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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get shirty with the next Christian who offers to pray for me on the street.

94 replies

Spero · 21/04/2015 14:30

This has now happened twice within the past three months. On the first occasion it was a lone man, and just now two young men together.

They both commented that they noted I was 'struggling' to walk and could they pray to Jesus for me? On both occasions I have replied chirpily that I am a life member of the BHA but if Jesus can grow me a new leg, they've got a convert.

So is this a 'thing' now? Is there a Christian sect that encourages this activity? This has only ever happened in the last few months. And would I be unreasonable to tell the next lot to fuck off? Because I think if I wanted someone to pray for me (unlikely) I would ask them, not just hope I would get stopped on the street as I go about my own business....

OP posts:
RosesareSublime · 21/04/2015 15:31

spero what ever you do never engage with them, they are totally brain washed. its pointless and a waste of your time.

Spero · 21/04/2015 15:32

I sincerely hope for their sakes they don't attempt to lay any part of themselves upon any part of me.

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squoosh · 21/04/2015 15:33

No one has ever handed me a religious pamphlet or stopped me in the street to talk about God. I must look as though I'm beyond redemption.

That being said my mother did say she'd said a novena for me recently. Grin

worldgonecrazy · 21/04/2015 15:36

We have them in my town too. We have lots of different sects, which keeps things amusing. We have the more in-yer-face preachers who tend to get quite rude when muslims walk past, the "would you like a leaflet" brigade who target people they perceive to be vulnerable (not to be confused with the Scientologists in their orange anoraks) and the JWs who hold their leaflets next to their stands and wait to be approached.

Incidentally, the number of visible homeless in my town has grown significantly, and I've never seen any of these approach the homeless, even when they are only a few yards away.

Jux · 21/04/2015 15:41

My dad used to engage JWs in theological debate, and luckily he had the education and brains for it. If he was bored he'd be talking to them for hours.

I just try to avoid it all. I have many of my extended family praying for me already (Catholics) and frankly some of them are so holy that if their prayers don't work, no one's will. I hate it, but as they're family I just nod and smile.

Ask them for a new leg, Spero. And then engage them. If they can't do the leg then what are they actually for? What use are they?

flora717 · 21/04/2015 15:42

I'd remind them the bible encourages prayer to be a private thing (one of Paul's letters aimed at dissauding Christians from overt and showing off behaviour that alienated them from their community). Obviously persecution is less of a fear for Christians in the UK, but it's damned rude to interrupt someone over a personal issue they might not even have a problem with! Really really dodgy ground. By offering to pray to 'fix' people they are judging that person to be 'broken'. Pretty shit of them. If someone did that re my speech impediment they'd learn I can say fuck off eloquently enough.

Spero · 21/04/2015 15:47

Exactly world - instead of praying, why not DO something that would help. Didn't see them offering to walk my dogs, despite my obvious 'struggle'.

And good points flora - that's precisely why it upset me, because they were judging me as 'lesser' without ever having met me or asked ME if I thought I was struggling.

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Igneococcus · 21/04/2015 15:49

There were Mormons in my house last week when I got home. I was greeted with a very excited "Mum, we've got Mormons" from dd shouted across the house. It was raining badly and they were both so wet dp couldn't bring himself to send them away, gave them a towel and let them dry out a bit. They were very nice, they didn't manage to do any missionizing (we are firm atheists anyway) because they asked dd what her favourite topic at school was and she told them all about the Jacobites (and she knows a lot about the Jacobites). They were too polite to interupt her and thus never got a word in. They didn't offered to pray for us though.

squoosh · 21/04/2015 15:55

"Mum, we've got Mormons"

Grin

The Mormons are always super pleasant. They glow with zeal. And they always send the best looking ones over from America too I notice. Clever.

My mother thinks they're 'such lovely boys' although their Mormon ways are deflected by the Catholic forcefield she wears around her. It's kind of like a religious readybrek glow.

Igneococcus · 21/04/2015 16:02

I have never met a Mormon who wasn't nice and I lived in a town with a large temple for some years.
Those two (one Canadian, one US) were very young, smiley and enthusiastic and they did say that they actually help people with day-to-day stuff, like fixing things in the house.

Spero · 21/04/2015 16:04

Well that I can get behind -Jesus loves you and he's showing his love by fixing that tap for you.

Like the sound of Mormons.

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Poledra · 21/04/2015 16:04

Right then, if they like fixing things in the house to help, I'll bloody pray for some of 'em to visit me so they can hang the bloody bathroom door DH has been ignoring for months years a while

PausingFlatly · 21/04/2015 16:04

Shock There is no "good place" that going up to a stranger and offering to pray for them comes from.

It's a social transaction in which the "offerer" is privileging themselves over their target, pretending to have special powers or positioning the target as a sinner (sickness as sign of sin) in need of help from the virtuous offerer to gain redemption.

Seriously. If there were a god who were into miracle cures, s/he would do so in response to the disabled person's own prayers. It wouldn't need some random passerby.

Similarly, if random passerby genuinely did have such powers via such a god, they wouldn't need to approach the disabled person. In fact, they could miraculously cure everyone in the district without ever meeting them.

Approaching a stranger and pretending you have special powers over them is just a self-aggrandising power trip.

Poledra · 21/04/2015 16:06

Spero, I think pausing has just given you the perfect answer for the next time - 'Just why do you think I'd be interested in your self-aggrandising power-trip?'

Spero · 21/04/2015 16:10

Thank you pausing, a perfectly articulated response as to why I found the whole exchange so uncomfortable.

It's a pretty common general religious view I think that disablity in this life is somehow a punishment for sin?

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GratefulHead · 21/04/2015 16:16

My friend has this experience regularly as our town seems a target for the Mormon church etc. thing is that's my friend is a Catholic priest! You wouldn't know it as he rarely dresses in clerical garb preferring jeans and a t-shirt. His snappy answer to their offers "to pray for him to Jesus" is to respond "no thanks mate, I talk to him all day" Grin. If they persist any further he just tells them "look I am a Catholic priest so I need no guidance from you but thank you for offering".

GratefulHead · 21/04/2015 16:17

..and yes to Mormons being nice, my friend is never riude but rather humerous to them.

GratefulHead · 21/04/2015 16:18

"Catholic force field" fabulous expression.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 21/04/2015 16:19

I'm a Christian but 100% agree with this -

Seriously. If there were a god who were into miracle cures, s/he would do so in response to the disabled person's own prayers. It wouldn't need some random passerby.

similarly I can remember my clergy dad having one of his congregation who had a child diagnosed with cancer. (well meaning)people wanted to get this publicised throughout the churches in the city, in the hope that the more people praying the more chance of a miracle cure. He had to lecture them on the fact that why would God listen to loads of random strangers rather than the childs own distraught parents.

I also agree that if you see or know someone you feel compassion or concern for, you don't have to let them know or ask them permission to offer up a quick prayer, just do it.

Spero · 21/04/2015 16:20

But can I be a Catholic priest with visible lady parts?

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limitedperiodonly · 21/04/2015 16:21

From my experience of the Cuntstian I had to share breathing space in an office for two years it is done for their benefit and not yours.

She would randomly thrust her prayers on poor unfortunates - disabled people, poor people, women taken in sin me in order to rack up points with God.

Her version of Christianity was unremittingly judgmental and joyless.

However, there was also someone in the company who went on to become a Baptist pastor.

He was sincere in his faith but entirely tactful about the help he could give - both spiritual and practical. He'd never force it on anyone but you could see where his code came from.

He was also filled with the Wrath of God at the absolute worst of a long line of her hurtful judgments. I will always remember that.

To be brief: GodSquad (for that was the kindest name we called her) told a secular Jew whose non-Jewish stepfather had cancer, that she would pray for him, but to give him the best chance my friend and her mum should convert Shock.

I don't know how my friend kept her hands off GodSquad. I think she was too shocked.

Do you know what? He died. Must have been God's plan.

Chris - the future pastor - heard about this. He told GodSquad exactly how disgusting he thought she was in front of us all. He was furious and filled with righteous rage. He was probably the only person she couldn't dismiss as Godless.

The moral is: other Christians are available and they can be a lot of fun Wink.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 21/04/2015 16:21

It's a pretty common general religious view I think that disablity in this life is somehow a punishment for sin?

Well in the old testament, yes, but I'd hope this is not widely thought among Christians thesedays!

limitedperiodonly · 21/04/2015 16:25

If you see or know someone you feel compassion or concern for, you don't have to let them know or ask them permission to offer up a quick prayer, just do it.

That was the difference between GodSquad and Chris PHANTOMnamechanger.

Everyone knew of his faith because he wasn't ashamed of it. But he didn't wear it like a badge of pride and he was big on practical help with no strings.

Very nice man.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 21/04/2015 16:31

yeah, GodSquad lady sounds like the kind of PITA that gets the rest of us a bad name. I'm glad you had Chris as a better example!

PausingFlatly · 21/04/2015 16:36

Yy, some absolutely lovely Christians among my family & friends - fabulous people.

Then there are the pious little hypocrites with their manipulative martyrdom.