not sure what to do or am i making a fuss over nothing, but cant relax

10 replies

skinnyabc · 14/04/2015 03:03

Was at a meal earlier at friends house. Room was so warm I decided to go put for five minutes on attempting to return to the room, a nan I only know by sight stood in the doorway blocking me and "you are not going back in" he is big and grabbed both my arms and using his big belly sort of touched me on my front with it.
I feel he held onto my arms too long and doubt he would have done so if anyone was around.
Something makes me feel a bit wrong but can't put my finger on it. I am v quite by nature, shy and unsure.
Just keeping me awake. Part of me says leave it alone but another says complain. Just need to get it downb

OP posts:

VeganCow · 14/04/2015 03:13

He is a maniac, and an abusive one at that. How dare he, you don't even know him and he dares to put his hands on you? You say part of you needs to complain, listen to that part.
What happened after he grabbed your arms?
Did you tell anyone?
I imagine you feel very upset right now, and don't know what to think.

Boutonneux · 14/04/2015 03:13

Sounds like he thought he was being amusing (when it sounds like he was being a creep). Try not to let it upset you OP, he was an arsehole, you did nothing wrong.. his behaviour was inappropriate.

Complain to who? Your friend, the host?

NetworkGuy · 14/04/2015 03:16

Seems pretty clear this has shaken you. Hope you have a good night's sleep and can think clearly in the morning about whether to mention it to the host, or not.

On the one hand, he may have had a drink too many and in his head was just "having a laugh" while on the other hand, he could have plans that include you.

On reflection, just in case he's a potential danger, I think it would be best to ask who he is (and explain why you are asking), so at least the host knows you are s touch concerned. Then, put it behind you.

Original poster

skinnyabc · 14/04/2015 03:20

Thks all will try and get some sleep x

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Crossfitmyarse · 14/04/2015 03:28

What a total dick. Was he very drunk? It sounds like he thought he was being hilarious and flirty but he was just being tedious and inappropriate and more than a bit creepy.

I would definitely tell the mutual friend/host of the party what he did and say that you'll be declining any invitations if he's there in future.

NynaevesSister · 14/04/2015 03:36

In our 20s there was a couple in the group we hung around with where the bloke was like this. Big bloke, big stomach too. He used to do this sort of low level stuff to myself and another girl in the group who was short. Think he really liked the sense of power he got from intimidating. And it was all supposed to just be a bit of fun. It isn't fun when the guy is ten times your size. We just decided to refuse to go to events where he was, and we made it clear why. He thought we were being un necessarily po faced. But I saw that as his problem not ours.

Original poster

skinnyabc · 14/04/2015 03:40

No one was drinking more of a tea party.

OP posts:

Crossfitmyarse · 14/04/2015 03:43

Blimey is he was sober then it's even worse. I think Nynaeves has hit the nail on the head.

Blarblarblar · 14/04/2015 04:08

Are you short skinny as nynaeves said some men just do this. I've found as a fairly petit (very short) person some men have often thought it ok to just pick me up or manuver me in a "jokey way"it's not. They just like to feel all manly, idiots. Im not shy and hated it but for someone shy it would have been hell. I'd just deal with it sternly. When I got together with DH he couldn't believe it actually happened used to get very angry about it. It's stopped now I'm older and have a bigger arse .
Do you feel you could ask your friend about him and tell her what happened could be he has form. Hope you get sleep.

Blarblarblar · 14/04/2015 04:10

Just read that back I'm not condoning it by the way it's horrid and his actions did seem aggressive. Talk to your friend.

Flip