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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this isnt strange?

37 replies

MsMarvel · 16/04/2015 16:13

Hadn't thought anything of it until my friends seemed surprised so decided to run it by mumsnet!

Started a new job at the start of the year, and my colleagues have a night out planned this weekend, which I'm planning on going to.

My friends seemed surprised that I was going because my work colleagues are all male, and about 20 years older than me.

IMO this is totally irrelevant, I get on well with my colleagues and until my friends had me doubting myself, I was looking forward to it.

I have issues with social situations out of my comfort zone, and am now really paranoid that they don't actually want or expect me to come out and that I'll spoil the night for everyone.

Please reassure me that I'm paranoid because I'm tempted to cancel , which I end up doing far too often for social things and don't want to be that person anymore.

OP posts:
Walkingonsunshine00 · 16/04/2015 16:15

I see nothing wrong with it to be honest, you work together every day so it's not like you've never met them...

HubertCumberdale · 16/04/2015 16:15

No, that seems normal. You spend all day with them, why not an odd evening also?
Don't cancel, have fun.

MrsTedCrilly · 16/04/2015 16:17

YANBU, they are your work colleagues who you know and see every day.. Your team. She is bizarre and living in the past.

Original poster
MsMarvel · 16/04/2015 16:18

They thought it was odd because I would be the only female, and a lot younger, whereas they are all around the same age.

I was aware there was this difference, but didn't think it mattered?

OP posts:
IsadoraQuagmire · 16/04/2015 16:25

Of course it's not strange, the people you get on well with don't have to be the same age or sex as you (for example, none of my closest friends are female, and nearly all my friends are at least 10 years older than me)

rebelfor · 16/04/2015 16:26

Not strange at all, I personally prefer the company of men.

hotfuzzra · 16/04/2015 16:26

I don't think it does matter. They invited you, you want to go. Please don't cancel, go and have fun! Wine

Blarblarblar · 16/04/2015 16:29

YANBU they invited you. You where looking forward to it go have fun they will probably love having someone a bit younger about.

Thurlow · 16/04/2015 16:31

So she thinks its ok to sit in an office and chat with them all day - but not sit in a pub and chat with them? Confused

Very normal to me.

Gatehouse77 · 16/04/2015 16:34

Have a great night!

WannabeLaraCroft · 16/04/2015 16:34

If they didn't want you to go with them they'd have made it clear it was a lad's night out. There's nothing strange about it - some women would prefer not to I suppose, but personally it wouldn't bother me. I work in a mostly male environment and enjoy working and socialising with them more than the couple of witches female colleagues. Go and have a good time! Grin

YouBetterWerk · 16/04/2015 16:34

Not weird at all. I'm a PC and often go out for nights out with my colleagues - all male, all at least 15 years older. And I'm a girls girl at heart.
Don't worry about it.
Have a good night!

OnlyLovers · 16/04/2015 16:51

If you get on you get on.

There's nowt so queer as folk.

loveareadingthanks · 16/04/2015 16:58

Not weird. I recently spent about an hour in the pub with a colleague who is male and more than 20 years younger than me. And I used to work at a place where we were all women in 20s/30s, and one man in 60s. He used to come out clubbing with us and all sorts and loved it.

YBR · 16/04/2015 17:03

I don't think there's anything wrong or odd, but I work in an office full of blokes and when they go out they can get a lewd as they get drunk merrier. Past the level where I don't want to hear it - fairly derogatory towards women.
I don't go often but I do make sure I've a polite option to escape early and leave them to it.

molyholy · 16/04/2015 17:12

Go for it. Quite an old fashioned view of your friends imho.

DinosaursStillEggsist · 16/04/2015 21:51

Go for it. I work in an extremely male-dominant environment and much prefer the company of males. IME they'd (the men would) make it clear if you weren't welcome and as it doesn't appear that they have then I'd assume that they see you as someone they'd enjoy socialising with too. Your friends sound awfully stuck in the past.

RusticBlush · 16/04/2015 22:30

They wouldn't have asked you to go if they didn't want you to be there.
Enjoy - they obviously enjoy your company Grin

PeppermintCrayon · 17/04/2015 09:19

I think it depends a lot on where you're going.

Original poster
MsMarvel · 17/04/2015 16:26

Going to a bar in town for drinks. I'll go along, and if there's a different vibe, I'll have a couple and then say I'm away to meet someone.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 17/04/2015 16:30

Enjoy. Your friends are being absurd.

Original poster
MsMarvel · 17/04/2015 17:01

No I just need to figure out what to wear... Hmm

OP posts:
Blarblarblar · 17/04/2015 18:43

As its a bunch of older blokes you can probably leave the sequins at home Grin what would you normally wear Friday night in town.

SurlyCue · 17/04/2015 18:51

Not weird at all OP. I am in a class of all males and just one other woman. Age range from 18-35. We all have a brilliant time when we go out. So much fun. Your friend is weird, and essentially saying you should never go on a work night out Confused because your colleagues are male Confused Confused

SolasEile · 17/04/2015 19:18

If you were asked along on a work night out then of course you should go if you want to. Worst case scenario, if you turn up and the atmosphere gets weird you can just make your excuses and leave.