mine is the same - I just say if he doesn't go to bed before 11pm then he has no moaning rights, and as soon as he starts i give him THAT look..

I do this too, but because I really need time to myself, and the only time I can do this is when all the dc are asleep.
It's such a relief to be able to have some peace and quiet and lose myself doing something I want to do, instead of being at the beck and call of others.

I do this. It's because it's the only time I get any control over that's mine for me

When my dh starts to shut his eyes I actually turn the to off and tell him he needs to go to bed.

For a while when dc2 was born he did for and sat night feeds then complained all day sat and Sunday so I used to go out and leave him with them and told him I couldn't listen to him moaning.

He never does it now.

Tell him not to moan about it if he's not willing to do things that could help him.

He has choices. He can go to bed earlier and not feel so tired. He chooses to stay up because there are things that he wants to do. he needs to accept that the consequence of this is that he feels tired.

I have no sympathy for people who regularly and repeatedly moan about stuff that it is within their control to change but they choose never to make changes, only to whinge.

Inclined to agree with IfMaybeBut, although it was phrased a little harshly!

It is irritating when people do this so I'm not entirely unsympathetic but at the same time I do think it might be wise to cut him some slack, as they saying goes