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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have we become too wary of others in our society?

9 replies

OrlandoWoolf · 15/04/2015 22:28

Not an AIBU - but linked to other recent ones.

I think we have become too wary and this could lead to people in trouble not getting any help. The Good Samaritan would probably avoid the person injured today.

I was driving down a dark country road back to my village. There was a car with lights flashing and someone waving. My gut reaction was - is this a set up? Someone trying to attack me and steal the car. I stopped on the other side, wound down the window - turned out to be a teenage girl whose car had broken down and she had no credit on her phone. She used my phone to contact her Dad and I stayed till help arrived.

But:

a) I was nervous that it could be a car jack
b) If a man had stopped, the girl could have been nervous about being attacked.

A child by themselves. Chances of an abductor being in a mall and seeing a lost child and then deciding to abduct them are incredibly slim
Chances of child getting lost and needing adult help - much more likely.

Yet many people, especially men, would be reluctant to step in. Result - child gets distraught and parents worry.

Obviously people are going to use past experience to judge situations - especially if they've been attacked. But often the result of inaction can lead to worse outcomes - such as being alone on a road or a distraught child.

How do we overcome such feelings? It can't be good for society.

OP posts:
Seriouslyffs · 15/04/2015 22:31

It can't be good for society. Fortunately I only see the wariness about strangers and scams online and not IRL.

OrlandoWoolf · 15/04/2015 22:36

I did think twice about stopping.The worst case scenario for me would have been pretty horrible but then I do think I am a caring person and would not want to leave someone stranded.

I would hope someone would stop for me. But again, if it was a man, the chances of him being "dodgy" are slim.

OP posts:
123upthere · 15/04/2015 22:36

Agree with your entire post OP I wonder if it's since becoming a parent myself that I'm more probe to thinking this way? As I used to be so carefree.

123upthere · 15/04/2015 22:37
  • prone not probe
FredSaid · 16/04/2015 03:30

Interesting thread, i personally am warey due to experiences sometimes its hard not to be tbh if that was me i wouldnt of stopped. Good she found you though and not someone who could of had bad intentions

textfan · 16/04/2015 03:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 16/04/2015 06:14

Totally agree Orlando.

The whole paedo-noia in particular is shocking.

pearpotter · 16/04/2015 06:22

On the one hand, the paedo hysteria is ridiculous. On the other hand, lots of terrible abuse was going on under people's noses by trusted individuals. It's no wonder people don't know who to trust.

base9 · 16/04/2015 06:34

People in Celtic Britain organised themselves into hillforts surrounded by spiked walls to keep out intruders.

Other people have always been a threat and they still are. You have to make constant judgement calls. Glad you made the right one and the girl you helped is safe.

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