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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I share this book with my children despite who it's by?

99 replies

DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:13

"Every Picture Tells a Story" is a book about famous paintings with reproductions of a number of interesting and striking examples. The author adds humorous child-friendly commentary, and as he is an artist himself, he adds further sketches and insights (including a few autobiographical details). We've had it for years and I've always thought it a good book to share with children (although my DC seem to have limited interest in the subject Hmm).

Anyway, your eyes have probably jumped straight here to the "punchline", that the author is Rolf Harris - there he is smiling with some children on the cover. In a way, I don't have a problem with it - the work stands on its own whatever horrible things the author has done. But would you just throw it in the bin? The AIBU is: "AIBU to leave a book with RH's face and name on the cover lying around where children will read it, despite its completely innocent content?".

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catgirl1976 · 19/04/2015 14:14

If it's a good book I would let them read it. I let DS listen to Michael Jackson.

bearleftmonkeyright · 19/04/2015 14:23

I would throw it away. We had quite a few wiggles dvds and a couple of them had Rolf Harris in and I chucked them in the bin.

KindergartenKop · 19/04/2015 14:23

Michael Jackson was never convicted of anything...

KindergartenKop · 19/04/2015 14:25

But rh's face isn't going to hurt your children.

Fanfeckintastic · 19/04/2015 14:25

I bin it personally but if it's a great book then tear out his picture? (Thought it would pain me to damage a book under normal circumstances)

FishWithABicycle · 19/04/2015 14:25

Kindergarten neither was Jimmy Saville...

SaucyJack · 19/04/2015 14:26

MJ was never convicted of anything.

No, I don't think it's OK meself. He's a convicted paedophile. I'm sure the book itself is harmless, but it seems wrong to me to be giving any aspect of his life airspace.

PtolemysNeedle · 19/04/2015 14:27

I wouldn't have a problem with sharing it with my children.

mikado1 · 19/04/2015 14:28

I am having the same dilemma with Two Little Boys which I adore and ds loves me singing it to him. I certainly don't rate RH up there with JS and think a lot of men thought/think how he behaved was ok..obviously it wasn't but I suppose I don't think you'd be unreasonable if it's a really good book.
Catgirl mj wasn't actually convicted of anything was he?

Original poster
DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:28

bearleft - why did you throw them away? What harm did you think would come to anyone watching them? Or was it just it made you feel uncomfortable watching them? (I'm not trying to criticise your decision - I can understand your reaction emotionally, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of whether it is logical).

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RitaCrudgington · 19/04/2015 14:30

It's a tricky one. Would you feel the same about other child abusers like William Mayne (fairy tale anthologist) or Marion Zimmer Bradley (fantasy novelist)? I tend to think that the picture on the cover would make me squeamish so I'd bin it out of personal distaste.

Chunkymonkey79 · 19/04/2015 14:31

Whoever that was, why bring MJ into it!?! He was never convicted.

Personally I wouldn't have an issue with the book if the kids enjoy it.

Vivacia · 19/04/2015 14:33

I suppose I don't think you'd be unreasonable if it's a really good book.

What if it was just an ok book? Or a shit book? Do your principles change?

Personally, if I had a book by Rolf Harris that I liked reading and sharing I imagine I would still read and share it.

I'm completely bemused at the reference to His Face.

Original poster
DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:33

mikado - I think you make some fair points, although there a lot of men (me included) who would never think what he did was OK. Nevertheless, he's certainly not on the scale of J Savile, and I guess if I had a children's book with JS's face on it, I probably would bin it because it's quite unsettlingly looking at that odd grin and now knowing how much he did over so many years.

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catgirl1976 · 19/04/2015 14:33

Ok. I let my DS listen to the Rolling Stones, despite Bill Wyman having a relationship with a 13 year old. The music / book is not going to harm anyone.

bearleftmonkeyright · 19/04/2015 14:34

I loved Rolf Harris as a kid and was shocked and disgusted at his actions. Many people my age enjoy sharing things they loved as kids and I thought it was fun to watch RH with the kids. They are a bit old fornthe wiggles now bit his image is tainted for me and I would not want to have to talk about who he is with the kids if at all possible. Hope that makes sense, it really is up to you though, I dont think yabu as such.

Original poster
DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:36

vivacia - well, I mentioned his face, because conceivably in a few years, RH will be out of prison, and could be someone they see and think "oh look there's that nice man who was on that book I used to have as a kid" - OK, that's a bit far-fetched, but a face more than a name reinforces the connection to the person who wrote the book.

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Vivacia · 19/04/2015 14:38

Well, it is far-fetched, but say they do bump in to him in the street and somehow connect that broken old man with the smiling artist from that book mum liked..? Then what?

Original poster
DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:41

bearleft - that makes sense. To be honest, I'm not feeling a big moral dilemma, but I thought if I posted in AIBU, I'd get plenty of debate to see WWYD - and gauge how another parent might react if they saw it in our house. (I know there is a WWYD board but it doesn't look very active).

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RitaCrudgington · 19/04/2015 14:41

It's not going to hurt my children to have the book, but it would upset me to see the picture of an abuser in my child's bedroom, so that's why I'd ditch it. If the book was particularly valuable in some way (eg it was one of the few age-appropriate books on a subject my DC were obsessed with) then I'd grit my teeth and live with it.

MagicMojito · 19/04/2015 14:43

I think I'd keep it. We had a similar situation at home a few weeks ago me and DD1(3) were singing "do you wanna be in my gang" in the kitchen we had been watching spiceworld the movie and dh looks at me likeHmm apparently he felt uneasy about it as it was originally a Garry glitter song.

To me the song (or in your case, book) is not offensive. Yanbu

Vivacia · 19/04/2015 14:44

but it would upset me to see the picture of an abuser in my child's bedroom

I'm asking this in a gentle and sincere way, why?

bearleftmonkeyright · 19/04/2015 14:44

When he is eventually released his image will be back in the media. There may be uncomfortable questions at that point. I think you can't avoid the reality of what he's done with his image. To me the two are inextricably linked.

Original poster
DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:46

Vivacia - that's a good thought-provoking question, and maybe behind it you are suggesting that it would be good for someone to stop RH in the street years from now and despite thinking "what you did was horrible" say "I really enjoyed that book / song / ... you did when I was growing up." That would be a difficult thing to do, but maybe it's the kind of forgiveness our society needs.

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Original poster
DadDadDad · 19/04/2015 14:47

That was answering your earlier question about bumping into him in the street.

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