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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To punch all parenting websites in the face?

73 replies

MaddingCrowd · 24/04/2015 05:51

DD 7mo always bloody always wakes between 4.30 and 5, clearly exhausted and won't go back to sleep.

It's the only parenting issue where I have never seen one bit of advice that I think might help. Often go on mumsnet etc about other things and usually see something where I think hmm that's interesting, hadn't thought of that etc. (although that is among the myriad of super irritating 'have you tried shh pat?' And the like).

Want to tear my hair out every morning when I try and Google tips and I see 'you may feel like 7am is too early to start the day but really this is quite normal for a baby' or 'make sure the room is dark'.

Bastarding bastards.

OP posts:
UncertainTea · 24/04/2015 05:56

I fear some babies are just wired that way. At least, I've given up trying to get my 5 year old to sleep again. You probably didn't want to hear that did you?
Have you tried going to bed at 9pm and starting the day with a peaceful walk when the rest of the world is asleep? or be patient a few months and when they're a bit older sticking the TV on and doze on the sofa next to them

TanteRose · 24/04/2015 05:59

Confused Grin

I take it you've already tried bringing him to bed with you? he might play for bit (i.e. he'll giggle and poke you in the eye, kick you in the stomach etc), but sometimes they get all sleepy again.

would it help to say that when they are teenagers, you cannot prise them from their beds until midday? no, thought not...

here's some Brew

Original poster
MaddingCrowd · 24/04/2015 06:04

Ha! I go to bed at 8. Up all sodding night with various DC:

OP posts:
UncertainTea · 24/04/2015 06:07

That's what I keep telling myself tante but I fear by then I'll be so used to get up at ridiculous times that I'll wake anyway! and take my revenge

There are plus sides to it, there's no mad rush or worry about getting them ready and out of the house to school/nursery. Can have a gentle slow morning. It's not a problem having an early start to go and visit something before all the crowds arrive.

I have a friend whose similar aged child never woke up until 930, still sleeps in like that at the weekend. Seems another world! But she had huge problems because they could never do any playgroups/classes and when school started.

rootypig · 24/04/2015 06:09

Sounds like a cycle of over tiredness.

Please don't punch me in the face Grin

specialmagiclady · 24/04/2015 06:09

Oh I remember it well...

Now of course I have been woken by my own brain which is Almost More of a Bastard than my bastarding babies were.

With DS1 I can't remember what I did about this went slowly mad but with DS2 I used to bring him to bed and basically FORCE a tit in his mouth and he would go back to sleep and I could doze with a boob in a boy. We didn't co sleep but we definitely did this bit. He would come into our bed at 5am til he was almost 2 and just go back to sleep. Oh bless, I can still feel his hot little weight in the bed. Waaaaaah! My baaaaaaaybeeeee! And one day he will have STUBBLE!

I digress - if you are not BFing does your baby have a sleep "thing" like a blanky or dummy? Could you repeatedly apply it in bed with you?
You do have to train them, in the manner of a dog.

With DS1 I think I just gave up - he's a morning person to this day but can at least tell the time now!

icklekid · 24/04/2015 06:10

If it helps my 9 month ds has gone from waking at 6 gradually earlier to 4.45 this morning Sad he will sleep after 2h but by that point I'm awake and normally dropping him off at childminders!

ouryve · 24/04/2015 06:11

Have been up since 4:30 with my almost 9 year old [yawn]

If you've tried everything and nothing works, all you can really do is plan your day around the early start. It's a killer if you can't reasonably do that, though Brew

UncertainTea · 24/04/2015 06:11

Ouch! That's painful if you have more than one! is it just the baby you are up with regularly or do the others have a similar routine?

JuniorMint · 24/04/2015 06:12

My nearly 1yo wakes around every 2 hours or so and I cuddle her back to sleep. YES I have tried "putting an item of my clothing that smells like me" in the cot- curiously, nothing happens (along with every other stupid smug piece of advice online and in books; ok maybe slightly rude but I'm shattered).

YANBU!!

Cbell · 24/04/2015 06:18

We've given up trying to get him back to sleep and instead take it in turns to do the early shift.

Our DS was waking at 4am for about 6 months...NOTHING WE DID WOULD GET HIM BACK TO SLEEP. He now wakes around 5am and we are so grateful that we just get up with him....he has trained is well!

Best advice: if you can take the mornings in turn.

Plonkysaurus · 24/04/2015 06:26

I could have cried with relief when mine started waking at six. it took twenty months for him to not wake up at 1, and 4 then up for the day at 5. I could have punched those who just said "why don't you do his bedtime later?" along with "you need to get him more tired in the day".

I stuffed him in with us when he woke in the early hours, and he had middle of the night milk until 18 months.

Screw the haterz, they just don't know!!

spookyskeleton · 24/04/2015 06:27

Have you tried 'wake to sleep'? This is basically when you get up an hour before they usually wake up, go in and gently disturb them by moving them/putting the light on - the idea is that you don't wake them up but just disturb their sleep cycle and break the habit they are in. You do this for about 5 days and then see if it has worked.

You need to take a leap of faith and having to set your alarm for half 3 is totally shit but it may be worth a shot.

I did it with DS1 and it did work - it only got us to 6/6.30 but that was much more preferable to 4.30!

Google it Smile

GloGirl · 24/04/2015 06:37

We treated anything before 6am as a night wakening. 5.30 (or before!) if he woke up for the day we gave him milk in darkness/silence, held him on my knee whilst he had a gurgle etc. I think if he was insitent I'd put him on the floor with a toy, but he had to use night vision still! I'd wait until 6am then open the curtains, put the light on and do very loud parenting.

Coffee1234 · 24/04/2015 06:37

My DH have this worked out, but it took 4 kids to do it. We get up and tag team a run. This makes us feel happy and virtuous rather than annoyed and resentful. It got better for all of hours once they stopped day sleeping

Coffee1234 · 24/04/2015 06:37

Ours, not hours!

shewept · 24/04/2015 06:45

Unfortunately I think some kids are just like this, but can possibly can be trained out of it.

Both of ours were the other way. Completely wakeful sleep til 2/3am then wanted to sleep late. They grew out of it eventually. Unfortunately between work and having to do the school run it meant getting up anyway.

You have my sympathy. We have just got ds sleeping through and dd is almost a teenager so sleeps all the time.

Sorry you are having a shit time of it. Flowers

gamerwidow · 24/04/2015 07:10

My dd woke at 4-430 every day until she was nearly three. You just have to go to bed early and ride it out. Even now at nearly 5 she usually wakes between 530 and 600 even though she goes to bed at 8pm. We tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, more naps, less naps, wake to sleep, dream feeds, cc, cio, blackout blinds,co sleeping nothing ever made her sleep in. You do adapt though even if they won't Smile

Original poster
MaddingCrowd · 24/04/2015 07:18

Face punch for rooty (totally not over tired completely the same whether no sleep in the day, adequate sleep in the day, excessive sleep in the day, early bed time, late bed time, normal bedtime)

OP posts:
Original poster
MaddingCrowd · 24/04/2015 07:20

I also do the no lights etc til 6 and do mostly
Try and leave her til then or at least not get her out of the cot. I remember doing the same with DS but it never worked.

I hate the bastatds who say consistency is key. I have been bloody consistent.

Another DC managed to poo in bed last night, joy of joys.

OP posts:
ditavonteesed · 24/04/2015 07:23

the reason you have never got any advice on this one that is useful is that noone has the answer ( I remember it well). You will have already tried every reasonable thing going I would imagine.

Original poster
MaddingCrowd · 24/04/2015 07:25

Sorry rooty that was meant to be followed by a Grin to lighten the mood (although I totally would face punch you)

OP posts:
TheTravellingLemon · 24/04/2015 07:28

I had this with DS. I found that tricks didn't work at all. We tried out every suggestion I could find. In the end he just grew out of it. He's still an early riser, but more like 6 now, which is more doable.

For us the only thing that worked in the end was finding a strategy to cope with it. I went to bed at 8 and DH handled everything until 1am, when I took over. At least we both got some sleep.

rootypig · 24/04/2015 07:31

Taken absolutely in spirit Madding Grin
And the face punch would be utterly deserved

Sounds really shit. My actual proper advice would be to move out for minimum six months - any good? Grin Grin

Wonkyparsnip · 24/04/2015 07:32

This used to piss me off. We had months of 330 get ups. It's slowly pushed to 6 (one day 630!!!) which was heaven on earth. Now back to 5 which is fine. We've tried everything. I find it totally bonkers when I hear peoples babies sleep till 8!!!!