Long time lurker, but this is my first post.
Old school friend is getting married later this year. We aren't particularly close these days, although we see each other every couple of months and move in the same circles.
A group of us was out for dinner at the weekend and bride to be handed out the invites to those of us who were there. Another friend enquired whether they were planning to set up a gift list somewhere.
Bride to be replied that no, they weren't. They live together so don't really need any household stuff, they'd just much rather 'you guys just chuck some money into an envelope and hand it to us at the wedding'.
I was slightly put out by this explanation, but then their wedding, their choice.
Anyway, I was just about to go looking for a nice card to put a couple of notes in, when chief bridesmaid who appears to be ridiculously overinvested in this wedding called to announce she doesn't really like the idea of just handing over the money as it seems 'a bit sad', so she's taken it upon herself to throw a party specifically for the handing over of the cash, so to speak. Let's make it truly special for them, turn it into a nice get-together, blah blah blah.
I really have no desire to get along with this.
They've already had an engagement party with presents, she's having an OTT double hen do (a long weekend abroad, plus a weekend do closer to home), I see no reason why there should be another party.
Or is it a thing now?
Anyway, WIBU to email bride to be, ask for her details, send a bank transfer for ££ I want to gift, and then politely excuse myself from gift-giving party?