aibu to be so upset / angry about this?

[gingerbreadmam]

i will keep it short as ive posted in 30 days and no response.

basically had an issue at work, knew it was going to happen as some people i work with can be strong willed (verging on difficult) at times.

anyway i cried at work, cried on the way home and cried at home (pregnant/hormonal ) and i cant decide a) whether im over reacting due to hormones and b) what is the best way to deal with it without making it worse.

basically a generic task whole office should do but there is an opinion it is my job. its not and i have had clarification from management and advice on how to deal with it without creating an issue in the past which i braved doing yesterday (just before i went home). anyway came in this morning to a meetinf request from said management to discuss today.

the meeting was originally scheduled between me manager and colleague (even tho it is a team task) so i said i wasnt happy to do that as it makes it look like there is a problem between colleague and i (and in all honesty i felt it was managements place to respond to colleague and relay what i have been told numerous times). anyway it was agreed the meeting would be team wide which made more sense although made me anxious as opened the issue up to other colleagues i have had similar issues with in the past.

needless to say the meeting did not go well. partly due to historical communication issues, but it was clear that some people were still of the opinion it was my task. some hurtful and unnecessary comments were directed my way and now im completely dreading going in tomorrow. eyes are still burning from all the crying.

so firstly am i being unreasonable to have let work upset me that much? i am happy to accept hormones being the issue.

secondly how can i raise this without making the issue a lot worse. small team, spend a lot of time in a small room with them, really really dont want anymore anymosity than what there is so far. thanks

i think one of the issues is, in the past it was conveyed on email. its never been said in person apart from to new starters so it was discovered early on in the meeting people werent really sure they had to. i dont know how true that is though as everyone barr the 1 or 2 that never do it said they did it.

i am feeling more and more that it is management and i did tell them i felt let down by them one for organising the meeting and two for letting it carry on.

i constantly had to justify throughout the meeting why the job didnt fall to me and it just felt like me vs them with management just asking the team what do you think we should do, how do you think we should manage this.

the outcome being the 1 person who didnt want to do it now doesnt have to if it comes in electronically.

i just think telling the two below that they had upset me isnt going to do anything other than piss them off probably and nothing will come out of it. i really think they should be told on a management level its not appropriate to behave like that in meetings.

some hurtful and unnecessary comments were directed my way

Of course YANBU to be upset.

Management aren't being strong enough. Can you ask that the whole team receives training on the task before you go on maternity leave, and this training of course includes them understanding it is part of their job?

sorry we did agree in the meeting that training would be given so people knew what to do in future.

Impossible to say really, without having at least some level of context and detail.

not sure how much more detail i can give without outing myself really.

say i worked in an estate agent where there is a team of 8 people. 1 line manager. 2 at grade 6. 5 at grade 5.

on an occasional basis we get people email, call or pop into the office saying they cant view properties on line. the issue for this is usually because they havent submitted a contact number to us. we can quickly log into the system as admin and see that this is the problem. we can then ask for the number, type it in and the account is made active.

on occasion the number is there but they still cant see, this then requires some investigation where the issue would then be escalated to myself or my line manager.

it is the expectation that everyone in the estate agents is able to check whether the issue is that the telephone number isnt recorded. this is to give good customer service and save the customer waiting to view properties.

1 or 2 colleagues never do the initial check instead choosing to forward it to me. i am busy and a more senior scale and although i have no problem doing this, it could take me some time as i have other priorities. Also by the time this has been forwarded to me, really the issue could have been resolved.

ive raised it with management previously for my own clarification as if they were supposed to come to me then at least i would know. i was told it is the expectation that we all do this task and advised the next time one was sent to me to reply to my colleague with guidelines attached which is what happened and then the colleague complained resulting in the team meeting.

That is so lazy of them, then! By the time they've emailed you, they could have dealt with the situation!

very true. i dont actually have issue with that tbh it was getting on my nerves tho hence me speaking to management about it numerous times.

i have issue with colleague A mentioning in the meeting that the request had been sent to me first thing and i had responded last thing requesting they complete (as advised by management) and calling this aldi customer service and something along the lines of sloppy. i had actually been in appointments the majority of the day and hadnt had chance to respond up until that point. (silly comment really as it was actually them who hadnt dealt with is as they should).

when justifying why it wasnt my role and had limited experience of it being told by colleague B that i had done a task previously that i have no recollection of and said so and then them arguing with me about exactly when i did that task, in front of the whole team.

but i guess most of all i have issue with management for not supporting me (afterall it was them who advised me to respond to colleague A asking them to complete) and letting the meeting continue after the issues above.

i have spoken to management about this and they intend to speak to colleague a and b tomorrow but i am afraid all that will happen is she will tell them they upset me and why they upset me. i fear this will make me more of a target and wont resolve anything anyway. i was hoping management would go down the lines of saying they dont agree with colleague a and b's behaviour in the meeting.

as far as i know the meeting was never intended to be them against me but that's exactly what it felt like.