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AIBU?

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Original poster

To give up my HA house and move into private rental?

44 replies

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 16/04/2015 23:09

I don't know what to do. I was lucky enough to get a HA house in a lovely little town with great schools 1.5 years ago. I only managed to get it because I was escaping DV. I was really chuffed, especially as renting privately before I had had to move 10 times in 10 years, which was horrible for the dc.

However, I hate it here. The NDNs on one side own their house and they are a nightmare. They are both alcoholics, and the woman is really abusive and I've had run ins with her. Their house and garden is a right shit pit, and they have 3 large savage looking dogs who are left alone in the house a lot and bark constantly, it drives me nuts. I don't think reporting them would be a good idea as the woman is a nutter who has been banned from all the pubs locally for decking people.

The neighbours on the other side are ok but they have started a new thing of yelling at each other for hours every night which is not nice to live next door to with thin walls

I have looked into exchanging but I would need to stay very close because of the kids being settled in school, so there are not many people who would want to swap. Also, with the state of the house next door I think anyone would be put off swapping.

If I went back on the list I would only be entitled to get a 2 bed as the rules have changed since I moved here. My eldest had a bladder problem and regularly wets the bed so it would be really disruptive for my other dd to share. Also there is a big age gap between them and my eldest would be entitled to her own room in a couple of years.

I really don't want to give up the security I have and can't really afford to rent privately (I'm a student) but I am suffering badly with depression and living here isn't helping. Has anyone got any bright ideas of ways to get out of this situation?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/04/2015 23:14

Are both of your kids girls?

If so, I'd go for the 2 bedroom place anyway. Tons of kids share with older/younger siblings and learn to adjust to disturbance.

For example I shared a room with my sister and yet I walked and talked in my sleep on a regular basis.

Equally when she was old enough to go clubbing, I learned to cope with her coming home late at night.

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 16/04/2015 23:22

They are both girls but my eldest would actually go and live with her dad if I said they had to share. She is being tested for autism at the moment, her room is her bolt hole and she wouldn't be able to cope without it. She goes apeshit if dd2 even sets foot inside her room. It would be like living in a warzone. Dd2 is a chaos merchant, there is no way she would keep her paws off of dd1's things.

OP posts:
Wigglebummunch · 16/04/2015 23:26

If go for the 2 bedroom if possible and get a sofa bed.

I think it's daft giving up social housing unless you are buying a house.

Wigglebummunch · 16/04/2015 23:27

I'd not if.

Pico2 · 16/04/2015 23:29

Could you share with DD2?

AntiHop · 16/04/2015 23:30

It's really tough having difficult neighbours. But if you rent privately there's no guarantee that you won't have difficult neighbours again. I really feel for you as there's no easy answer. But there are so many possible problems with private rental. I wouldn't give up a ha tenancy.

CountingThePennies · 16/04/2015 23:32

If you can afford it then i would rent privately.

You cant compromise on your mental health

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 16/04/2015 23:34

Hmm yes a sofa bed could be an option I guess. As long as I could find one that didn't feel like sleeping on a grill rack like every sofa bed I've ever slept on!

I have a bf who stays over once or twice a week so not sure where i'd put dd2 then if I shared with her!

OP posts:
Galrick · 16/04/2015 23:38

You do know the government's going to start offering free money to buy your HA house? Would you be able to get a mortgage?

Leaving that aside as I violently disapprove of it, you can swap with someone else. Ring up your HA, they'll have details of the websites for it.

I also recommend reporting bolshy neighbour to the HA, and having a quiet word with the woman next door as it sounds like something's going badly wrong there - if she needs support, she could try a thread in Relationships here!

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2015 23:43

The bolshy neighbours own their house Galrick

OP, I would do exhaust all other avenues before giving up your HA tenancy I really would.

Once you've done that, at least you'll be assured by the fact you had no other choice.

And if it turns out your DD does have autism, you need to think of how potentially moving from private rent to private rent every year, might affect her.

I feel for you Sad

Galrick · 16/04/2015 23:44

I'm sorry, you said you'd looked into exchanging.

I've just moved from privately rented to HA, and cannot believe how lovely the HA is by comparison with most private landlords. I know there are some good ones but they're pretty rare.

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 16/04/2015 23:45

I am not in a position to get a mortgage and I don't think the right to buy thing is morally ok anyway.

The HA can't touch the woman next door as they are not HA tenants.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/04/2015 23:46

'You do know the government's going to start offering free money to buy your HA house?'

That's a Tory party manifesto. Meaning they might do if they get in as a majority.

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 16/04/2015 23:47

Thanks worra :)

And you're right galrick, the security of a HA home is great, and no inspections or any of that nonsense to deal with.

OP posts:
Galrick · 16/04/2015 23:47

They own their house, but I assumed they're still on HA land. And OP is the HA's tenant, so they have a duty to keep her safe and better resources to throw at problems. I'm not saying they could magically resolve the situation but they have done so in my mum's village, and in any case it's daft not to try.

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2015 23:50

I suppose that would depend on whether it's freehold or leasehold land?

I don't know but I really don't think the HA would get involved with home owners.

Maybe they might though, so yes it's worth trying.

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 16/04/2015 23:57

I have tried, and it was a firm no :(

OP posts:
Ratfinkandbobo · 17/04/2015 00:02

Has your HA gotca welfare officer?
If so meet with them and detail what is happening and see if they may move you.
Due to your circumstances and your dds assessment, you nay be considered as vulnerable. I wish you all the best.

Ratfinkandbobo · 17/04/2015 00:02

Excuse typos!

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/04/2015 00:09

I'm not sure ratfink. I'll give them a call tomorrow and ask, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/04/2015 00:12

I also recently found out that the previous tenants of my house moved because of the nightmare neighbours, and the shouty neighbours are in the process of exchanging because of the dogs barking too, even though they have my house as a buffer.

OP posts:
MidnightDinosaur · 17/04/2015 00:22

If you have a 3 bed property then definitely look at doing an exchange to a 2 bed. There will be loads of people in 2 beds wanting/needing an extra bedroom so you should find someone willing to swap regardless of what the next door neighbours garden looks like.

Then go from there. You might be able to find a 2 bed with seperate dining room you can use as a bedroom, or like someone up thread suggested, give the dd's a room each and get yourself a sofa bed in the lounge. We had to sleep on a sofa bed for a year. It wasn't great by itself but we bought a memory foam mattress topper for it and it was fine.

If where you are living now is affecting your health then this is probably the easiest way to get out of there.

Good Luck.

WomanScorned · 17/04/2015 00:36

Hi,
I did just this, eventually, to escape from my nightmare neighbours. I thought long and hard about it as, as you say, the security is there.
I was lucky enough to find a long term private rent by word of mouth.
I sold everything I owned to raise the deposit and share a bedroom with DS.
Then, after 3 months of bliss, I got new neighbours. Drug dealers. And learned that the old neighbours are both in jail, now. So I could have stayed...
Not sure what my point is, really, other than that there's no guarantee you won't still end up with shit neighbours. One thing, tho - the private landlord managed to get rid of the dealers by not renewing their tenancy, whereas the HA couldn't do much about the old ones (until they stabbed someone else, as opposed to just each other).
This was def. the right move for us, but only because the landlord is so great and there's no huge agency fees.
Good luck :)

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 17/04/2015 00:46

I don't think the right to buy thing is morally ok anyway.

I think it's a terrible policy, but I also think on an individual level you can't blame those who take it up for wanting a better life. So if it's best for your family, worth considering.

taxi4ballet · 17/04/2015 00:46

The HA might not be able to help, but you could maybe try your local council instead, and report the constantly barking dogs and the antisocial homeowner next door.

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