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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just moved in and neighbour already complaining

33 replies

Jasmine2233 · 17/04/2015 11:18

Well i haven't moved my stuff yet, i will this Monday.
I went to the property yesterday and i was cleaning the window and the elderly man from downstairs rang my bell to tell me i was walking to loud. I showed him there is no flooring and i will not have money for another 2months to get flooring. He then started complaining about the last woman here and her kids.
I do have a 17month old but i didn't tell him because i wasn't looking for an argument i was trying to clean!

Went there again today and as soon as i pulled my car up he came outside asking if i needed help, i said no then he made some excuse trying to follow me inside then kept talking.

I had to leave because he wouldn't leave! He kept talking about the man above me who apparently is a "bendy bus" person as he put it and the last woman
Wtf why does he think i care!

I haven't even moved my stuff yet, I'm trying to decorate before i move in but this guy is to friendly its irritating!

I also went through DV thats why i live in social housing and i don't like people i don't know in my flat or knowing my business or around my lil girl, she is also scared of strangers. Im really not a friendly type of neighbour, i like to be left alone.
In regards to the flooring i am going to get good installation, I'm not an arsehole but its like i cannot even breath without this guy complaining.

Maybe i am dramatic, it has only been two days but tbh I'm dreading when my baby gets here and he complains about her walking and stuff. I just cant afford flooring now.

What should i do? How do i handle this?
Aibu?

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 17/04/2015 11:20

WTF is a 'bendy bus' person?

Original poster
Jasmine2233 · 17/04/2015 11:21

I think it means disabled but he was trying to be nasty because he clearly doesnt like the guy

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 17/04/2015 11:22

If you don't have the right flooring and there is a noise problem because of the building's structure, it's probably in your best interest to befriend the neighbours and indulge bendy bus (wtaf) chat.

Jackieharris · 17/04/2015 11:22

  1. don't answer your door

  2. try to get flooring ASAP- there are carpet recycling places here, maybe look for something like that?

BuzzardBird · 17/04/2015 11:23

My neighbour did this when I moved in but the good news is it's been years and she doesn't bother anymore. I think some people are just really nosey when you move in and want all the gossip to pass on. Tell him you killed someone, he will have his gossip and will give you a wide berth afterwards Grin

Theycallmemellowjello · 17/04/2015 11:23

Oh right x-post - I didn't mean indulge disablist chat! I just mean have a bit of a chat in the corridor and be friendly. No need to invite him in or be best friends.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2015 11:23

Oh dear

It sounds as though you're going to have to start making a diary of his complaints/comments, just in case you need it further down the line.

RebootYourEngine · 17/04/2015 11:23

What you do is ignore ignore ignore. He sounds like the type of person who will moan about everything.

BuzzardBird · 17/04/2015 11:26

If that is his idea of how to speak about a disabled person I would definitely tell him you murdered someone. What a nasty git. :( I would take no prisoners with him.

fackinell · 17/04/2015 11:27

Be 'on your phone' every single time you arrive at your new home. If he tries to talk just point to the phone and whisper 'it's an important call.' If he tries to come in say 'I don't mean to be rude but I do like my privacy.' Just take shoes of until you can get some carpets or start complaining back every time he closes a door, flushes a loo. He'll get the message. Probably just lonely but if you start letting him in and getting into conversations you will never ever get rid!

Welshmaenad · 17/04/2015 11:29

I suspect that by 'bendy bus' he means gay.

He sounds charming Hmm

You're just going to have to ignore him.

BubGal13 · 17/04/2015 11:29

Not great to describe yourself as, and see yourself as “not a friendly type of neighbour” btw!
Setting yourself up for a fall already. But yes, I’d be bit on edge if already had a complainer and then a serious nosey-parker sticking his nose in.
Maybe he was trying to make amends by asking re. helping you bring stuff in, that was fine and nice.

But when he followed you, you should’ve stopped at the door, allowed him to talk for few mins while nodding, smiling a bit but not keeping conversation going, and then saying " I’ve got a lot of stuff to be getting on with, oh dear… thanks for your help, have a good day" and close door.

I’m a private person too and sometimes have to force myself to make chit-chat/engage/be social. But you always feel better for doing so.

Always be pleasant and friendly, just don’t let him in, don’t let him into your flat, sometimes if you see him just wave, say ‘hi ‘ smile but keep walking etc…and don’t tell him too many details about your life. But, be nice (unless he complains again).

SunnyBaudelaire · 17/04/2015 11:32

you need to be really icy and firm with this person and put him right off.
I would think that 'bendy bus' means gay.

BoredAdminGirl · 17/04/2015 11:32

Similar thing happened when I moved into my place. The guy upstairs would constantly be knocking and asking if I need any help with anything, asking if I'm single. He would come in then stay for ages. In the end I would either not answer the door or answer with literally just my head showing and always be busy.

It will wear off

SunnyBaudelaire · 17/04/2015 11:35

be very wary of over friendly people, they are often not really 'friendly' at all.

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 17/04/2015 11:36

Did he not mean 'the driver of a bendy bus'? That's what I would assume. (Those extra long buses that bend in the middle)

wanttosqueezeyou · 17/04/2015 11:39

I'd have to clarify the 'bendy bus' thing with him.

And basically show him the door.

I’m a private person too and sometimes have to force myself to make chit-chat/engage/be social. But you always feel better for doing so.

I doubt that would be the case with this man.

emotionsecho · 17/04/2015 11:49

Is this a normal occurrence that Council flats come without flooring, this is the second thread I've read in the space of two days where this is the case?

expatinscotland · 17/04/2015 11:51

Yes, it is normal for council homes to come with no flooring.

Reluctantlandlord · 17/04/2015 11:55

I would assume a bendy bus person was someone who drove a bendy bus! Is this wrong? I've never heard it used as an insult for anything.

I'm wary of over friendly people. They are usually either sinister or very nosey.

SaucyJack · 17/04/2015 11:56

Just ignore him and don't worry about trying to be polite. He isn't.

Have you got a big throw you can put down as rug in the interim to make it nicer for yourselves as much as anything? Dunelm Mill and a Primark do them very cheaply.

Emotions- no council properties come with flooring.

EponasWildDaughter · 17/04/2015 11:57

To be fair he only actually ''complained'' once. That was about the noise due to the lack of flooring in your flat. Which is fair enough tbh.

The second time he approached you it was to ask if you needed help and to chat. He sounds lonely. You've admitted you're not a friendly type - i think you're misinterpreting his intentions.

Yes, he sounds like he could become a bit of a pain, but you just need to handle the situation correctly. There are a lot of lonely elderly folk these days sadly. A few words and a smile when you see him with steady progress into your house and a cheery goodbye before closing the door is all you need to do.

I understand because i don't like overly social neighbours. It will be good for your DD to see you being friendly but dealing assertivley with strangers.

emotionsecho · 17/04/2015 11:58

Thanks expat.

rebelfor · 17/04/2015 12:00

Fuck there are a lot of people around who have people breathing down their necks about having no flooring in their properties.

On MN, though, no-one I've met personally.

Original poster
Jasmine2233 · 17/04/2015 12:00

Oh bendy bus means gay, i was thinking wtf when he said it. I dont understand why he would think that would put me off someone? How strange. Defiantly weary of him.

Its a housing association property and apparently no flooring is normal. They are going to give me a fund as i only work part time so at least i can get my lil girls room floored asap

OP posts:
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