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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my hairstyle has nothing to do with work?

47 replies

moonvisit · 18/04/2015 09:39

I don't have a Mohican or vivid colours. It's dark blonde, worn straight and comes to my shoulders. Side parting with a fringe.

I can't even remember how it came about but I mentioned I wash my hair every day. This is partly due to exercise and partly due to the nature of my job (carer). Colleague started commenting then saying 'it's because you're always messing with it' (I'm not!) if you wore it up in a bun or a ponytail you wouldn't need to keep washing it.' I just more or less ignored this.

Then on the next shift she handed me a hair bobble and said I'd feel different! I politely said no and added that clips and bands and ties give me a headache (they do - not sure why!) I was then told to 'take two paraceatamol - some down there!' I am very against taking medication when you don't need to and said so (not quite as strongly as this.) She huffed but let the subject drop.

The problem is she keeps commenting to people about my 'awful' hair - and so as many people we see are elderly they keep going on about it as well. I am just getting sick of the comments.

Reading through this I can honestly see how you might think I have mad crazy hair but I don't! It's clean, it's tidy, most people say how nice it is!

I suppose I'm venting/ranting more than asking if I'm BU! (By the way colleague is not superior to me in any way!)

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 18/04/2015 10:05

On the fence. She sounds rude but you are working in a role where tied back hair is the professional norm.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 18/04/2015 10:06

Does your hair touch the collar? Because if it does, it shouldn't.
When you bend, does it come over your face/eyes?
Swishy hair is a no no basically.

Artistic · 18/04/2015 10:07

Yanbu. I get a headache if I wear any band in my hair & despite being very long & thick I have to leave my hair open. Even if am hot & need it out of the way I don't have a choice. I do envy people who can tie up their hair (including my DD). But my hair is my best feature so can't complain much I guess. Just wear your hair the way it works for you, it's impossible to get others to understand why.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 18/04/2015 10:14

I'm a carer and wash my hair after every shift. Hygienic, innit? Nothing to do with fiddling with it.

She sounds jealous of your nice hair.

And a bit minging.

binspin · 18/04/2015 10:21

You got poo in your hair?

Should be tied up then.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 18/04/2015 10:21

It is totally normal for anyone working in nursing, caring, catering etc to have it tied back if it's longer than collar length, so presumably it just 'looks wrong' to your colleagues. However if your management doesn't have any problem with it then it's not their place to keep commenting. If clients were complaining then that would be different.

Black2catsgreen4eyes · 18/04/2015 10:22

How would poo in hair have been prevented by it being tied up?

Lj8893 · 18/04/2015 10:26

If your hair is long enough to get poo in then it is certainly long enough to put in a ponytail, even if you have to put a couple of clips in too.

I have long hair but still need to put clips in, it would take a very long, all one length hairstyle to not need some sort of clip as well as a hair tie.

Lj8893 · 18/04/2015 10:27

I can only imagine poo getting into hair because it it hanging down in the way. If it was up, it wouldn't be doing that.

2rebecca · 18/04/2015 10:27

Surely you get poo in your hair because your hair is dangling in the poo? In that case having hair tied up so it doesn't dangle in the poo would have helped, or not putting your face that near it.

moonvisit1 · 18/04/2015 10:29

Thanks for comments. It's very strange but I was suddenly logged out and couldn't get back in again - baffled - anyway had to re register. Hope that doesn't happen again!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes - it's just the one colleague. No one else has said a word and I doubt they would either, it just isn't an issue.

Company policy is that any complaints made by clients are passed onto office so I would be made aware.

My hair being tied up wouldn't have stopped the poo: a lady in a hoist was having her bottom wiped by me and unfortunately she couldn't wait and I didn't move in time. No ones fault: just one of those things :) That's only happened once in over a year of doing this job!

Also I've twice left or tried to but been asked to stay - my managers like me I think :)

I think whoever said she was controlling is right, if it wasn't my hair it'd be something else. I'm very different to a lot of the other carers and no one else has a problem with it as we are all different but some people just don't like it I find :)

CaspianSea · 18/04/2015 10:31

You're a carer and should be wearing your hair tied back for infection control reasons!! All healthcare professionals who provide personal care (eg toileting) need to have hair off their collar! I'm surprised your manager hasn't said anything. If you worked in a hospital you wouldn't get away with having it loose on your shoulders!!

Don't you think it's unhygienic and unprofessional to have long loose hair when you're providing personal care to people? If you bend forward hair can trail on people (spreading infections) and if you keep touching it or pushing it back you're transferring bacteria. How would you feel if you were in hospital and all the nurses and healthcare assistants had their hair loose? Or a chef in a restaurant had loose hair?

You need to look tidy, professional and hygienic in your line of work. If you truly find it too painful to put your hair up, find a different job! I recommend twisting it into a neat bun and securing with clips.

binspin · 18/04/2015 10:34

Everything Caspian said.

you're working in a profession where having tied up isn't about how it looks.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 18/04/2015 10:39

I got poo on my forehead once.

No one mentioned it. Just happened to wash my hands in a sink with a mirror above it. And noticed it.

Poo spreads regardless of what you do.

Oldraver · 18/04/2015 10:45

FGS...How man times does the OP have to say her hair isnt long enough to be tied back.

I woud rather have the OP's washed everday hair than the dirty buggers like the OP's dementor who think putting hair back is an alternative to washing

CaspianSea · 18/04/2015 11:07

I don't see how hair can be shoulder length but not long enough to tie back! You need to tie back what you can and use clips for the rest. Rubber clips are soft and don't snag or pull if this is what you find painful. Or get a soft Alice band and use it to hold all the hair back off your face, putting what you can in a ponytail.

I work in an acute hospital (I'm a physio) and every profession including mine has the 'off the collar rule' for hair. That means if your hair is long enough to touch your collar it must be clipped or tied back. This is to protect patients from infections being carried from one patient to another. If your hair is loose you're more likely to touch it. OP mentioned she has to tuck hers behind her ears. If you touch your hair when you're in middle of washing someone, changing their pad or even you have touched an item they have touched, you could be transferring bacteria from hand to hair. Do this with next person and you could transfer it to them. This is how superbugs like MRSA and potentially fatal bugs like c-diff get spread. Presumably OP is visiting people in own homes. Even if she washes and sterilises hands (which she should) she is still potentially spreading bacteria on her hair. Many people unconsciously touch their hair and push it back which is why the 'off the collar' rule exists.
And when you are bending forward to wash and dress someone or wipe them, it's easy for loose hair to brush against them or items near them. Infectious diseases (even mild ones like Norovirus that don't harm healthy adults) kill lots of elderly people every yessir and transmission can be prevented by following infection control guidelines.

Also she is probably doing food prep as well as personal care and may also be changing dressings. You do not want hairs coming out and falling in food, wounds or incontinence pads!

BTW washing your hair daily in this type of job is the norm.

When I was a student I used to be a carer for an agency, working in different care homes. Every place I have ever worked had the rule 'hair must be off the collar'.

The fact patients have also commented on OPs hair suggests they too find the style inappropriate for this line of work.

Being a carer is not about how you look, it's about having a hairstyle that is off the collar, professional and does not put patients at increased risk of catching an infection. Sorry, but patient safety comes before personal style choice and your personal comfort.

BaronessBomburst · 18/04/2015 11:09

I think the only thing that would work with your length hair would be to put in into an onion top.
The downsides are you'd definitely get a headache, and you need to be younger than 3 in order to pull it off.

LastUnicorn · 18/04/2015 11:15

I used to do home care, poo can get everywhere! My colleague once had poo in her eye (the old lady had explosive diarrhea) so it's easy to see how it could end up in short hair.
Do you have a supervisor you could have a quiet word with? It's very inappropriate of your colleGue to tell you off in front of clients, the focus should be on them not you

AlpacaPicnic · 18/04/2015 11:28

But the colleague isn't telling op that she needs to wear it up for hygiene reasons, or because it's a rule of the job... She is telling her that if she wore it up, then she wouldn't 'need to keep washing it'. If it was a rule, then it is up to the ops manager to address it as such.

I'd love to wash my hair everyday, some people just do. Sadly I cannot as my hair is very thick, quite long and frizzed like a puffball if it even glimpses a hairdryer. So I have to wash on alternate days.

CaspianSea · 18/04/2015 12:19

Alpaca I agree the colleague's approach is a bit odd and no need to say it looks awful, but she is right to tell her to tie/clip it up. She told the OP she keeps 'messing with it' which OP is probably doing unconsciously.

laughingcow13 · 18/04/2015 13:46

I think the colleague thinks the OP's hairstyle is inappropriate for her role and is trying to find a nicer , less offensive way of saying it ie without using words 'unprofessional' or 'unhygienic'

VenusRising · 22/04/2015 01:26

This isn't about your hair at all OP and the sooner your report this bullying from this insecure and slandering colleague the better.

Report her to your manager for inappropriate behaviour ASAP.

Again, this is nothing to do with your hair, just your colleague feeling put out about you showing her up or something. She's a frenemy, so watch out.

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