To think this video feels like working-mum-shaming?

[bethatasitmay]

I've spotted this new ad campaign on Facebook.

I wouldn't want a live-in maid myself and completely agree that everyone should have a day off, but the messaging of this campaign just made me really uncomfortable! It made me so sad to think that one day childcare may come to know my daughter better than I do. Is it necessary to make working mums feel like that?

YANBU. Where are the dads?? It's a very odd campaign, trying to guilt people into not treating their employees like shit by using their children.

I disagree. I'm a working Mum and don't feel in the least shamed by this.

Presumably the "Dads" in those families also benefit from the labour of the "Maids."

Sexist rubbish, on those grounds alone.

Unfortunate that an important campaign does it through sexist woman-blaming.

This is an ad for women in Asia, specifically Singapore, where giving your maid a day off became mandatory only last year (I think). The purpose is to try and encourage women to give a day off as required by law. It is not really relevant in a Western setting.

Maids in Asia answer to the woman of the house, so this is trying to appeal to those women to give their maids so time off.
An awful lot of women with live in maids won't work, so it isn't true to say this is a dig at WOHMs. It is a dig at women managing an employee unfairly and illegally

So the men have nothing at all to do with their own household and have no responsibility for their own children? It doesn't matter, I suppose, whether they know the name of their child's best friend - that's the mother's duty isn't it?

cailindana
No, but women at the employer of the maid. That's the way it works in that culture.
It isn't about men neglecting their children or household, it is saying to the employer of the maid 'respect the law and let her have some time off'.
They are doing it by guilt tripping women into making them realise how little time they spend with their children, but this isn't a mum/dad issue.
It is about women exploiting their employee by not giving them time off

I find it strange that a campaign aimed at preventing the illegal exploitation of women by their employers is being criticised for making the employers feel bad.
And if you don't use 24x7 childcare, then it really isn't aimed at you or your parenting.

I find it strange that a campaign aimed at preventing the illegal exploitation of women by their employers is being criticised for making the employers feel bad

Its aimed at the sexist assumtion that the fathers/husbands are not also responsible.

You need to take into account cultural differences.
In some cultures most households have a maid whether the wife works or not - Men have a wife to look after them and produce offspring, but don't want to be seen to be so poor that the wife has to do boring housework (what Victorians used to call "the rough") or childcare so the wife employs a maid.

Most maids are from other countries with few rights and are low paid.
Men don't even talk to the maid and the women generally view them as sub human.
DH spent time in Honk Kong where every sunday the town was overflowing with young Singapore or Phillipino women as that was their mandated day off.
Having a maid is part of their culture - and they exploit other cultures to provide those maids.

Hedgesinthewind it is for an Asian audience, fathers/husbands are often not at all involved in what happens in 'the home'. The culture is completely different to the West. Interaction between the man of the house and maid will often go like this, "Good morning, Sir." And then "Good evening, Sir." That is it.

I am originally from Singapore, by the way, so I'm aware of the way maids are treated, and am in full support of people getting the time off that they are entitled to (which is far less than they should get, in any case).

My point was more that the employers aren't being made to feel bad for overworking their employees. They're made to feel bad for being "bad mothers" and not knowing their children. That feels wrong to me.

It doesn't really make sense to me but maybe some research has been done and they found that mothers who may not empathise with the maid's right to a day off would be more likely to follow the law if they could see the benefit for themselves.

In the setting of Singapore and for the people to whom it is aimed.

It made me so sad to think that one day childcare may come to know my daughter better than I do. Is it necessary to make working mums feel like that?

I don't see how the advert could make you feel like that. I'm sure you plan to go to your child at night when they have nightmares and speak to our child enough to know their likes and dislikes (unlike the mums in the video) so it doesn't apply to you.

They are trying to campaign for domestic workers basic rights within the existing culture. They are trying to inspire a behaviour change in today's Singaporean maid and family structure. It wouldn't have any chance of reaching people if it didn't show life as it is, but some idealistic non reality.

It's not trying to show that it's all the women's fault or sole parenting responsibility. It's just trying to find a way of making workers rights into a benefit.

Not saying it's the greatest campaign, as I don't think guilt is an emotion that naturally leads to positive behaviour change, but it's certainly not designed to be sexist or shame working women. It's a different issue from the one they're trying to raise awareness of, and although I think it's not good to ever show sexist representations of life, it would be a shame to miss the very worthwhile aim of this campaign.

I'm a bit baffled as to why it's supposed to conjure up general working mums/ parents guilt?

If you feel it's trying to guilt you, I can only suppose you must be one of the 40% of Singapore’s families who employ domestic workers in near slave conditions? Do you think employing a nanny for a living wage, a limited number of hours per day, 5 days a week, with a minimum statutory holiday entitlement of 5.6 weeks a year is anything like the lives of the workers they are trying to help? 40% of whom don't get even ONE day off a week?

No sick pay either, or minimum environmental safety standards, often with family in another country like the Philippines, including children of their own...

That's rather different to the way I employ our nannies (or cleaner!), and I am hoping thats the same for most/ all childcare employers on here!?

Therefore I can't see why the ad campaign could be possibly talking to or about me... just because I'm a working mother, as I don't participate in the near slave conditions some people have to endure.

I suspect the campaign is aiming to shift cultural norms & associations around 24/7 childcare non aspirational thing to do.

More about shame than guilt?

If so then I can see why it's been produced in this way. It would be interesting to know how their target audience perceives it, and whether by linking 24/7 servants to the idea of being a distant mother vs the current positives.

I suspect that home workers will remain badly treated unless there is a bigger shift in working culture, as there is a general expectation that office workers (etc) must show commitment by putting in incredibly long days, unpaid overtime, client entertainment etc, which then sets up the need for longer childcare hours.

However this isn't the only driver of ill treating home workers, and it would be easy to avoid personal responsibility for the way you treat your staff by blaming it on working culture. It doesn't help but there are other factors at play here.

Complex situation.

here is a rebuttal that I agree with completely.

Perhaps I'm projecting a little here then, as I've recently gone back to part time work and still feel a bit of guilt for "leaving" my baby.

I no longer live in Singapore, and my husband and I care for our daughter six out of seven days in a week (with one day at nursery). And as I mentioned, I think that domestic helpers in Singapore are treated unfairly, and I completely agree with trying to ensure they are given at least their legal holidays, if not more.

My quibble is with the messaging of this particular ad, nothing more. Firstly, I feel it's sexist. Secondly, I feel that it's completely unrelated

Sorry! Baby pressed post on the phone!

Unrelated to what its message is. Just because you don't give your employee their rightful days off doesn't necessarily make you a neglectful mother, and vice versa. Knowing your children should have nothing to do with how you treat your employees.

This ad, however, relates it to the time spent with your children, which working mothers simply have less of.

bethatasitmay, I think you are projecting too much. Going back to work part time will not harm your baby in anyway. Your baby will not forget who you are.

This campaign has nothing to do with working mothers or fathers in the UK. There is something utterly sad about having your child looked after by a nanny/ maid 24 hours, seven days a week. It is fair to say that mothers who spend ZERO time with their children are crap. I agree that the fathers who spend no time with their children are equally crap. Employers who do not give their maids a day off deserve to be shamed. Its fair to say that such parents do not deserve to have children.

In the UK full time childcare is 50 hours a week at the most. There are 164 hours in a week so working parents still spend most of the week with their children. Many families with two fulltime working parents have their children in childcare for a lot less.

I suspect the ad makers are trying to tap into the snobbery of a lot of Singaporeans.
The idea that their child's closest confidante is not someone from their very expensive private school, or private Mandarin lessons, or ballet classes - all carefully picked to provide them a nice bubble - but is the maid who they don't even value enough to give time off to, would be absolutely shocking to some women. Hopefully enough to shock them into giving the poor maid some time off under the banner of the mother having some time with her children and getting to know them better.

I agree with you OP.

Why they have chosen to encourage employers to give the legal time off to workers, by trying to make mothers (not parents) ashamed that they don't know their children is beyond me.

Why not just say, this is the law, this is the free helpline for maids to call, if you don't abide by the law you will be prosecuted.

Why not say, mothers and fathers who never see their children should be ashamed.

If a parent does happen to know who their child's best friend is, then this ad will be entirely ineffective won't it, irrespective of how they are treating their employees.

"Why not just say, this is the law, this is the free helpline for maids to call, if you don't abide by the law you will be prosecuted."

Because they won't be!

I work full time and don't feel ashamed. I have a wonderful, close relationship with my child.