To ask for thoughts on this schooling decision please?

[wishparentingwaseasy]

My dd is currently in year 5. With lots of sadness we have to move her in year 6 from her independent school for financial reasons.

We had hoped for her to stay until end of year 6 and move to local state secondary, but life hasn't panned out that way.

So my decision now is:

Do I move her to the local primary (there is space) and she has to deal with the questions of why she's joining in year 6 but then moves up with "hopefully" friends made?

Or do I move her to a primary near my work (there is space) and she has to deal with questions of why she's joining in year 6, but then moves into secondary school?

Basically I'm concerned she'll be stigmatised for coming from an independent and I know she won't lie and say it's financial.

AIBU to worry about this or are my fears unfounded and no child will care?

How about lots more children to choose like minded friends from. That's the main disadvantage of small class sizes, being stuck with children you may not like.

X post, square.

I swapped from private to state at 14 and it was hard - at 10 it will be fine. A few have started at DCs school in Y's 4 5 and 6, and they never question why. They just aren't interested at that age, as a poster said they are more interested in what they are like as a person.

In terms of class sizes - the pitfalls are that children that are well behaved in the middle ability band can be overlooked, the advantage is that there is a bigger pool of friends so not so cliquey. Work is differentiated so three shouldn't be any issues hopefully with the right level of work being given. I guess class discussions would be richer with more participants too.

Un/fortunately she gets on really well with all the children in her class so will stress that there will be more opportunity to make even more friends.

Walking to school is a big plus it's what she particularly likes about the senior school.

Differentiation of school work is definitely a good thing.

my best friend (lived down the road) was at a fee paying school when I was that age. there was another state primary nearby and also a roman catholic school so I just thought some kids went to different schools. She was jealous of me because I had lots of friends (more children my age - maybe 30 in class size a good thing?), who all lived within walking distance (v important as around the age we started walking to each other's houses a lot). I was jealous of her because there were ponies at her school. But her uniform was HIDEOUS and really strict; and she had to play the clarinet, which she hated. She struggled academically, so although there was a bit of her thinking her school was better (school ski trips were mentioned....) I think she probably felt it wasn't deep down and we never fell out about it.

Hi Op unless there's a massive social divide where you live I don't think it will be an issue at all. Go local or to school where the same kids will move to the same pick of secondaries.

Kids will not be interested in why she
Has moved. They often think their school is the best so naturally everyone would want to go there.

Sell it as a chance to get used to larger classes before high school? And different ways of teaching?

Bigger classes = bigger pool of friends, she is bound to find someone she clicks with.

Most able are more likely to have peers, rather than being out on their own. At our school there are extension groups in several subjects, as well as differentiation in class.

Everywhere we go my kids see people they know - cake shop, gymnastics, soft play, wherever. I went to private school in a different town myself, and I'm still wowed by this!

And they have friends one or 2 streets away, which I never had either.

Not sure if this will help her, but state school teachers are experts in handling 30 children and differentiating the lessons. i have literally no idea how they do it, but my DD's teacher always knows exactly where DD is with her learning targets, and back when they were grouped for literacy she would move DD between groups depending on the task, because she knew DD well enough. (They still offer differentiated worksheets but now, the children get to choose them.) I have never felt my children were anonymous.

This happened to me when I was about seven - for reasons never explained at the time and still unknown, my parents took me out of a private prep school and put me in a state primary instead. I think I was top year of infants (year 2?).

I can't lie - it wasn't easy. Class sizes were much bigger, behaviour not so orderly, but the hardest thing was that my private school tended to teach children things as early as they were willing and able to learn, and weren't so fussed about what calendar age you were. Arriving at the state primary, I found my learning at least a year ahead of what my age group had done. I then wasted a year wondering why I wasn't learning anything new, and then another year trying to shake off the label of troublemaker because I was so bored.

The good news is that social or financial issues never came up. A few kids wondered out loud how come I'd turned up randomly in the top infants when they had been there for two years already, but no one was very interested in the answer. I think my parents told me to say that we were thinking about moving house or something vague like that. I also remember the teacher asking me in front of the whole class whether I liked my new school better than the old one (!) It probably helped that the kids at the state primary were quite socially mixed - there were some kids who lived in pretty big houses, some kids from the local council estates, but most kids families were really average - the parents were policemen, teachers, the local baker and so on.

Good luck with it: at that age, it will all come out in the wash.

Such positivity I'm so very grateful.

She'll be fine in the local school I bet op. We have quite a few children joining our school in year 5 or 6, occasionally from Independent schools. They settle in very quickly and the other children don't care at all where they went to last or why they left. Best of luck!

We moved our DD from private to local primary in October last year, she is in year 6. Mainly financial but also to ensure that she made friends with children who lived locally and would be going to secondary with her. She is an outgoing girl and settled in quickly. The other children didn't question where she came from and don't care. Class size was an issue, it's going to be a big difference being in a class of 16 to a class of 34, however that's the way it is, the positive is more friends to choose from. She misses the opportunities the independent school offered, particularly sports which she loved, I just do not find sports are taken very seriously at mainstream schools. However we have all looked at it as only being 8 months and then she will be moving again, luckily to join her sister at the local grammar. She will be fine OP, unfortunately life doesn't always go as planned but our children learn to be resilient as a result!

If you move her to the local school she will move up with her peer group. We moved house and schools when my ds was in year 6 and it was great as he then moved to secondary with half the 11 year olds in the town, much less bother than if he had been new in secondary knowing no-one.
Even if your dd is honest that she has moved schools because of financial circumstances changing she won't be the only 10 year old to have family change they haven't chosen. If you let her know that life changes and you have to adapt and that's nothing to be embarrassed about it will only help her. Does she have local friends who will be in the same class?