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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so emotionally attached to my house that I'm finding it hard to let it go...

17 replies

HuftysTrain · 23/04/2015 19:09

I got married from here, conceived my babies here, raised my toddlers here. I feel as though every wall, every surface tells the story of my life and I can't bear the thought of someone else living in it. It's our first and only home together. It's such a lovely house. I've had a stream of estate agents in today. Oh this will go fast, you'll get a great price, we've got people on our database just waiting for a house like this. Measuring and assessing. Weighing up my home, my life, in their suits and clipboards.

I'm pathetic aren't I?

OP posts:

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 23/04/2015 19:10

Course you're not. It's a wrench to see a home treated as a commodity.

Are you moving somewhere nice?

findingherfeet · 23/04/2015 19:11

Nope. You're nice. But good luck with move.

Yarp · 23/04/2015 19:12

Of course you aren't. It's very upsetting to have Estate Agents anywhere near you

Southamerica · 23/04/2015 19:14

No I would be the same.

Do you actually have to move?

AwakeWithTheSparrows · 23/04/2015 19:15

at Yarp.

Dh said the other day that he can't see us staying in this house forever, although I agree, I feel sick at the thought of leaving it (and this isn't even the house we brought home our dc as babies to!)

I totally understand. Have a nice cuppa and a choccie digestive and remind yourself all the good things about where you want to move to and all the annoying things about where you live now!

Bowlersarm · 23/04/2015 19:15

Not pathetic.

Why are you moving?

I understand but .........you may not feel the same way if you fall in love with your dream house. And then no one wants yours. It becomes a millstone, you lose dream house, then another, you start to dislike your once beloved home.....

Happypiglet · 23/04/2015 19:17

I sympathise fully. I am in exactly the same boat but two weeks from completion. I literally sob every time I think about moving... today I copied down the height measurements that are pencilled on our under stairs cupboard door of the DC so I can replicate at the new house. How sad am I
I do feel a bit silly but I love this house so much it is really hard to let go.
And the thought of other people in it makes me feel actually sick....

Clawdy · 23/04/2015 19:19

Yes,it's hard at first but in the end a home is about the people in it,not the building. You will be fine.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 23/04/2015 19:23

After 28 years my parents give up our family home.

Tbh it wasn't as bad as I thought and the new house feels so much like home.

Wish they moved sooner.

maddening · 23/04/2015 19:25

Happy piglet - can you buy a new cupboard door and take the old one with you?

Baddz · 23/04/2015 19:30

Must admit I don't understand this mindset.
Doesn't mean yabu though.
But...bricks and mortar can't love you back.
You will take your memories with you.

Happypiglet · 23/04/2015 19:51

Maddening I want to do that DH has put has foot down because he can't do anything DIY related

StillProcrastinating · 23/04/2015 19:58

I'm assuming that as you said first and only home together, that you're not moving for happy reasons.

If that's the case then your reaction is absolutely understandable. It's not just about the house in that case.

Good luck

Original poster

HuftysTrain · 23/04/2015 20:05

StillProcrastinating I think I'm guilty of some tautology there. I just meant the only place we've owned together. All fine on the domestic front as far as I know

OP posts:

TruJay · 23/04/2015 20:15

Yanbu I completly understand where you are coming from. I get very attached to things, DH doesn't get it all.

I hope you find somewhere just as lovely to move into

happypiglet you have to take that door! I couldn't bare to leave it, tell DH you refuse!

Silvercatowner · 23/04/2015 21:18

Goodness I completely lost it when the movers first arrived. It was the first home I'd been happy in, I'd fallen in love there, had my babies there. It was awful. Be kind to yourself. It isn't just a house its a home.

maninawomansworld · 24/04/2015 17:06

YANBU at all.
I have spent my entire life in the same house. I'm the 7th generation to live here and I was born in what is now my bedroom (obviously was parents bedroom then). My father was also born in that room (not sure about the generations before him).
I spent a grand total of about 4 years living away then 3 years in the village down the road before parents moved out and gave me the house. I've lived 32 of my 39 years here and I will never leave. DW understood this before she married me as I told her it was a deal breaker right from the off - live here with me or live somewhere else without me.

Having somewhere that feels like home is very important. I hope you find it in you new place and have lots of fun creating those new memories.

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