AIBU to think I need to be handed a grip...

[vvviola]

I am going away on Friday with DH. 2 night in a town we both love. It is the first time the two of us have been away on our own together in 4 years.

And I'm on the verge of cancelling.

It's the first time I have left DD2 overnight since she was born. (She's 3.5, the trip 4 years ago was when I was about 16 weeks pregnant). Logically I know it will all be fine - she'll be with my parents, her big sister will be there, she's thoroughly comfortable at my parents house, and she's looking forward to her "sleepover". Added to the fact that my DM has paediatric healthcare experience and is a trained teacher of exactly DD2's age group. DD2 will genuinely be in better hands and having more fun than with me. But I can't get it out of my head that it would be a bad idea to go, and I should just stay home until DD is 25

(DM would, incidentally have taken her from much younger but it wasn't possible due to where we all lived at the time, bottle refusal by DD2 for ages and a few other complications. DM first had DD1 overnight at 9 months old)

So, AIBU to think I need to be handed a grip and told to go off and enjoy myself and stop with all this "I don't think I should go lark" before DH takes me at my word and leaves without me

I think you just have to accept that it'll feel scary and wrong as you leave her but it's the right thing to do. Once you get away, hear that your DD is having a blast with grandma you will probably start to enjoy yourself.

Ooh, look at the lovely collection of grips I have

Just as I expected, I need to stop stressing.

DD2 wasn't the sort of baby toddler who was easy to leave (food allergies, frequent waking at night, boob monster) and MIL, who we lived next to at the time, wasn't willing to babysit her (she happily looked after older DD), so it just never happened.

I don't think I think anything is going to go wrong as such, but I'm afraid she's going to be upset by the whole thing.

The strange thing is, I'm about as far from a smothering mum as you can get really. I think it's just the realisation that it's been 4 years since we went away that has thrown me.

we're actually going to have to talk to each other for three whole days, aren't we?

keep asking, soon you will have enough to set up a shop...

VVViola - I was completely the same the dc2. I left dd with my parents three times in her first year but with ds I've only ever left him with dh. Can't explain it but I understand it.

Yes - you are going to have to talk to your husband for 3 whole days without the children around, thus removing about 80% of the regular subject matter

Oh God TreadSoftly! Maybe that's why I'm thinking of cancelling

I actually started packing lists yesterday, and realised that not only am I getting excited about the prospect, but also that I'd forgotten how easy it is to pack for just one adult!

I get it, OP. Last year DH & I went away together for a weekend without the DC for the first time in 20 years. I hadn't a clue what we'd find to talk to each other about, but we managed. We had a great time & I wish we'd done it sooner.

We are actually going on holiday together this summer for a whole week without them, as the youngest is almost an adult now.

So, grab your grip with both hands - and just go!

Ha, ha. Thought it might be. On rare nights out it can sometimes take 30 mins before we get back in the swing of things conversationally and stop yakking about how hard it was just to get out of the house and what time we need to be back by.

It's a town you both love remember. A lot will have changed in 4 yrs, there'll be loads to talk about especially after a few cocktails

Have a lovely time. It is strange - but it's something you need to do now!

A lovely time was had by everyone. Kids had a ball at Grandparents, we got to stay out past 8pm, and my DM got the opportunity to tell me that DD2 slept in late and she didn't know what I was complaining about regarding early mornings

So, win-win all around really!

And even more reason to get another date in the diary!

Glad it went well OP.

Brilliant! When are you off again!

(I'm leaving ds2 for the first time this weekend with PiL. I know he'll be fine, I know, but I'm still strangely nervous...!)