Mixed feelings, had to dismiss somebody this morning

[Feelingbad15]

And I feel guilty as hell. They have 3 children, single parent.

I just couldn't do anything else but I keep seeing how her face crumbled. But I don't know how she expected anything else.

It's horrible.

Well, if you DIDNT feel bad about firing someone then there would be something wrong with you....

Was it cutbacks or her behaviour? I can see how firing staff when you don't really want to must be very upsetting

Behaviour. Really didn't have a choice but honestly, I feel SO awful.

Sounds rough on her and you.

If someone isn't performing well this has to be done, in a way it's kind of nice you feel bad about it.

If it was behaviour that rose to the level of being fired (as long as justified) the person should be worrying about her own situation and her own children. Was it malicious behaviour or just being a bit shit?

You should feel guilty because you are a human. Keeps us from being sociopaths.

Not exactly malicious but really pretty extreme behaviour! I don't honestly see how she could have expected any other outcome - but I didn't expect to feel so shaken by it.

Does your workplace have an employee assistance programme or similar where there's somewhere safe for you to talk through how this made you feel? It must be an awful position to be in. As long as you treated them with courtesy, respect and human decency then you can have a clear conscience. You didn't do this. They made choices which had consequences.

I've done it once. Horrible experience even though she had no dependents. She was lazy and useless, she had to go, but still . . . if you enjoy doing it you have no business being in a management role, have you?

True, true.

No, no sort of assistance - everyone is of the 'what took you so long' view, but still. What's sad is she used to be excellent in her role but changed.

The first time I had to do this I came home and cried my eyes out! Looking back the guy had been given SO many previous warnings and chances that he totally deserved it!
As long as you work for (or run) a company that operates in an fair and ethical way, then it will be done within the law and with the right to appeal.
You were only doing your job. The fact that you feel bad shows you have a heart!

I felt similar when I was on a jury which gave a guilty verdict and the Judge made reference to them being given a custodial sentence when they came back for sentencing - none of us had thought that would happen, it was a fairly minor crime but think she must have had previous. I felt incredibly guilty and also shaken that I had impacted someone's life that way but then someone said to me similar to what Momzilla has said- i didn't do anything to them, it was their choices.

If it's as clear cut as you say, any disciplinary manager would have made the same decision, it just so happens you were the person that was the manager on this case.

Of course, it's natural to feel guilty, as people have said it's what makes you human. I still think about being on the jury and that person even though it was a number of years ago. But, you must remember that although you feel guilty, there isn't anything you should feel seriously guilty about (as long as you have followed procedures and employment law etc).

Oh, that is hard, I would hate to do jury service!

In all honesty, had we followed procedures she would have gone at least six months ago but we've been lenient due to personal issues she's had but honestly, she was taking the piss!

Been there, done that. In our case it was underperformance over a long period of time, and on top of the main issue, she was dragging it out as well. It was having a terrible impact on the business, so the person just had to go.

Mixed feelings indeed.