Hi - I am a very long-time lurker and posting for the first time because I've seen how great the advice has been to others over the years and now could also do with some help from the vipers!
Some background so I'm not accused of dripfeeding:
I am a single mum and started a job 3 years ago which required working full-time, plus evenings and weekends on top for which we got paid overtime but had no control over. I had a 3 year old (with special needs) and a 1 year old at the time. Needless to say, working those hours was tough but with a lot of help from my mum who took on the childcare it was manageable and I needed the money to pay for my eldest sons therapy.
The following year I had a word with my manager and cut down the weekend working as my mum worked weekends so I was struggling to find childcare (plus have any sort of a life!). This was agreed and didn't make much difference to the business as it was paid overtime so could just be allocated to someone else or given to a freelancer who wouldn't cost much more than our overtime rates anyway.
This year the therapy finished and I agreed to go part-time working Mon-Wed (plus evenings) but full weeks over busy season which is April/May. All well so far. I haven't felt the benefit of part-time work yet as I am also studying at the moment so my days off are currently study days but these will soon be over as the exam is in June.
Also, due to business needs we are not allowed to take any annual leave in the first 5 months of the year.
Hence I am really looking forward to the summer when my exams are over, work is less busy and I can make the most of the holidays and spend some much needed time with the kids.
Another manager within the business has a project for which busy season is over the summer holidays. This project will require working on some Thursdays/Fridays (non-flexible). He would like me to be involved. I politely told him I am happy to be involved Mon-Wed but I don't work Thurs/Fridays. He is refusing to take no for an answer. There is another member of staff who could do this (and should do this as it is more related to his area of expertise) but this manager doesn't trust him to do a good job and would rather have me involved as it is important to him that the job goes well (his reputation is on the line).
We have had this conversation a few times now and he wants another meeting to discuss next week if there's anything we can juggle so that I can be available.
I just don't want to! I'm not contracted to work those days, I have sacrificed so much time with my kids over the past few years that I am loathe to give up any more especially as I've not been able to take any time off over Feb half-term or Easter holidays. There is another employee who could do the job but they don't think he's good enough - why should I suffer for being good at my job?! I don't get any thanks or a bonus, just more work piled on because they can trust me. Although the Thurs/Fri working would be paid overtime - I don't want or need the money - time is much more precious to me.
What grates even more is that the manager who wants me to do the work also has two similarly aged children but has a wife at home and also a live-in au pair. He can take holiday whenever he likes and buys extra so that he is actually off 1 week in every month! I covered his project in the Feb half-term so he could go away with his family, yet I'm not allowed holiday at that time of year due to business needs (yes covering his stuff!).
Am I being unreasonable to not want to give up my only days off even though they will be paid and will help the business. If not, how do I stand up for myself next week where we have yet another meeting of him trying to guilt-trip me into giving up more of my summer holidays?
Sorry its so long!! Will really appreciate any advice.