To be really dreading DS's birthday

[everyusernameisinuse]

DS - year 1 - has aspergers. He was chatting today about what type of birthday he'd like.

I'm really dreading it. DH wants to do a big party for him - and of course I'd love to as well.

However, DS only got one invite to a party this year from a boy in his class. I know there have been other parties. DS is oblivious to this. I don't know if many children from the class would go to his party. He kind of plays on the periphery but joins in when he wants to.

There are not many children living near us that I could invite

I'm conscious too of other people being surprised at how little children are at his party and it bring obvious that he has issues.

AIBU to be really dreading this.

To be honest...when its a whole class party, I dont think whose party it is even resonates much with the kids... They are just happy to be going to a big party with all their friends, games and cake! I reckon it will be fine op.

I understand how you feel.

My Ds will be 7 next month, he has ASD. He has chosen to have a party at the local soft play. Three have replied so far ( all mother's I know well and know D's has ASD), I am worried the others won't reply - most don't know about D's diagnosis as it's very new but they see him as immature.
I have two older kids and never had these worries before!

We did softplays for the first couple of years at school. At age five or six, the round of birthday parties mostly seems to be a way to keep the kids occupied so the chances are that if you invite the kids from school they will come. DS was only invited to two or three each year, but some kids were going to one or two a week. (I tried not to take this too personally.) Other birthday parties he had later on were a ballgames party – run by the teacher of a ballgames class that DS attended so I knew DS would cope; a bowling party; a museum party (one of our city museums is set up for this); a swim party. Some kids carried on having big parties through primary school, others only ever wanted a small party (or no party) anyway.

Try not worry if the party turns out big or small. We went to a brilliant small party at a softplay – the place was empty because it was a hot sunny day, many of the invited kids were away for the summer, and the kids just ran around freely and had a great time. Having the place to themselves felt like a treat for the birthday girl.

I think any number goes at any age. More children are having smaller things now in Y3 but some had smaller in Y1 and others have bigger in Y3.

My favourite soft play party was a Monday night at soft play! I thought it was a rubbish idea beforehand, but like Kleinzeit says, it was deserted and it felt really special for a handful of kids to have virtually private hire.