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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend changing plans to suit her dh

26 replies

Confusedfuzz · 16/04/2015 22:39

Me and my friend have a night out planned on Saturday, to save on taxis the arrangement was made that my boyfriend would take us into town and her husbabd would pick is up. Boyfriend has turned down overtime to take us.

Friend messaged me tonight saying Her dh can take us now, so to get boyfriend to just drop me at hers.

Aibu to say no? I told her that boyfriend is losing money and was spending late after noon with me anyway.

Apparently her husband will be there in the house before we leave which I didn't know, and he doesn't want to have to wait with boyfriend, so now he's kicking off and saying he doesn't want her to go out?!

It's a 60 mile round trip for boyfriend, and as her husband has to take their 6 yo son out of bed to pick us up at 3am, I thought he would lighten the load.

Boyfriend offered to pick up, but apparently the dh would rather pick up.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 16/04/2015 22:43

Her husband would have to take their 6 year old son out of bed to pick you up at 3 am?

Can't you go somewhere nearer? It sounds selfish of both of you and her, to be honest.

strawberry01 · 16/04/2015 22:45

I don't understand the difference if your boyfriend drops you at hers rather than in town? Surely he would have to pick her up anyways so by not dropping you both in town he's saving himself a extra bit of driving? Or was she supposed to come to yours first then your boyfriend take you both into town Confused ?

DoJo · 16/04/2015 22:47

I'm not sure I understand the problem - her husband now wants to do the drop off andpick up? Why would he have had to wait with your boyfriend?

AyeAmarok · 16/04/2015 22:47

That sounds like a pointless arrangement.

Is her husband a controlling prick? He sounds it.

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2015 22:48

I don't understand the 'waiting with boyfriend' thing?

And I've read it 4 times Blush

Satsumafairy · 16/04/2015 22:49

Sorry, why will he have to wait with boyfriend?

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2015 22:49

But also it makes no sense why your boyfriend would lose money in overtime, just so you and your mate can save money on a taxi?

Griphook · 16/04/2015 22:49

Was your bf going to stay with the other dh when your out? Tbh I don't really understand what difference it makes who takes you into town. As long as it's saving cab money

Original poster
Confusedfuzz · 16/04/2015 22:50

Ah ignore it all. It's all sorted lol panic over ;)

OP posts:
liveloveluggage · 16/04/2015 22:50

I don't think you should be getting a 6yr old up at 3am to pick you up. Esp if your bf is willing to pick you up.

Original poster
Confusedfuzz · 16/04/2015 22:54

No nor do I, but her dh likes to make sure she isn't doing something she shouldn't be

OP posts:
liveloveluggage · 16/04/2015 22:56

I agree he sounds controlling and a bit weird.

FarFromAnyRoad · 16/04/2015 22:56

So he is a controlling dick then?

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2015 23:01

Just fuck the pair of them off and go out independently.

If you can't afford taxis, go somewhere a bit closer to home.

No 6yr old should be taken out of bed and driven to pick up a parent from a night out.

No way would I let this happen with my kids, and no way would I be party to it happening to someone else's.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 16/04/2015 23:05

If she wanted to do stuff she shouldn't then surely she could just make sure she was finished by 2:55am?

(Happy teenage memories of getting up to all sorts and still making it home for my midnight curfew.....)

MagicMojito · 16/04/2015 23:07

The whole situation sounds unreasonable.

Stay home and watch corrie. Sorted Grin

CrispyFern · 16/04/2015 23:25

Getting a six year old out of bed at three am to go collect their parent from a night in town is messed up.
Who on earth are these people?

arethereanyleftatall · 16/04/2015 23:42

Absolutely bonkers.

ImperialBlether · 16/04/2015 23:42

No bloody idea, CrispyFern.

MissBattleaxe · 17/04/2015 00:13

Go out nearer home and share a cab home a bit earlier. Maybe there's more to it and the DH is worried about his wife doing a 30 mile can journey at 3am. Maybe that's why he's picking her up.

shewept · 17/04/2015 06:39

I think you all sound unreasonable tbh, I am confused though as to why the dh would have to wait with the boyfriend. Was the boyfriend and the dh staying together while you were out? If that's right, I wouldn't want to sit with dhs friends wife, if I didn't know her for an entire evening.

londonrach · 17/04/2015 06:57

Ive read and re read it and dont understand. Go nearer and if needed pay for a taxi. Is your boyfriend losing more money than the taxi costs? Also why wake a 6 year at 3am. Maybe rethink the night op

AlternativeTentacles · 17/04/2015 07:34

What the what?

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 17/04/2015 10:55

All I feel after reading the op is to get in my Jim jams, pour a glass of wine and watch talking dogs on BGT.

Seriously how can you be arsed with thè hassle and the journey.

listsandbudgets · 17/04/2015 11:02

I'm sorry but any arrangement that involves taking a 6 year old out of bed at 3am just so his mum can enjoy a night out is wrong and selfish. Don't quite understand all your points but on that point alone it sounds like you need to rethink. What's wrong with going somewhere nearby, taking a taxi and being independent women? Your OP basically gives the impression neither of you can cope without your dp/dh running around after you as if your teenagers needing Dad's taxi.