AIBU to be upset about this?

[thoughtpolice85]

Ex spent the weekend introducing the children to his new girlfriend who he has been with approximately 2-3 weeks.

Am I wrong for feeling this is way too soon for him to be introducing the children to his new girlfriend? My youngest got sent to the girlfriend's sister's house for a sleepover with the girlfriend's children on Saturday night so ex could spend time with his gf, although my eldest got to stay at his dad's. AIBU for my ex to prioritise the time he has with his children (which isn't very regular) over time with his new gf?

I do think it is a bit soon, yes.

How old are your kids?

I should add ex then asked my children to lie to me about his new girlfriend being there which upset them greatly.

Ex has made out like I am wrong to be upset as youngest had a really fun sleepover with her new friends. She came home saying how that is the new part of her family.

I would be livid at the thought of my DC staying over with the sister of someone he's known for 3 weeks. Absolutely bloody livid.

And yes of course he should be prioritising the time with his children, not shipping them off to someone he barely knows.

You need a major discussion with him.

My eldest is 11, youngest is 6. My eldest is not biologically my ex's but is the only father he has known.

How old are your kids? Are you sure they've only been together a few weeks?

Not remotely unreasonable. This is ridiculous, selfish behaviour. I really don' t understand what goes on in these men's minds. I suspect it is nothing other than 'this is what I want to do, it will be easier for me, so let's do it ' - if they think at all.

I do not think it is fair to introduce a new partner to children so early into a relationship. I think you need to wait for six months or so to be clearer that this is a relationship that will last - otherwise children are going to be introduced to a parade of new girlfriends.

YANBU, it's far too soon.

Are you sure on the timelines here? 2-3 weeks is insane to be introducing the kids.

Yes definitely only a few weeks, although they have known each other for years.

Although the children did not know her before the weekend.

I would go bat shit. It's just not acceptable at all.

YANBU

I am feeling like going bat shit but don't think it would help matters. Trying to talk to him calmly but he just cannot see it from my point of view, despite the fact for the past 3 years he has basically threatened me that I better not ever introduce a partner to the children EVER because he would make me regret it. Not that I would have after 3 weeks anyway.

YANBU

Is it out of character?

Too soon but nothing you can really do. It would best if the both of you could agree to not introduce new partners until at least 6 months of dating.

I would have words about spending nights at a stranger's house. That is wrong.

X post

So he's an arse then?

Massive arse Arsenic.

I will try and ask him to maybe hold off on playing happy families until they are both more serious.

If he's not really listening, maybe the best you can aim for is something concrete like a six month rule that applies to both of you. And emphasise the both of you bit? It might make him think (??)

Wow. Yanbu completely!

YANBU to be upset that someone has been introduced to the children so early in the relationship. Most people agree it is a good idea to wait until a relationship is well established before involving children.

However, what he is doing on his contact weekends is none of your business unless they are at risk of serious harm. You don't get to say who they see or who they stay with.

You can, of course, appeal to his good nature in a spirit of cooperation and ask him not to do this again but, in reality, you just have to let him get on with what he chooses to do during his contact time.

he has basically threatened me that I better not ever introduce a partner to the children EVER because he would make me regret it

I know he is an ex, OP but wtaf?

Hope you get this sorted. He sounds horrible.