AIBU to wonder how.much stuff I'm expected to buy for my bridesmaids?

[thelaststripe]

Ive bought my three bridesmaids their dresses and shoes and I've booked the hair and make up girl for them. Do I also have to give them thank you gifts and if so, what do people give?

What I don't understand is why people are so against bridesmaids paying for their own dresses even if their hair, makeup, shoes, jewellery etc is paid for by the bride. Often the same people however, seem to think it is fine to have the bride buy all the dresses and then expect the bridesmaids to pay for their own hair etc etc etc..

In many cases all the extras can cost as much or more than the dresses themselves.

I personally think it should be between the bride and bridesmaids to discuss what suits them best.

I guess the dress and shoes should be paid for by the b&gm as they're choosing, the same for hair and make up if the bride decides they need it doing for them. If the bridesmaid chooses to have her hair or make up done then it's fair that she pays.

I paid for the dresses because I wanted to choose them and I think if you want to choose you should pay. They were happy to do their own hair and make-up and wear their own shoes. I got them necklaces as a thank-you and also paid for their hotel rooms the night before.

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and that was it. They wore their own shoes, there was no overnight stay involved and I think they brushed their own hair. I thanked them in the speeches but all they had to do was walk up the aisle with me, so not a huge commitment.

I've paid for my bm's dresses and said I'd pay for shoes too.

Intended to make a gift box up, individual for them with champagne, make up, hair things, mirror etc

I made my bridesmaids a present - it was a frame with a picture or record that means a lot to me about them, a thank you note and a photo. I thought it was more personal. 2 of my friends got a rare vinyl copy of the song we always played before we went on a night out. My sis in law got a framed pic of Marilyn Monroe because I always say she reminds me of her. They weren't expensive to put together but I'm hoping they meant a lot to them,

They wore their own jewellery and shoes, I paid for hair and makeup. We went halves on dresses because they were expensive and were cocktail dresses so can be worn again. I do feel guilty about bit paying for whole dresses but when we were looking none if them liked the cheaper dresses and so it ended up being more expensive than predicted. Plus they each got to choose the style they liked - they are very different so there was no way I was going to make them wear matching.

I paid for dresses and hair and they wore shoes they already owned. I bought them perfume for a present.

I can't afford to be as generous as some on here. My bridesmaids have bought their own dresses which are not very expensive and they could Wear again. They can wear any silver sandals of their choice and I will buy their jewellery and pay for their hair and make up

I paid for her dress, I think she paid for shoes, we did our own hair, make-up and nails. I bought her a necklace and earring set to coordinate with the dress, I've seen her wear them many times over the years which is nice.

I've only been one once, I was given a pair of pearl earrings which I wore on my own wedding day a few years later.

Both times I have been bridesmaid I paid for the dress/shoes/hair etc. First time I received a necklace, second time a bracelet. I didn't expect anything and I was fine with paying for own dress/hair etc, even though one dress I definitely could not wear again. I was more honoured to be asked to be part of the wedding!