In a nutshell "D"F is my oldest friend, our families know each other well and we were both born and bred in the same area. We lost contact a bit during the ages of 16- 18 because we both went to different sixth for, colleges etc. We still kept in touch and had the occasional night out etc we just weren't in each other's pockets all of the time.
I had my DD 20 months ago and she's been very involved with her and is also very involved with DSD when she's here. She's babysat for us in the past etc.
There's a pretty big back drop to this, she has done/said a lot of things to seemingly cause trouble in the past, all of which I've let slide as I don't think she's been particularly happy since she split from her long term BF 3/4 years ago. She's since been to university, got a good degree and a good job, she's done very well for herself and worked hard for it but she knows this and is very cocky about it. She always has to be the best. She has a lot of qualifications in childcare and I always felt that she thought she was better with them than I was.
When DD was 3 weeks old she told me that my MIL had said "she doesn't have a clue what she's doing" "D"F came straight back and told me what MIL had supposedly said. For a new first time mum who had a 3YO DSD to deal with, a partner who is a farmer and was out from 5am until 11pm at night, only coming back for meals (which I had to cook) because he was making hay, who had seen ever hour for the past 3 weeks because I was trying my best to BF a colicky baby this was like a red rag to a bull. I just broke down. I rang my mum in tears and absolutely went through DP about MIL. My mum and DP both rang "D"F and asked her if MIL really had said this and if so why the hell did she tell a vulnerable new mum. MIL denies to this day that she said any such thing.
I let this slide as I thought that it had perhaps gotten lost in translation.
There's a lot more prior to this too but I'll probably end up drip feeding sorry as I want to get to recent events.
I was round at "D"F's house the other day and her sister was there. There were a few pots in the sink so I thought I'd wash them up for her. "D"F went on to say "oh tidying up, your favourite job keeping your house so spotless". This was a very sarcastic comment, my DP is a farmers no works long hours and who does nothing around the house, we've been calving and lambing for the last two months so it's been all hell and no notion, All I've had time to do is put washing on, cook and wash plates up as we need them. There has been hay and straw, bits of wood from the log burner etc all around the house and yes it has been a mess because I simply haven't had time to do much! I'm on top of it now as we are through the thick of calving named lambing so I'm not needed as much. Anyway her parents have recently bought her this brand spanking new house, which is spotless compared to our ramshackle farm cottage. I just said "oh you should've seen the mess it was in at lambing time" to which "D"F's sister said "oh yes I know, I've seen pictures." "d"F went bright red and I pretended I hadn't taken much notice but this translates to me as though "D"F (who kept DCs occupied a couple of times whilst we were absolutely rushed off our feet) has been taking pictures of our house in the mess that it was and showing them to people, yes admittedly it was a mess but bloody hell, we were all up at stupid and clock and not in bed until about 11am. I feel so humiliated buyt not surprised really as it's the sort of thing I could imagine her doing