I nearly posted on this topic the other day. My ex DH has never paid a penny towards DD (18 this year) since he left when I was pregnant, and has had no contact with her for most of that (since she was five, and then only begrudgingly and at an hour a time, every few months. Ex DH lives overseas, amazing job, trophy wife, two children (I only know this as I have always kept in contact with ex MIL who is no longer in contact with him either. I have no DH or significant other and don't know anyone is my situation. BUT I do have plenty of friends whose entire conversation focuses on maintenance, court appearances, holiday "rights" etc.
I feel lucky that I have always worked full time and do not need his money, that I know where DD will be over holidays/Christmas and that we are very close. However ..... a couple of weeks ago DD had an email from ex DH (email address provided by his MIL to his sister) in which he expressed a desire to re-establish contact with her. She asked me to read it and to give my views. I feel that this would be unfair, as my instinctive view is that his very name makes me curl up inside. I want it to be her choice. He left me because I refused to have an abortion or to have her adopted (oh and she was very much planned), refused to be on her birth certificate (I put him on anyway) and there have been no phone calls, birthday cards, enquiries as to her well being over the (nearly) 18 years.
AIBU not to want anything to do with him? I don't want to regret anything later on and, biologically, he is after all her father. Confused.