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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about a friend's dog?

17 replies

pinkfrocks · 14/04/2015 15:03

Friend I speak to on the phone more than see due to distance.
She has a yappy dog which IMO she hasn't trained properly, despite being a 'dog lover' ( in comparison with a dog in my immediate family.)

When we are on the phone the dog is either competing for attention or yapping non stop at passers by (out of her window.)
Last conversation I muttered 'tell that bloody dog to be quiet' in a semi serious voice. I could hardly talk to her for its yapping.

She sounded offended and when she did shout at it , it tool not a bit of notice.

Same happens when I visit (rarely). It jumps up and yaps incessantly until it's got used to me being there.

I know other people with dogs that are trained not to do either of these things and it just annoys me that she can't control hers.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheMoa · 14/04/2015 15:18

You are annoyed by the dog of a friend you hardly see? Grin

I'd not worry myself about it, personally. It's not as though the mutt will be out running the streets and mugging old ladies.

Original poster
pinkfrocks · 14/04/2015 15:19

I am annoyed that I can't have a conversation with her because of it's incessant yapping at her end.

OP posts:
flabbyducks · 14/04/2015 15:22

That sounds like a very stressed dog to me

KurriKurri · 14/04/2015 16:44

Its quite hard to stop dogs yapping if they are the kind that is excited/stressed by everything that passes the house. Shouting at him will only make him worse - it will rev up the tension that he's feeling.

I imagine she's feeling quite stressed by it too. Maybe she could find someone to help her train him not to bark. My dog used to bark at the hoover as it scared her, so every time the hoover was used by someone I made sure I was next to her stroking her and talking quietly and soothingly to her so she kept calm, and praising her if she kept quiet, and she gradually got used to it and ignored it.

Just because she hasn't sussed out how to stop him barking doesn't mean she is not a dog lover, just an inexperienced owner who could do with a bit of support and help.

GloGirl · 14/04/2015 16:48

Yes, yabu. "Tell that bloody dog to be quiet" is rude.

Much better to say "Sorry I can't hear you very well. Can you phone back when it's quiet?"

It is incredibly difficult to teach a dog not to bark.

Original poster
pinkfrocks · 14/04/2015 17:06

she is not an inexperienced dog owner. This is her 2nd dog and she is 4 years old. My sister has a dog and if she barks when we are talking she is told very firmly to stop- and she does.

OP posts:
Marmaladedandelions · 14/04/2015 17:07

Mines a yapper; some dogs just are more 'vocal' then others Grin I have a very chatty cat too.

GloGirl · 14/04/2015 18:11

pinkfrocks They're like children, just because one dog is well behaved does not mean another is not spirited.

And some breeds breeds are a lot more vocal than others.

Dieu · 14/04/2015 18:22

I couldn't bear that. YANBU.

GobblersKnob · 14/04/2015 18:24

You would have got short shrift from me if you'd made such a comment.

queeninthenorth · 14/04/2015 18:51

I think YANBU to want to be able to hear your friend on the phone but YABU to ask her to tell 'that bloody dog' to be quiet. Your friends dog is clearly important to her or she wouldn't have it! You're sisters dog and your friends dog are like too different people so not really comparable, as others have said different dogs have different personalities, some are more vocal and some are not, and more importantly some are anxious and barking or 'yapping' is their response, some have seemingly no reason for being anxious but they are, they're just of a nervous disposition. It takes time to learn how to help a dog with this problem and having only had one dog prior to this, she may have never experienced this type of thing before and it can be really challenging!

Next time, try telling your friend that you can't hear her very well and can phone back another time if its more convenient for her.

ConfusedInBath · 14/04/2015 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwoOddSocks · 14/04/2015 19:13

Like others have said you wouldn't be unreasonable to ask to speak to her at a quiet time or in a different room but YWBVU to make a rude comment about her dog. Dogs like people are not all the same, some bark more than others and some can be trained not to bark more than others. Unless she's mistreating her dog I don't see any reason why you should be so annoyed about it's training. Just mention that you can't hear her well.

KatieKaye · 14/04/2015 19:17

If it was a child burbling in the background or interrupting with inconsequential things that could easily wait until she was off the phone would you have said "that bloody child"?

ragged · 14/04/2015 19:22

yanbu.

Lavenderice · 15/04/2015 09:21

YABU, you were rude and would have got short shrift from me.

pictish · 15/04/2015 09:27

Yabu to say that and you know it.
Yanbu to think it though - yappy dogs are highly irritating.

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