To want to know what you would advise DD to do?

[Throwawaynickname]

I'll try and keep things brief. My DD is 19 and had almost completed her first year of university (professional course) when she left to have an unplanned baby. Due to her extreme morning sickness she could not finish the first year of the course. We were disappointed but supportive of her choice, even though the baby's father has not contacted her since. He still studies at her previous university.

However, she does not know what to do now. She could potentially go back to do the same course at the same university but this would mean moving two hours away with her DC at 19 and she would have to start the year again. There are no universities near us that do this course so there's no option of staying at home and completing her professional course. She isn't sure that she wants to continue this course but it's the best for a single mother (steady income, job in demand, good holidays)
She could potentially stay at home and do another course at the local university with a conversion to her chosen profession afterwards but this would take four years in total and seems a very indirect route to get back where she was before. If she starts a course in September, she would graduate before her DC goes to school which is important to her. Her childcare would be funded wherever she goes, although it may be too late to find a childcare place in the nurseries she would like.

Time is running out to make a decision. What would you advise?

Coyoacan - It isn't the studying that people are saying is hard. It is the placements that are incredibly time consuming.
That said I honestly think BEd would be easier than doing another degree and then a PGCE. PGCEs are notoriously bloody hard work!
Having said that, there is no reason she needs to go into teaching now! A good decision could be to do something else for a few years or until baby is school age and then go back to teacher training.

She has looked into finding a career outside of university as she has decent A Levels etc but childcare would be more of an issue there- she would get a full grant for a uni course but not for an apprenticeship etc. she also doesn't know what she's like to do anyway!

I'm starting to see the impracticalities of teaching though, perhaps that's a career choice best made in a few years

Throwaway I had my son at 18 and he came to uni with me. We managed and I completed my teacher training (eventually) with three boys and as a single mum. It's completely doable and uni's have good childcare facilities and extra funding available.
It certainly wasn't a negative experience for me and that boy that slept in a put up bed in my halls is now 18 :)

I would never have managed my teacher training with a baby. It was all consuming. I am full of admiration for those of you who have managed it!

Definitely take the longer route and stay at home with you. I think it will all be too overwhelming for her to be away on her own with a new baby and a demanding course. At least if the baby keeps her up all night the day before an assignment is due in she will have some support around her.

I also think that now could be a good time to do the course whilst she is at home with support. In a couple of years she may be in a different situation, possibly living alone and may not find it as easy to make time to study.

I'd say do a degree at home then a pgce. Moving away and having no support would be extremely tough. Plus she will find it very difficult to make friends in this situation. I think it would be a very lonely experience.
Staying at home she has support and can get her degree. Then if she's still interested In teaching a pgce but also she'll just have a degree.

I would study at the local uni. If she is looking at teaching a strong degree in a curriculum subject could put her above the competition when applying for jobs after pgce. Plus giving a good foundation if she fancied not going into teaching at the end of the degree

This is exactly what I did! Got pregnant at start of my second year at uni 2 hours from home. I was lucky enough not to get sick though so I never left and stayed a 4th year to do my PGCE as I realised I was going to be a single mum from the off and would have to have a term time, family friendly job. Seriously, staying at university stopped me ruining my life and teaching is the only career that I can see as a possibility in my position. I would advise your daughter to think very carefully before giving up this opportunity.

Totally agree with others who said get another undergrad degree closer to home first. This gives her maximum flexibility. Teaching is stupidly hard work and IME not really compatible with young children unless you have a lot of support. She can always persue teaching but she may decide to do something else, or do something else for a few years while her little one is small. You don't get those years back and realistically as an NQT you should expect to work 60+ hour/week in the current climate.

I think she should stay at home and study a different degree and then convert with the professional course afterwards. I think support from her family will be key in these early years. If she left, I do wonder if she could manage by herself. If she stayed at home she could also do things like learning to drive - in my view this is also a key skill, particularly for a mother.

I know you say this choice is the longer route but she is young and the timing isn't an important factor. Indeed, I like the sound of taking things more slowly. Your daughter has been propelled into adulthood and taking longer to get her degree and qualification might give her more time to "enjoy" university life and "being young".

An additional degree will be enriching too, from an intellectual perspective. Also, It will give her a kind of academic hinterland that can sometimes be lacking with professional courses/qualifications.

Whatever happens I sincerely hope she gets her qualifications. I think it's so important for a woman, particularly one who is facing the challenges of single parenthood. Wishing you all the best of luck.

You don't get a grant with an apprenticeship - because you get a salary! But it does depend on what she is interested in, IT and Accountancy pay well and often allow you to get a degree at the same time, but if she's interested in something else then it might not be the best choice.

Do not do accounting. It is possibly the least friendly career choice out there for a single parent unless you use it as a stepping stone into management by doing an MBA.

I think teaching is probably a great career choice for your daughter. I know the hours are not easy but as a WOHM in public accounting the hours are horrendous and not suitable for a single parent with young children at all. There is always someone worse off with the number of hours worked and I tend to think of the poor servants back in the 18th century when I get down about my hours. I think she should stick with getting a degree.

If her confidence is low I think it make sense for her to do a different subject close to home and power through the conversion course once she graduates. She should speak to her school to see if she can salvage any of her year already studied and also speak to her new school to see if they would accept any of the credits already taken. I studied with someone who was able to transfer credits over and they were applied to her elective courses for her 2nd and 3rd year. She was really sick so needed the time as she got tired really easily.

Just to mention...the postgraduate teaching training situation has been in flux for the last few years with a view to the traditional PGCE being phased out in many institutions in favour of school direct: a school consortium-based system of training.

I personally would not rely on the idea that your dd will be able to do a trad PGCE after another non-QTS first degree. She could really do with talking to someone about it, perhaps contacting someone at the nearest institution that currently offers postgraduate teacher-training.

I'm a teacher and have just had my first baby. I'm looking at other career options as although the holidays are good, during term time I feel like I'd never spend any quality time with my baby.

Pickled - be careful with the career you transition to. If I was full time I would not see my DC Monday - Friday and for two months of the year I would not see them on Saturdays too. Best thing I did was to go part time. I am looking at roles outside public accounting but very few are family friendly.

I woukd think teaching can be family friendly if you can go part time or teach in a school where class sizes are smaller. According to the teachers in our school district the best thing to happen was class sizes dropping from 25 to 15.

Want2bSupermum - I completely disagree about accounting. I am an accountant and have a great PT job. I only have to work my contracted hours most of the time and spend lots of time with my DDs (though I'm currently on maternity leave). There are different ways of qualifying and I have met recently qualified accountants who skipped university so were qualified by 22. I think the hardest bit is taking exams while working and preferred my experience of qualifying in public practice, rather than industry as we got more study leave.

Cactus, in the politest way possible you have no idea how or where she's tried to seek advice. This thread is about me advising her, she's still 19 after all even with a child, not 32

I don't think there's any problem with her taking a further year out to enjoy her baby and work out exactly what she wants to do. Better to make the right choice of degree, I think. If she's able to stay with you, she could work/volunteer and maybe get some clarity on what she wants to do. Having some work experience could really help her get a job afterwards as she'll bring something else to the interview over other graduates.

There have been a number of threads on here indicating that being a teacher isn't as family friendly as it might seem, especially with sick children and needing time off during term times to care for them. Although the holidays are great (providing your child has the same holiday dates!).

Personally, DH and I moved nearer to his parents to help with childcare and we were both in quite flexible jobs. It came into it's own when DD was sick, but also school holidays and inset days.

I would expect a 19yr old to be pretty nervous about the prospect of moving 2 hours away to start a university degree with a small baby even with fully paid up childcare. If the father of her child was supportive that would be one thing but clearly he is a dickhead.

I know some grandparents who have become primary carers for their grandchild to allow their children to complete their education but that was a 2nd level and not 3rd. It's a huge ask of you and your husband. And its a bit cheeky to put her back to being a footloose student literally leaving you holding the baby. You run the risk of huge intra family resentment if you were to do this and she were to take advantage OR if you and your husband pushed her out of line as parent.

Presumably if she goes away to uni with her child she will live away from home and have additional costs associated with that which either you will have to fund OR she will leave uni with significant debt between fees and accommodation? Her accommodation options will certainly be more limited.

Assuming you are happy to, I think the option of the local university and later conversion actually offers more chance of her successfully completing her degree and becoming professionally qualified at something even if she changes course. She will have more local support and less financial pressures. It will take a little longer but offer more flexibility and opportunity for long term financial security.

If appropriate and you are willing, it would be less of a burden to become a primary carer for a 4-5 yr old for a single year while the conversion course took place if she had to live away during that period.

There's a lot of opinion about various professions and how family friendly they are. I'd recommend to your daughter that she take the option now that gives her most flexibility in her choices. More than one way to skin a cat and all that. Plenty of people make some very tough careers work with young children.

All that said, if she's nervous about going 2 hrs away with a newborn but would be back in a heartbeat without a baby in tow, then I'd be more inclined to suggest that she steps up and does the course that she enjoys. Then discuss how you could all support her to achieve her goals.

I did a PGCE with a (just) one-year-old AND a supportive earning DH AND a DM for full time childcare and I very nearly didn't cope. The hours and stress (particularly in final placements and NQT year) are extreme.

Massive respect to those PPs who managed it without support!

19 pretty much is still a child Cactus!

Although I still think I made the best decision for me and my children, it was a bizarre lifestyle. I lived in a student house, went to silly fancy dress and games parties, went out drinking, did lots of dance lessons and musical productions, hung around the house gossiping with friends all day, attended the odd lecture, pulled all nighters to write essays and basically everything else that students do - just all with a baby in tow! It's like she was my (and all my friends') doll! I even went travelling with her in university summer holidays.

It's interesting in a way. It's given me a firm belief that actually children don't need structure, routine or adult lives revolving round theirs. They just need love and care.