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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wibu to quit my job

26 replies

Honeyberry · 14/04/2015 22:57

Due to persistent victimisation from just one person?

I know I probably was but I just couldn't take it any more. I'm going to miss everyone so much though. I can't stop crying now.

OP posts:

JeanSeberg · 14/04/2015 22:58

Sorry to read this.

Have you already resigned?

Original poster

Honeyberry · 14/04/2015 22:59

Yes, I've emailed my resignation through. Thanks for the , I feel rubbish :(

OP posts:

Seriouslyffs · 14/04/2015 23:00

Do you want to talk about it? Actually it's probably not a great idea on such a public forum. Can you talk to anyone?

Icimoi · 14/04/2015 23:01

Did you take your issues to HR and/or go through the grievance procedure?

Original poster

Honeyberry · 14/04/2015 23:02

Well, I don't think many people would understand. It wasn't a great job and I'll be able to get another one easily in the field - if I want one that is - but it's more now it's made me feel within myself. I feel so upset and upset with myself for feeling so upset!

OP posts:

Scrumbled · 14/04/2015 23:21

This happened to me once and I walked, I was on a rolling cotract and not much that I could do. I felt shit for about a week, feeling tearfull, angry, worrying if I should have stuck it, how I coukd have prevented it or dealt with the situation better. Then the relief hit me.

A coup,e of weeks later in a new contract and it really sunk in what a good move it was.

Original poster

Honeyberry · 14/04/2015 23:23

Thanks. I just feel so angry as it's unfair but I don't feel I have a choice. Yet I feel so worthless.

OP posts:

OllyBJolly · 14/04/2015 23:34

You did have a choice. You took control of the situation and resolved it. That was a brave thing to do and you should be proud.

If you can, take some time to recharge and restore your self confidence and then get back out there. Your next job will be happier because you will be stronger.

Original poster

Honeyberry · 14/04/2015 23:35

Thank you olly, I appreciate that post :)

OP posts:

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 15/04/2015 05:40

Sorry you're feeling poo!

But you are NOT weak, you are strong!! , it takes guts to walk away from a situation like this.

Hugs!

toomuchtooold · 15/04/2015 05:55

I think we all get told as kids to stand up to bullies and not let them win etc but I think you also need to be able to look at a situation objectively and if you have no power to change what's going on, the sensible adult thing is to leave.

As it happens I am going in to work this morning to quit my job! Best pay I've ever had, but the pressure is immense and you never know where the next kicking is going to come from. Not worth it!

Tutteredboast · 15/04/2015 06:06

I put up with being bullied in a job when I should have left as soon as I realised it was a sick situation with a nasty toxic middle manager who was working out her frustrations on me and various others.

The result was that when I finally did try to leave, my self esteem was so low, I kept messing up interviews. It affected my personal life too.

I truly wish I had walked away at the start.

Can you stay in contact with any of the nice people?
and
Good luck

Chottie · 15/04/2015 06:07

Just another person wishing you well. Nothing is worth your health and wellbeing

Smoorikins · 15/04/2015 06:38

It was absolutely the right thing to do. I did the same thing, and despite having a couple of months to worry that I had ruined myself financially, I am now in a stronger position than before, doing a job that I liloveve, working with people that I like being around and seem to like me being there.

You won't regret it.

Feellikescrooge · 15/04/2015 06:59

You did the right thing. We employed a woman about three years ago on a temp contract. She was very self-effacing and nervous around staff but confident with the pupils which seemed unusual. Gradually she relaxed and seemed like a different person, was given a permanent contract and has been promoted.
About 3 months ago I met her previous boss at a conference. On my return I mentioned this to her and she asked what I thought of her. I was quite evasive and eventually said that she seemed a complete bitch. My colleague then broke down and told me what this woman and her cronies had done to her.
She said she was still recovering from it and most regretted putting up with it for over two years.
Well done for having the courage to leave.

Silvercatowner · 15/04/2015 07:10

Yeah I did once. I tried to fix it - had a meeting with bully and bullies line manager, unfortunately the line manager sided with the bully. I ended up a complete sobbing wreck nd put my notice in a week later, with nothing to go to. My boss's face was a picture. My bully did get comeuppance a few years later.

Original poster

Honeyberry · 15/04/2015 07:14

Glad to hear it isn't just me, they will be reading my resignation in a couple of hours.

OP posts:

The80sweregreat · 15/04/2015 07:27

Work place bullying is still alive and well it seems. Its so sad. Im sure your doing the right thing. I wish you luck.

justmyview · 15/04/2015 07:37

Was the person who bullied you one of those "I'm a straight talker, I speak as I find, people either love me or hate me" types?

If so, please remind yourself that this is usually an excuse for being rude and most people hate them

Szeli · 15/04/2015 07:44

What just said.

Walking is unbelieveably brave, and it should make them take stock of the place they're running. Did you mention why you're leaving? Not that it matters tbf just well done!

RowRowRowCrocodileScream · 15/04/2015 08:05

Well done, it takes guts to do what you have done. Years ago I got a promotion into a different department of the organisation I worked for which I was proud to get. It quickly became apparent that I'd made a horrible mistake and the culture of the team was awful and bullying and I was so miserable and sobbing as I walked along the corridor to that awful office ever day. The only way I could get out was to request demotion to my former grade. I did and have never regretted it.

It's taught me that it is absolutely not worth putting up with that sort of awful behaviour and made me stronger in a way I wouldn't have expected.

RowRowRowCrocodileScream · 15/04/2015 08:07

It was a temporary hiccup career-wise and it hasn't affected my career detrimentally long term.

MrsTedCrilly · 15/04/2015 08:13

You made the right decision 100%. Life is too short to put up with this bullshit, your mental health is more important. God bullies make me so angry!

Original poster

Honeyberry · 15/04/2015 08:16

It was a client, so nothing would be done about it.

OP posts:

bunchoffives · 15/04/2015 08:28

It was a client, so nothing would be done about it.

so even more reason to know you made the right decision. It would not have been resolved any other way so you only had two options - walk or put up and shut up.

The trouble with trying to tolerate that kind of situation long term is that it just reinforces and condones the organisation's culture where bullying is overlooked and permitted.

It takes strength and courage to vote with your feet and decide that what ever other people decide is permissible, that you have higher standards for yourself and greater expectations from your life and choose not to put up with their ignorant and ill-educated ways of running a workplace and treatment of other human beings.

So well done. You showed them that if bullying is tolerated in the workplace they will lose good workers and replacing them is (at the very least) extremely expensive for a business.

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