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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think neighbours should NOT leave bin-bags on communal landing and also to wonder if we offended them?

4 replies

GuestCat · 20/04/2015 10:29

We moved into our 3-bed apartment a few months ago. Entrance is from a first-floor landing that is shared with 1 other apartment of identical layout. On first viewing we were surprised to see piles of junk on this communal landing (old furniture, kids toys, pool inflatables, bulk purchases of Pampers, about 30 pairs of shoes etc)... it looked an absolute tip! We assumed it had been left there by the family moving out, and asked agent to make sure it was cleared before we moved in. Agent agreed but said he thought stuff belonged to family in other apartment (our neighbours), said he'd find out and speak to their landlord if necessary. Anyway, when we moved in the clutter on landing had been reduced to about a third and tidied up so we didn't think anymore of it, although it did strike us as a bit odd/rude that they chose to store their stuff there when apartments have plenty of storage space inside. Soon after we met them on stairs (a young professional couple with a toddler) they were very friendly and nice, we had a chat, warmed to them and got on well. We decided to ignore the clutter on landing.

A couple of weeks later, DP came home from work, said he'd been chatting to neighbour in car-park. Neighbour had asked if he and his wife could pop round with a bottle of wine that eve so we could all get to know each other. DH had agreed. I was irritated as I was ill and apartment was a mess, also DH hadn't asked what time and we didn't know if the couple were coming for a quick chat or for dinner. We frantically cleaned, tidied, I made a big chicken salad, whipped up a sponge cake, laid out bowls of crisps and homemade dips, had a quick shower, did my hair, put some make-up on... and we waited. 8pm, 9pm, nobody came (we had kitchen door ajar so would have heard knock). At 10pm someone slipped a card under our door- it was a welcome card from neighbour with a friendly welcome message and their contact details. No explanation for why they hadn't popped round. TBH I was relieved they hadn't come as I felt so unwell, and I'm not really into socialising with neighbours anyway. I was puzzled but thought maybe DP and neighbour had misheard/misunderstood each other (DP and neighbour are fluent in English but its not first language for either of them) or thought maybe neighbours had had family crisis or that neighbour's wife hadn't wanted to come... what do you think?
I like to be friendly with neighbours and have good rapport, but prefer to keep it very impersonal (limited to chats in corridor) and don't really want to socialise or start going in and out of each other's apartments. I'm always like this with neighbours and DP and I like our privacy.

However, since we moved in, one thing that really frustrates us... they frequently dump their smelly bin-bags outside their apartment and leave them (often overnight) on communal landing. The smell is atrocious (think dirty nappies, rotting food, mouldy cheese smell) and it seeps into our apartment. I think this is really selfish/thoughtless (and disgusting). The bin-store is only just outside the building so I don't see why they can't take the bin-bags outside immediately if they don't want the smell in their apartment. Its really embarrassing when we have guests and they have to walk through the smell to get to our front door!
We felt too awkward to mention bin-bag problem to neighbours, so one evening when we were expecting guests DP just took their bin bags down to bin-store himself. As soon as he picked them up and set off downstairs neighbours must have realised, because he heard their door open and quickly close. They seemed to take hint and didn't leave rubbish bags on landing for few weeks after, but now they've started doing it again!! What should we do? We don't want to upset them or offend them but we both feel its U to leave smelly bin bags in communal areas. DP thinks they were offended when he removed bag before, as he said since then they no longer stop to chat to him. The other day we drove into carpark at same time as them but they didn't get out of their car, they waited inside it with doors shut until we'd gone into the building (which was a while as we had shopping in boot). Have we flaunted some rule of etiquette without realising?
Would it be considered PA if we discreetly take their bin-bags to bin-store until they get the hint again, or should we speak to them/email them or something?

OP posts:
Chunkymonkey79 · 20/04/2015 10:35

You need to say something. Be tough and knock on their door and just say it! It isn't acceptable, they need it bringing to their attention that it isn't ok.

londonrach · 20/04/2015 10:40

Say something. I lived on 3rd floor and occasionally leave the bin bag outside if it got full at night but i always always took it down in the morning. The bin area was dark and tbh very frightening, so i refused to do it at night. Couple across the cornidor did the same but again next morning their bin bag was gone. It could become a pest problem. Do you have a managing agent?

kissmethere · 20/04/2015 11:00

Speak to them. they might feel a bit embarrassed that this has bugged you. Just knock and say it's better and to start as you mean to go on .

CaspianSea · 20/04/2015 11:56

It's odd they asked to come round then didn't show up. Are you sure they didn't ask you to their place instead and your dh misheard?

Bin bags in hall would annoy me too especially smelly nappy bags Confused Its unhygienic and selfish. They need to take them straight to bins or else keep them in their own flat. I can understand a woman not wanting to go to bins at night but her DH has no excuse. Or she could take bins out before dark.

TBH they sound very lazy. Cluttering up a communal hall with household junk and leaving smelly rubbish bags out is disrespectful to other neighbours.

I'd put a note on one of the binbags asking them to take it outside for hygiene reasons. Confronting them face to face would just be embarrassing for both parties.

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