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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not unreasonable to let a 16 year old go abroad without adults?

41 replies

Junzuki · 12/04/2015 14:16

My 16 year old wants to fly to Germany in the summer after his exams. He's paying for it himself, going with a couple of friends and staying at a friends family home. He speaks german quite well, is a responsible, mature kid and I trust him. Aibu to let him go?? Also at 16 (almost17) is he legally allowed to go without my consent anyway?

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 12/04/2015 14:20

Staying with friends family or just staying in friends family house? If the former yes fine, if the latter, no way!

Ludways · 12/04/2015 14:22

Is be fine with it, if he's generally a sensible and responsible person, why not?

Theas18 · 12/04/2015 14:23

Agree with ocelot.

Mintyy · 12/04/2015 14:23

Will there be any adults living in the house?

mamapain · 12/04/2015 14:25

Completely fine. My teens have all started holidaying alone around this age.

Get him good travel insurance though, at that age they need a good fallback if they lose money/luggage etc

mamapain · 12/04/2015 14:26

Just to confirm, I presumed no adults on site.

Bowlersarm · 12/04/2015 14:28

I wouldn't allow it, with no adult.

SoonToBeSix · 12/04/2015 14:28

If the friends family will be their and responsible for him yes, otherwise no. 16 is not an adult , 18 is an an adult.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 12/04/2015 14:33

I first went on holiday abroad, alone, with a friend when I was 16. Depends on the maturity of the kid I think.

Lavenderice · 12/04/2015 14:35

Absolutely fine, I went on holiday with friends at this age. It'll be really good for him.

mariamin · 12/04/2015 14:36

Yes fine. I first went on holiday with friends at 16. No problems at all. Just make sure he has travel insurance.

Triliteral · 12/04/2015 14:38

He could legally have left home and married if he had been so inclined. Give him a safety net in case there are problems, then enjoy the time you will have without him.

My son travelled to his grandparents overseas alone when he was fourteen. He's seventeen now (almost eighteen) and left home to live in a flat last summer (it's normal here in Norway for children to go to high school away from home).

i thought it might be disastrous, but he's actually matured massively through the experience. Obviously if there are major reasons to expect trouble, it might be different. But there's no reason a boy of sixteen shouldn't manage perfectly well.

newbieman1978 · 12/04/2015 14:38

I'd want there to be some adults around, at least where they are staying. Adults I consider to be responsible ie friends parents. At 16 I'd need to know someone was keeping an eye on them, asking where they were going, when they'd be back ect.. Making sure there wasn't any excessive behaviour.

16 to me means still under parental supervision... They have plenty of time to go crazy in Ibiza when they turn 18! I'm not looking forward to that :-/

Eastpoint · 12/04/2015 14:39

Absolutely fine. Dd1 has been going to stay with friends since she was 14.

susiedaisy · 12/04/2015 14:45

If there was adults/parents in the house yes. But if not then no not at 16.

streakybacon · 12/04/2015 14:47

Depends on the 16 year old. They're all different, and not all would manage independently. Only you can know, OP.

Icimoi · 12/04/2015 14:47

Absolutely fine. I did something similar when I was 16.

DoItTooJulia · 12/04/2015 14:51

I started going away at 15 on my own, but it was with my friend whose mum had moved to Spain. (She lived with her older sister). My friend would go for the school holidays and I would fly out and join her for a week.

It was brilliant: we went clubbing and got drunk at night and lolled around the pool or went to the beach in the day. I'm not sure I'd let my son do it now though! Funny, isn't it?

MissBattleaxe · 12/04/2015 15:11

I wouldn't. Look what DoItTooJulia got up too! Smile

Janethegirl · 12/04/2015 15:16

At 16 you can marry etc so I can't see a problem. He also speaks the language, so can ask for help if necessary.
Adults aren't necessarily more responsible just because they are over 18 Grin

DurhamDurham · 12/04/2015 15:19

I let my two girls go away at that age, I was lucky in they wanted to go away with each other so they looked after each other.

If your son is sensible and knows where to turn should he need help then you could consider letting home go.

All families are different though so don't feel pressured into doing something you aren't happy with.

Satsumafairy · 12/04/2015 15:21

Of course it's ok! At 16 I went to the other side of the world to live with another family for a year!

SwedishEdith · 12/04/2015 15:23

If you think he's mature enough, then yes, can't see how it'll be too different to when he's 17.

catsandstuff · 12/04/2015 15:35

oh god, i went to malia when i was 16! my parents must be terrible Hmm.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/04/2015 15:38

My ds2 went on holiday to Brussels last year aged just 17 with his mates, all was well and he came back in one piece!

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