Oh Crap. Looks I have just turned 40. Why do I still feel like a twenty-something who hasn't got it together?

[Rainbunny]

Just this really. Not at all prepared to be the age I am as of today. I don't feel as though I have reached the place in life that I should have by this age. I was totally unfazed by this approaching birthday as I don't generally pay much attention to my birthdays. Then I woke up this morning and started an internal inventory of my life suddenly out of nowhere. This is why I hate "landmark" dates.

It's just a number. You were happy at 39, be happy at 39+1.
I have embraced turning 40, i am not as financially secure as I thought I would be at this age, I am a single parent and that was never my plan, I would have loved more children than I have and would love to loose half a stone!
However I am now dating a really nice guy, I have fabulous friends, an amicable relationship with my ex, my children are my world and I accept my lot!
Have no regrets and start planning some fun things that celebrate where you are in your life!

Addicted2cake - Thank you for your wisdom! I know all of these things but somehow this bloody birthday has got me thinking about the other paths in life I could have taken. Probably doesn't help that I've been ttc for 2 years now and the minor interventions haven't worked, so now looks like it's the full on IVF process for us.

I have no self pity, I love my life and my wonderful dh. It's just this stupid number 40 that has me suddenly comparing my life and status to others... I'm giving myself 24 hours and this thread to indulge my wistfulness at what I haven't yet done by age 40. Then I will suck it up and embrace!

I'm in my 60s and only realise that I'm old when I look in the mirror.
The 60 birthday made me realise I haven't got that may active years left.

I turned 40 last autumn, and still feel, despite the responsible job, mortgage, DC almost into double digits, DH, rainy day fund built up and having owned my own car - that I am not an adult with adult responsibilities.

But I am and manage them well. The funny thing is that we've found a babysitter (well 2 - a pair of sisters who can do different nights around their social lives!!!) - who first sat for us on my Birthday party night - and DH and I are starting to get out again for fun, DD is getting independent and happier to do things as a family recently, and I have been to a few work nights out recently too (was confined to barracks due to DH's travel for a few years) - so I am probably more free and irresponsible in a way than I was in my 20s, as now I understand my limits more, and also have the funds to indulge myself a little too!!

Enjoy the birthday - and see it as an opening to the next stage, definitely not a sign that you are closing off anything!!!

I'm the same at 47. I hope to still be the same at 87.

I'm heading fast towards 50 and I find it really hard to accept that I'm that old - I still feel as I did in my early 30s, even though my DC are growing up and leaving home. On the downside, some great times are now definitely behind me (the sense of adventure that came with starting out on married life, the DC being small and cute) and I'm not as physically resilient as I used to be (slightly dodgy back...) The pluses are that I have more free time and independence, we are more financially secure and I have a better perspective on life.

Some of my friends are significantly older than I am. One is in her late 70s and I have known her since she was younger than I am now. I go riding with her once or twice a month - I don't mean pottering through the woods, I mean on full-on dressage work in the school, cantering 15m circles, that sort of thing. She also active in the local community, forever finding out new things. It makes me realise that 50, 60 and 70 aren't cut-off points: you can carry on being active and inquisitive until you drop.

OP, I have really enjoyed my 40s so far - I hope you do too. Good luck with the ttc. Just because you haven't done things by 40 it doesn't mean you can't do them in the future: you've probably got another 40 years ahead of you - enjoy!

It's how everyone feels. One of the great secrets adults don't tell kids is that we're all bluffing it. Nobody really knows what they are doing, we just muddle through and hope for the best.

Kid's right, it's all a big bluff, I'm still pretending to be a grown up, and I'm 48 soon.

What they said. No one has a clue.

I'm 40 next year. I don't feel like a proper grown up either!

Rainbunny just wanted to add that I too had IVF so know it's tough. Wishing you all the best with it.

I turned 61 this year. I don't feel older than late 20's, but unfortunately my mirror confirms that I am indeed in my 60's.

On a weirder note, I have been a nail-biter all my life, although I was never aware of actually biting my nails at any time, just that they were always short and obviously bitten if you know what I mean. Anyway, at the ripe old age of 61 I now have lovely long nails, which is something I never thought I would have. What's weird about that is that, just as I was never aware of biting my nails, I haven't been conscious of not biting them either. I mean, these long nails have just appeared as if by magic. What a pity that my hands are now very obviously old and with huge misshapen joints due to arthritis. So I still haven't got nice hands!

I remember when i was about 15, working out how old i'd be in the year 2000 (for the big new millenia party you understand).

When i'd done the sum i was very disappointed. Upset even. I hoped, in fact, that i would actually be dead by then - so old, ugly, decrepit and generally a waste of space everyone is by that age.

How old was i in 2000?

32!!

I am happy to say that i am still alive and am nowhere near decrepit. I would cheerfully go back and twat my stupid 15 year old self round the head if that were possible

Landmark birthdays are a useful reminder that you're not going to live forever. I'll be 60 next year and I do think about it and try and use it positively.

Late 50s here and I don't like looking at myself in the mirror as I feel a lot younger than I look.
I'm not sure if I look my age or older these days as I have let my hair go grey but I went to the hairdresser today and mentioned that I had taken EARLY retirement, just in case, so that I wouldn't be offered OAP rate.
That would have been embarrassing...
Anyway, if 60 is supposed to be middle-aged now then 40 is positively youthful.