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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have snapped at my friend?

23 replies

SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 18:09

My friend asked me if I was free today and we would go have lunch and she needs to get some clothes but knows what she needs so would be quick. I agreed.

(I'm quite poor at the moment which friend is well aware of this just so I'm not drip feeding)

Her "would be quick" lasted 2 hours. 2 hours of me sitting waiting for her to try clothes on and not a word of thank you was mentioned.

We had lunch and I checked the time and said we've got 20 minutes left of car parking and we weren't that close to it either (10 minute walk)

We started walking back and she said "just remembered I need to buy a card"

I said - well you need to be quick because I can't afford to pay for another hour of parking.

She looked a bit Confused and looked for a couple of second and then declared forget it.

I was a little snappy when I said it but I don't see why I should have to pay more money to wait for her yet again. She clearly thought I was being unreasonable though.

OP posts:
Satsumafairy · 16/04/2015 18:12

The second thread about annoying shopping habits of friends in one evening! No, yanbu. How annoying!

cansu · 16/04/2015 18:14

Why didnt you just meet up for lunch and then leave her to it? Or meet her there so you can go when you have had enough. Seems like a massive over reaction.

Treasures · 16/04/2015 18:15

YANBU. I'm afraid I might have snapped at her a bit sooner than that.

00100001 · 16/04/2015 18:16

I don't see why you couldn't have just left her to buy her card and gone your separate ways Confused

Bunbaker · 16/04/2015 18:16

Were you giving her a lift? Couldn't you have just met for lunch at the agreed time?

Original poster
SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 18:19

Sorry didn't make it clear. I'd given her a lift, and we live quite close and were on our way back to the car when she said she needed to buy the card.

I also picked her up which is why I didn't just meet her for lunch.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 16/04/2015 18:22

YANBU.

And whose idea was it to take your car btw? She sounds like a bit of a user tbh.

molyholy · 16/04/2015 18:24

Genuinely sorry if this sounds mean, but it sounds like you were a handy lift.

Original poster
SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 19:00

She doesn't drive.

I don't think I was a lift just because I suggested it and she would have got the bus if I hadn't.

OP posts:
00100001 · 16/04/2015 20:15

did she at least offer to pay for half the parking?

gamerchick · 16/04/2015 20:19

Do you often offer to do the lift thing and take your car if an invite crops up?

Original poster
SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 20:29

No gamerchick. As subtle as you were trying to imply that I only ever get invited to things because I have a car - that is not the case here.

OP posts:
CheeseandPickledOnion · 16/04/2015 20:42

If you can't afford an extra couple of quid for the hour parking, why were you out for lunch?

Your mate sounds annoying though.

gamerchick · 16/04/2015 21:04

I'm not implying anything I would say it straight out if I thought that.

Only1scoop · 16/04/2015 21:09

Yabu

To have maybe agreed to the trip at the moment with her sounds as like you weren't in the right frame of mind.

Maybe she just wanted lift. Did she pay parking/lunch etc as you drove?

Original poster
SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 21:14

If you can't afford an extra couple of quid for the hour parking, why were you out for lunch?

Well I can still afford food, I'm not that poor. I also don't have to justify to you why I treated myself to a meal.

But I resent having to pay even more for parking to stand and wait for her, when I'd already done it for 2 hours.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 16/04/2015 21:15

So did she pay for parking or your lunch as you drove?

Original poster
SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 21:19

She paid for half the parking - but I didn't know that at the time.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 16/04/2015 21:20

In that case she sounds a bit mean.

If my friend collected me helped me shop and dropped me off Id have paid for all the parking or lunch.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 16/04/2015 21:27

What did you want her to thank you for (apart from the lift)? Your friend rang to see if you fancied lunch and a bit of shopping. You said yes.

Why should she assume you were pissed off about anything? You agreed to the trip. You knew she wanted to shop for clothes. Two hours isn't that unreasonable.

No wonder she she was a bit Confused when you snapped at her. She probably thought you'd both had a nice time together.

Seems YABabitU to me.

gingerbreadmam · 16/04/2015 21:31

yadnbu.

have a friend just like this. last time i shopped with her i paid for 7 hours parking!!! i dont know how people do it and i love to shop. literally 15 minutes in one shop debating over which colour bottoms to get, for bed. i know now never to shop with her again ha Grin

im sure she'll have forgotten about it and if you're good friends i wouldnt worry at all. maybe make a joke of it next time you are together. it'll be fine.

Original poster
SnowflakeQueen · 16/04/2015 21:34

What did you want her to thank you for (apart from the lift)?

I'd just say to my friend - thanks for waiting, if they'd sat outside the changing room for half an hour whilst I tried stuff on and then after coming out, when in another changing room downstairs to try on the 8th pair of black trousers.

I think I'd just acknowledge that my friend waited for me. Maybe that's strange of me, I don't know.

I also think 2 hours is loooooong, if you state before going - I know exactly what I need (black trousers and a bra).

OP posts:
CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 16/04/2015 21:39

Horses for courses - if my friend snapped at me when I thought we had had a nice lunch and a couple of hours shopping, I'd be Confused too

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