One of my close friends has suffered on-and-off from bulimia for 18 years. She had treatment as a teenager but refuses more treatment as she doesn't want it to go on medical records because of career. She also says it helps her control her weight (she's underweight) and says she doesn't want to stop yet. In past I've done everything I can think of to help her but i've accepted she has to want to get better first.
Anyway when she stayed with me recently, she binged on junk-food every night then went to toilet after every binge to vomit it all up. She openly admitted doing this. It annoyed me because I felt whole visit was centred around her binge-vomit cycle. Eg as DH and DD were away we'd planned a cosy night in, chatting by fireside, but she made the whole evening about food. We cooked a meal but then she wanted to cook bacon and sausages as well, then heat up soup, then desserts from freezer, crisps, chocolate etc and went to make herself sick every 30 mins or so. She was still cooking food at midnight. She was distant and preoccupied. When she did same the following 2 nights I felt really pissed off as it was like she'd only come to eat my food (and waste it) and wasn't even trying to curb the urge to do so. I appreciate she felt she was on holiday and was comfortable enough with me not to care I knew what she was doing, but for me it ruined the visit. Also the bathroom reeked of vomit. I tried to talk to her about it but she didn't want to discuss it.
She recently did same thing at a friend's wedding (binging on the wedding buffet then being sick in toilets every half an hour). A mutual friend heard her being sick and asked me if she was ok, I had to cover for her and say she'd had a bad reaction to something. It was really obvious that she was eating way more than anyone else, e.g. loading her plate with 6 different desserts.
So this time when she came to stay with me, I took her aside on arrival and very gently explained i don't want her to binge-vomit in my house, particularly as DH and DD are here this time. I told her how it makes me feel, and said i'll do anything to help, but said I can't stand by while she actively chooses to do this.
I also mentioned the wedding and how it was inappropriate to binge since she was part of bridal party and it wasn't her food to waste.
WIBU?
She got upset and cried, we talked, and she agreed not to do it this time.
To her credit, she did not binge. However, she also hardly ate anything, would only eat very low-calorie foods like vegetables and salad, and asked if she could take some of the other food home. I said yes, not realising she would fill her suitcase with food from my kitchen, and package up as much food from our fridge as she could (e.g. cake, desserts, cheese and other things she had declined to eat at the time, not just taking a couple of slices but cutting off huge chunks e.g. she cut an apple pie in half and wrapped it in clingfilm, did the same with cake, leftover pizza etc). DD asked me why she was doing this, I didn't know what to say.
I didn't say anything to friend this time, but now she wants to plan next visit and I don't know what (if anything) I should say to her about the food issues.
I know she needs help and support but she won't accept professional help.