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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BFF forgot birthday

15 replies

Sussexbelle73 · 19/04/2015 07:58

BF totally forgot my birthday and I was upset about and told her I was upset. She really hates it when people forget her birthday and makes a big deal of it. She has apologised.
Anyway, fast forward a week or so and she called me to tell me that she had got me a present and that I needed to come and collect it. I mentioned that maybe we could go out for dinner and she told me when this has to be to fit in with her calendar as she is busy in the next few weeks.
I'm feeling a little fed up about it all as feel a bit like its all on her terms despite the fact that she forgot my birthday. I actually don't want to go round and collect my present.

AIBU and a bit ridiculously hypersensitive?!?

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 19/04/2015 08:04

I would cut her some slack if your friendship is otherwise balanced and healthy in terms of respect and support you give each other. I know the situation does sound like it's One rule for you, one rule for me, but I tend to view these sorts of things as the ups and downs of friendship. Annoying but maybe not a show stopper.

Hurr1cane · 19/04/2015 08:04

Sorry, I think you are a little bit... It's just a birthday.

Did you do anything nice without her?

Original poster
Sussexbelle73 · 19/04/2015 08:07

I did have a nice family day and we are more like sisters than friends and often I think this is why the small things irritate!

OP posts:
Hathall · 19/04/2015 08:08

I think you are being a bit hypersensitive but I wouldn't go over just to pick up a present.
I would if I'd been invited over for a cuppa but not just to pick up a present!
It's not nice that she forgot, especially if you always remember hers but these things happen and she's apologised but don't dwell on it.
Do you have other friends? Did you do anything for your birthday?

CuttedUpPear · 19/04/2015 08:09

Try reading a few of the threads on here where posters don't have a best friend OP - no one to call or talk to on a day to day basis.

Then remember you're an adult and get some perspective.

dangerrabbit · 19/04/2015 08:18

Was it a big birthday with a 0 on the end?

DinkyDye · 19/04/2015 08:19

Yabu. I don't understand why you would take it so personally? Did you remind her of your birthday?

One of my very close friend never remembers mine. I've even been talking to her on my birthday and she doesn't mention it. Then again nor do l!

For reason l never forget hers, it always just pops into my head on the right date Smile

Pancakeflipper · 19/04/2015 08:23

If she's not a serial forgetter then give her break and understand that her life is busy at the moment and it might not be happy busy.

wigglesrock · 19/04/2015 08:30

God you really want to make her work don't you? She forgot your birthday, you told her you were upset, she apologised, has bought a present, has said she can meet for dinner but she has a busy few weeks coming up so will have to try and fit it in - surely that's what most people do when they're fitting something in?

Mrsbobdylan · 19/04/2015 08:44

I think you need to be careful you don't 'over punish'-she apologised for forgetting your birthday and it seems like you can't let the bad feeling go. It's reasonable for her to tell you when she can fit dinner in, especially if she's busy ATM.

I assume picking the present up from her's is because you normally go past her house or some such arranement?Or is she being a bit entitled?

Satsumafairy · 19/04/2015 08:49

I think you should let it go op. These things happen, life gets busy etc. Annoying that she is so fussy about her own birthday though!!!

magoria · 19/04/2015 10:06

I agree with you OP. If she makes her own birthday such a big deal if people forget it she should expect the same.

What she is telling you is that her birthday (she) is more important and don't you dare forget whereas your birthday (you) isn't so you can just fit in as and when.

catgirl1976 · 19/04/2015 10:58

Unless it was your 11th birthday, YABVU

It's just a birthday. She apologised and she's got you a present. Let it go.

sunbathe · 19/04/2015 11:23

What's happened when someone's forgotten her birthday?

Gruntfuttock · 19/04/2015 11:34

I would only expect a child to feel as you do, OP, not an adult.

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