To worry about my sons weight

[cleanmyhouse]

I have 2 sons, both very different shapes.

The eldest, nearly 14 is the gangly all arms and legs type. He hit puberty and shot up, he's almosy 6ft now with not an inch of fat anywhere on his body. He takes after his Dad.

The youngest, just past 12 is in the midst of puberty now. Smelly, getting hairy, you know how it goes. He's started to put a bit of weight on around his belly and thighs. He's a completely different shape to his brother, shorter and broader in frame, but has never carried any weight either. He takes after my side of the family.

His appetite is huge at the moment, as was his brothers at the same stage, but he seems to be growing out instead of up as his brother did.

They have pretty healthy diets, I have a loose 70/30 rule about healthy home made stuff and more processed stuff served with fresh veg and salad. The youngest is pretty active, much more so than his older brother.

I'm finding myself noticing how much he eats and trying to curb it in a way i never did with his brother when he was at the same stage.

I guess I'm wondering if him putting on weight is more normal for his body type and that his height will start catching up. I know I'm basing things on his brother and a completely different body type.

My mum has been really conscious about my weight since I was small, I was never fat as a child but was the biggest of my peers, in height and frame. She was petite. When I hit puberty, she was always on at me. I was a healthy size 12. I'm really conscious of not doing the same thing to my son.

Is it normal for boys to put on a bit of weight when they hit puberty before they start growing upwards?

I think most kids (even small ones!) grow out then up. Stick to healthy eating habits but let him eat 4-5 small meals a day as opposed to the 3 big ones.

First off yanbu to be concerned. You are a parent, that's what we do.

Its entirely possible he will grow several inch soon and all that will disappear. Its hard to tell. If you think he has a healthy diet then jus keep an eye on him for a while longer.

The only thing I would be mindful of, Is what is he eating when you aren't there. If he has access to money for much at school, do you know what he is eating. Alot of my school friends put in weight in the first couple of years at secondary, purely due to the cafe style lunches at school. Chip butties were the cheapest option so people used to buy that then have money left for chocolate etc.

At this age its difficult to know exactly what their diet is like when they aren't with you.

I know they eat less healthy stuff at lunchtimes, not always, but some days its a sausage roll, some days a sandwich which is why i'm much more mindful of what they're eating when they're at home.

Thanks for your answers.

I'll have a think about the 5 smaller meals. I try to say to him to wait a bit if he's looking for seconds and if he's still hungry later he can have something. he gets a bit huffy with me.

My brother was like this. He was a very lean child, started gaining weight at puberty and became pretty stocky and muscular through rugby training but by the time he was 16 it was obviously that he was finished growing and he never balanced out. He's almost 19, 5' 10" if he's lucky and is, frankly, quite fat. My mum tried to control what he ate but he just spent his pocket money on rubbish and it got a lot worse when he discovered beer.

I'm also quite fat though, so judgement from me!

I'm not judging either.

I should have said that i'm not the healthy size 12 i was in my teens, more a healthyish size 16, quite happy with my size now, but it took me a while to get here after my mothers attitude towards my size.

I don't want him struggling and particulary don't want to do to him what my mum did to me.