...to be sick of this election - can we just vote, and get it over with?

[DameCatrionaSnidelyGoads]

It's all foreplay and no coitus at the moment!

Do we always have to have nearly six weeks of twatting about before we put an 'X' in box?

Not sure I can bear another THREE weeks of it....

"Darling, standing down, Darling?"

"Of course Darling!"

"Since November last year you say, Darling?"

"Quite right too, Darling."

His friends in the City and the No campaign have had a whip round and bought him a yacht.

Ooh, and I'd forgotten all about Anas Sarwar, he's gone awfully quiet of late too, hasn't he?

It's my birthday on the 8th May, I'm looking forward to a good one.