Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed when people make "jokes" about my hearing loss

36 replies

itsmeitscathy · 19/04/2015 15:17

So, I have significant hearing loss in both ears to the extent that even with hearing aids I generally have to tell people I have hearing loss so they slow down/repeat themselves. Invariably some smartass replies "what?" and pretends they didn't hear me.

I've had this with people I know very well (hearing loss not from birth) and with new people as well. I think it's ignorant, rude and quite frankly just not on. I don't see why it's widely accepted as a funny thing to do.

However, whenever I make it clear that I'm not amused I get the reaction of "oh, it is funny, take a joke etc etc".

AIBU? I hear(!) it so often that even if it was funny, it wouldn't be by now.

OP posts:
PuntasticUsername · 19/04/2015 15:19

YANBU - that's a ridiculous way for an adult to behave, and cruel.

Is it at work? If so, report the fuckers to HR.

Original poster
itsmeitscathy · 19/04/2015 15:23

At my previous workplace, yes, not for a while now at work when I think about it.

It's more socially, I have good friends who do it and they genuinely can't grasp that it upsets me.

OP posts:
textfan · 19/04/2015 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 19/04/2015 15:23

YANBU. It's not funny and its fucking annoying.

I have always had bad hearing, but I'm concerned its getting worse. Anytime I mention it someone goes "what" then laughs their arse off. Ah yes, I may be going deaf….fucking hilarious!

StrawberryCheese · 19/04/2015 15:24

Yanbu. Hearing loss is no laughing matter. My mum wears hearing aids and often gets customers at her work getting huffy with her because she asks them to repeat themselves. That's one thing but making jokes is totally disrespectful.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/04/2015 15:26

same with me. I have hearing loss and it seems okay for some to make fun of it or talk to me like Im stupid or something.

Original poster
itsmeitscathy · 19/04/2015 15:26

Puds, that's exactly it, I find it really irritating! Why would your hearing problem affect their hearing?! I think it annoys me most that as a joke it makes no sense!

OP posts:
MrsNuckyThompson · 19/04/2015 15:26

Yanbu. I genuinely can't believe this is something that happens often to you. Ridiculous!

(But to the poster above, it is not illegal! The disability discrimination legislation applies to employers and providers of public services but not to individuals!)

SauvignonBlanche · 19/04/2015 15:26

YANBU
It's very annoying.

SoleSource · 19/04/2015 15:28

I have left sided deafness. I lost my earning after surviving meningitis when I was thirty two years old. It really is tedious and down right rude/annoying after the first few jokes. I feel this treatment could silence hard of hearing people instead of asking others to repeat what they have said etc

It is so disrespectful.

Original poster
itsmeitscathy · 19/04/2015 15:28

Actually that reminds me, I went to a big sports game with lots of security and the guy asked me something. I asked him to repeat for me etc and he then pretended to start signing at me and making a joke of it.

I think people have little patience for hearing impairments - that's my experience anyway.

OP posts:
CheeseAndBeans · 19/04/2015 15:29

YANBU. Completly agree. I am totally deaf in one ear (due to mumps as a child) and whenever I have to mention it to someone new I get "what?" Or "pardon?". Bloody hilarious. Not.

ScorpioMermaid · 19/04/2015 15:29

YANBU My DH wears hearing aids in both ears (not deaf but significant loss) and gets this a lot too. It annoys me never mind him!

letscookbreakfast · 19/04/2015 15:31

YANBU, I wear hearing aids in both ears but I've never had this happen to me.

Kewcumber · 19/04/2015 15:35
Shock

What arses I can't believe that people do this Shock

They are the kind of people who hop on one leg when they see people with missing limb. I don;t know how you put up with it. I hope you have perfected the hard faced steely stare. Or alternatively "Did you mean to be so fucking rude?"

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 19/04/2015 15:36

Yanbu, I think it's really distasteful to do this. I suppose people are joking as they feel uncomfortable about having been not heard, but they should think how mocking and unpleasant it is, especially if you can't hear all of these oh so funny comments properly.

I have lost my sense of smell due to neurological problems, and my problem is that no one believes me. They can smell something, therefore I must be able to as well, and if I say I can't I must be lying. It drives me mad but it doesn't come up as often as it would if I have hearing problems, so I am very sympathetic to the op and others who have to go through this.

NonDom · 19/04/2015 15:39

That's horrible for you. When I encounter someone hard of hearing I always make a point of good face to face contact so that they can fill in any blanks by lip reading.

I can't imagine joking about someone's hearing loss. Have you ever downplayed it, so they don't appreciate its true extent?

ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:46

OP me too. I HATE IT. But I haven't yet thought of a good answer to a lot of the comments.

I may just say "Oh yes because it's FUNNY to laugh at someone who struggles with conversation EVERY DAY. SHALL I SHOUT!?? Or shall I whisper so you know what it's like??"

Mrsbobdylan · 19/04/2015 15:55

Yanbu.Unfunny and bloody stupid thing to say in response to being told someone has a hearing loss.

I'm wondering if your friends who make this joke are as insensitive and tedious in other areas of their lives? I can't imagine being told by a friend that something I'd said was upsetting them only to carry bullishly on.

BigChocFrenzy · 19/04/2015 16:06

Fucking disabilism.

I have hearing loss in both ears due to tinnitus and I get comments and impatient huffs sometimes. I'm a bolshy cow and I make it clear that's unacceptable behaviour. It gets tiring though.

I've a visual handicap as well, a bad combination in meetings, but work colleagues are pretty good. Dealing with strangers and officialdom can be a pain, especially on the phone.

Then there is when you are treated like an idiot because you keep asking people to repeat things, even explaining you have a disability.
It's my ears, not my bloody brain.

Or when people talk around you, because it is more convenient than turning to face you and speaking clearly and more loudly.

cleanmyhouse · 19/04/2015 16:06

I get the same. Booooooooooooorrrring! The most unoriginal joke ever.

Original poster
itsmeitscathy · 19/04/2015 16:10

I'm glad it's not Just me, although I already knew that was the case!

On the upside, the next time my otherwise amazing, loving, v nice DP does it and thinks it's hilarious, I'll show him this thread. Don't worry, he genuinely is lovely in every other way so I won't LTB over it!

OP posts:
TwoOddSocks · 19/04/2015 17:21

WTF of course that's not on, who the hell thinks that's funny?

FatherDickByrne · 19/04/2015 17:36

It's crap, isn't it? I told a friend the other day that I was having more & more trouble hearing & she mouthed a sentence at me, waited, mouthed it again, then burst out laughing. I fail to see the joke.

emms1981 · 19/04/2015 17:57

My DS is 8 and has had to wear hearing aids since he was a baby, when I took him out and people would spot his hearing aids they would say "not deaf is he?" No I make him wear them for the sake of it! Fucking idiots.