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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask the GP to sign me off tomorrow? (long, sorry!)

24 replies

reallywittyname · 12/04/2015 16:47

I don't know if IABU, or just a bit too sorry for myself and whether I should just suck it up and get on with it.

I'm 28wks pg and have had pneumonia/chest infection/virus thing since 17wks pg, with three lots of antibiotics and 2 chest x-rays and checks for blood clots because of chest pain (pulled an intercostal muscle from all the coughing). So I've had 11 weeks of coughing - weeks 2/3 were so bad I thought I had flu. But although I'm feeling better than I did then, I'm still knackered. And I have a 2yo DD to run around after which always helps . I'm also working full time, took 6 days off over 2 weeks back at the start of this illness but dragged myself in over the weekends because there was no-one else to cover. I should have got signed off then but I didn't.

The cough which I thought was finally on its way out has come back, so I'm going back to the GP tomorrow morning. Despite not feeling like death warmed up any more, I feel exhausted by the end of each day because of the constant coughing (and retching when I cough), and now that I'm getting bigger I'm running out of "room" to cough IYSWIM. Oh yes - and the SPD has reared its ugly head, so I'm in a fair amount of pain as well.

Added to this is the fact that I've felt completely sidelined by my boss since I got pregnant - not invited to meetings about future planning, where the future starts in April yet I'm not due to start mat leave in June, duties being given to my mat leave cover already, and generally ignored. I don't have the energy to confront my boss about this as she can be very grumpy, unapproachable and curt, and she is the sort of boss who will happily shoot the messenger and take it out on those around her if something doesn't go how she wants it to, regardless of whether they are involved or not. I also have to share an office with her. There is no HR department to take this to either; she's the boss, then the next level after that it's the board of directors. Because of this I have no intention of returning after mat leave but feel as though I shouldn't burn my bridges in case I don't find anything else - so I keep quiet.

My working pattern is as follows:
Weds 10am-6pm
Thurs/Fri 2pm til end (could be 9pm, could be 11pm)
Sat either 9-5 or 2pm til end
Sun 12 noon til end (usually 9 or 10pm)
Mon off - and I have dd all day
Tues off - and I have dd all day

DD is usually up at 6.30/7am so the days I finish late I am then up early with her the next morning. Like on Friday she was up at 6.30am and I didn't get in from work til 11.30pm so it was a looooooong day.

DH works Mon-Weds 8.30-5 and Thurs/Fri 7.30-4 to be in time to pick up DD from nursery. He is great and really supportive but he is out of the house at 7.30/6.30 every morning and our working patterns mean that we are like ships in the night and never really get a break. He is tired too (but he hasn't been ill and he isn't pg, lucky bugger). I also feel really guilty that DD is watching too much Peppa Pig because I'm too tired to do nice things with her . We don't have any family close by who can help out either.

I've said to work that I'll start mat leave at 36 weeks but I'm so fed up with feeling rubbish from being ill and starting to feel the effects of getting bigger that I just wonder if I should sob on the doctor and get signed off for a couple of weeks? I feel like such a moaning minnie.

well done if you got this far!

OP posts:

capsium · 12/04/2015 16:58

I would.

What about starting maternity leave earlier if this is better for you? Then towards the end of mat leave, I would look for a different job. Your working pattern sounds exhausting for someone who is fit and healthy. Is there anything you could do with your finances which means you would not have to work so much/ so late?

capsium · 12/04/2015 16:59

Why do you think you might not find anything else? Missed that bit. What do you do?

Welshmaenad · 12/04/2015 17:00

God yes, get signed off for two weeks, send dd to nursery and rest, you poor love.

At the end of the two weeks you can decide if you want to return for your final six weeks or take more time off. But your body is crying for rest, listen to it.

Original poster

reallywittyname · 12/04/2015 17:05

I work in a small rural theatre/cinema, capsium so the chances of me finding something similar are very slight! Also I earn buttons and the hours, although they are antisocial, mean that we don't have to spend all my income on childcare. Another reason for sucking it up I guess.

OP posts:

RachieS1986 · 12/04/2015 17:06

yes definitely take the time off. I had a similar chest infection October/November time around the same stage as you. dr automatically signed me off for a week when I eventually went to see her. I did realise how ill I was and how bad I felt until half way through the week off and the antibiotic kicked in and I started to feel normal again. even then it was a good month after until it cleared completely. u need to look after yourself and little one.

Viviennemary · 12/04/2015 17:07

Yes you should get signed off. You will get no thanks for going in when you are not well.

capsium · 12/04/2015 17:18

Ah, I see, witty.

I'd get signed off and see how you feel. Taking your maternity leave earlier should not effect your job though, pregnancies can be unpredictable.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 12/04/2015 17:23

A friend told me that no one would hand me a badge at the end of my pregnancy (which was nowhere near as troublesome as yours) if I dragged myself into work every day when I had bad morning sickness and other things going on. She was right. No one will thank you!

Get yourself booked off. YANBU!

theaveragebear1983 · 12/04/2015 18:56

Good grief yes, I am amazed you've managed so long already! I had a friend who was signed off for 20 weeks with SPD and it was only at 36 weeks when they could actually start the maternity leave as it was preg. Related sickness. Good luck

AmateurSeamstress · 12/04/2015 19:17

Get yourself signed off. Please. You need to get that chest infection under control and trying to do that while working FT is not, erm, working.

people will remember your absence a lot less than you being under par and struggling.

giraffesCantBunnyHop · 12/04/2015 19:42

I think you should take some time off to recover properly. Or else you might get worse again

daisychain01 · 12/04/2015 19:45

The most important thing is your health. I would focus on rebuilding your strength if I were you.

YANBU

QueenCardigan · 12/04/2015 19:50

You need to check your maternity policy though. Some say that if you need to be off sick towards the end that they can make you start your mat leave earlier instead.

Blueskybrightstar · 12/04/2015 20:05

Jeebus lady, you are pushing it WAY WAY too hard. Yes sign off sick. You crazy fool. Why are you even asking?! Getting this sick is your body's attempt at trying to FORCE you to rest, but you didn't and the cough/illness will hang around pretty permanently and get a lot worse if you don't slow down. Plus there's a little one for your body to support now. That's without even figuring in the stressful workplace environment you are facing right now. 100% get signed off then look for new job because right now you are doing a serious number on your health and this present state of affairs isn't going to improve, it will only get worse.

Original poster

reallywittyname · 12/04/2015 20:16

Right, I am going to get me a sick note. Are they easy to come by? I've never had one before. The last time I was off sick (before this) was when I had a miscarriage and even then I was only off four days.

thank you everyone

OP posts:

Babymamamama · 12/04/2015 20:23

Doc will def sign you off sick. You are pregnant and ill. Being signed off in last four weeks of pregnancy may trigger start of maternity leave. That's what happened with me. In any case just and put your feet up.

FantasticRik · 12/04/2015 20:33

Yes OP - ask the GP to sign you off and use the time to have a good rest!

It sounds as though you have a spotless sick record so I'm sure this won't affect your job in the future if you do decide to return after may leave.

Have some from me.

SunbathingCat · 12/04/2015 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cocolepew · 12/04/2015 20:49

God lord yes, phone or see your dr tomorrow if you need one straight away.

maddening · 12/04/2015 20:55

What job do you do at the theatre - is it a skill base that would work in a different industry?

2rebecca · 12/04/2015 21:57

Many GPs won't sign you off for the first week and just tell you to sign a self certificate for the first week and come back a week later if your last certificate was 2-3 months ago. Worth getting checked over but she may tell you to do a self cert and return in a week

Original poster

reallywittyname · 14/04/2015 21:54

Lovely doctor signed me off for a fortnight immediately and told me to do lots of nice things and not mope about. I could've kissed her (I didn't)

OP posts:

KatyLovesKats · 14/04/2015 22:03

That is brilliant news! Enjoy yourself! And feel better! x

Cocolepew · 14/04/2015 23:03

Good news, feel better soon

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