To be upset at this

[Marmaladedandelions]

A friend I used to be close to and j had recently got in touch again.

Last time I was in regular contact she used to ask to borrow money. That was ok and she did pay it back.

She's just messaged me to ask for a loan. It isn't that that upsets me - it's the fact the only time she has got in touch has been to ask for money

it just upsets me that's how she sees me.

Just say no. You're under no obligation and what you've described isn't really how a true friend would treat you.

It's not the money though; I will say no but I'm upset that thst is all I'm good for.

I had a friend like that. I loaned her money - a loan that I suspected might not be repaid - it wasn't so I let her off - and was fine about that as I was earning and she was not.

What began to rankle was that when I said no to standing guarantor for a loan she was a bit "cool". She wasn't interested if I rang for a chat. My circumstances changed so when she asked again for a loan and I said no she didn't bother with me again. I got regular round robin e-mails - "To all my friends - can anyone lend me.... until Friday?" but have never had a personal contact since. Feel a bit used tbh. So, no YANBU

No
No
No.

She sees you as a crutch when she's in dire straits.

She's not really a friend. She just sees you as an open wallet. Dump her.

I know, it just is really rubbish to be seen like that. As if I'm not a very nice person

It's not all you're good for. It's all she's good for. Asking for loans. It's probably because you are a nice person that she's taking advantage. Dump her.

She sees you as a loan company, she is no friend. No no no.

She's the one who isn't a nice person, not you.

Agree with Natalia, this isn't about you, it's about her! She sounds awful, ditch her once and for all and for God's sake, don't lend her any money!!

She probably can't face you because she knows that she is treating you badly and that you deserve a better friend.

No, it's not as if you're not a very nice person, quite the contrary. It's that SHE is not a very nice person who looks for nice people to take advantage of.

Thanks. It's silly it has made me feel bad I know but I do!

One answer...No.. Never lend to friends or family and they become ex friends and family..

Yes, thank you, but it isn't about the money.

I'm not surprised it's made you feel crappy, it's awful of her to treat you like a human cash machine. Really though - it's not you who should feel bad. A decent person doesn't fall out of contact with people for months on end and only contact them again when they're useful. That isn't a friendship.
This doesn't mean you're a horrible person or that you're not worth her time usually, it just means that she's a user.

Yes, true. I think it's because it's someone I've known for years - it upsets me she can treat me in this way.

Sounds like you're mourning the friendship you thought you had. Sucks, I know.