...to ask about Sikh wedding ettiquette?

[clairewitchproject]

I posted on the religion page a few days ago but haven't had any responses!

My lovely neighbours have invited me and the kids round to help celebrate their son's wedding. They are British Sikhs and reasonably observant as far as I know - they have a family shrine, the dad wears a turban etc. We aren't invited to the ceremony itself just the party at home after.

Is there any particular ettiquette I should be aware of? eg receiving lines, customary greetings etc? Also I don't want to go empty handed but am not sure what sort of gift would be acceptable?

Thanks very much!

I know nothing but a quick search found this, hopefully some actual sikh MNers will be along to help in a while, but in the meantime this page might be some help to you
www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Attending_a_Sikh_Wedding

It will be relaxed at their home, no particular formalities like receiving lines, food will be plentiful, most Sikhs drink alcohol and they're very welcoming.

Few tips:
Take shoes off when you enter the house unless everyone else has kept theirs on.

Don't smoke unless others are.

Maybe don't wear a very short skirt/low cut top/hotpants etc. Sikhs are generally quite liberal but some of the older women may tut.

Take a small wrapped gift for the bride and groom eg photo frame or similar and maybe box of chocs for the hosts. Its token really (most Sikhs won't turn up to anyone's house empty-handed), will be appreciated and needn't be expensive.

The food may be spicy though there are usually less spicy options for the kids. If in doubt maybe feed the kids before you go.

There will be extremely sugary indian sweets. One very small bite will have the kids on a high for hours.
If you're male you'll be plied with whisky.
Be prepared to dance (pump hands in air/clap).

It'll be fun (and noisy).

From a similar background - definitely take your shoes off. I would suggest cash in a card rather than a present is more the norm.

These things often run late so don't turn up right on time - as a neighbour you can probably judge the right time quite easily by keeping an eye out for cars pulling up.

Bit of a tangent - I don't really understand why Indian sweets have this reputation of being sugary - I don't think they are especially so compared with other sweets? Lots of them are milk or nut based so taste pretty savoury to me.

My husband has never been as drunk as he was when he went to a Sikh wedding!

Hello - from what you have said, they may not be especially conservative, but:

• points above mostly accurate, do take your shoes off if others are, relatively conservative dress, no smoking for women, the sikh women won't be drinking so don't if you want to fit in (otherwise make your own choice)
• this will be a fun and festive occassion, so there is likely to be singing/dancing
• chances are the kids will be off playing with the other kids so let them if others are (I spent my childhood attending sikh weddings most weekends, quite fun for that reason)
• gifts - most indians would give a card with money in it rather than a wrapped gift. that is your choice, but if you decide to do cash/gift card its lucky to give a number ending in 1 eg £21, £51 etc... because the 1 'brings on more'
• if you can avoid wearing black or white that would be better (you, not partic your DH/Kids - won't matter so much what they wear, and jeans for kids ok)

There won't be a receiving line, there will be food (this is the main purpose of it), and may or may not be drinking - but that will be the men sorry!

customary greeting is 'sat sri kal' said with hands in a prayer position and a slight nod. everyone will say this to you - you can say the same or hello back...

Sikh parties are awesome. I stayed with a Sikh family last year and went to the gurdwara with them etc. so fucking lovely and welcoming and amazing, you lucky thing.