If fairy tales were on AIBU

[OrlandoWoolf]

AIBU to call social services? Just got back from a lovely walk. The porridge has been eaten, there's chairs broken and there's a little girl asleep alone in my DS's bed. No sign of any parents.

WWYD?

(plenty of scope for wicked step mums here. And a bit of feminism as well )

parking update
the carriage has gone - what a palaver at midnight too ! I hope the venue doesn’t get a licence when its up for renewal !
and I have a dent in my car - from running over a large pumpkin someone left in the road and my front garden seems to be infested with mice - do you think I could take them to the small claims court?

Excellent, darkness Clear up the mess and send the bill for repairs to that Prince who's going around clutching a glass shoe. It was his fault.

I took my dd to the hv today who expressed concerns about her weight.

She's 5 months, ebf, about the size of my thumb.

HV says top up with formula but I'm wondering if magic might work better?

AIBU to ignore DS and his dramas? He keeps claiming he sees wolves but he's clearly just attention seeking. I wonder if it's the legacy of being bottle fed...?

My wife and I are of larger than usual size and have therefore built our house to be private away from prying eyes. Recently, a local lad came to our house and he appears to have befriended my wife. Should I be suspicious. Also I notice that after each visit something has gone missing from the house, be it a golden goose, or my harp that plays itself.

Would I be unreasonable to grind his bones to make my bread?

AIBU to marry a guy I just met today? My DSis says I am. But its true love!

Grins, he is making a fool of your wife and she's making a fool of you. YWBVR to grind him, especially as English bonemeal is a great flour improver.

Any chance you could trade your wife in for the goose?

Whenever we host a family barbecue, DD goes missing for ages. I never see her leave our house, but she comes back in a right state - dishevelled, often with her clothes torn and muddy. Once I thought she was covered in blood, but it turned out to be jam. She rambles about going down rabbit holes, drinking potions that alter reality and dormice in teapots. She's on drugs, isn't she? :( Does anyone know if "mad hatter" is code for a dealer?

"What have you made use of that you learned on Mumsnet"
Isnt it amazing what you learn on mumsnet..
I was speed dating the other day and this bloke introduced himself as Mr Thrushbeard ! well I wasnt happy about that
quick as anything I threw a pot of yoghurt over his face
now he says I can call him Mr Grateful !
(too obscure?)

Does anybody on here know how to stop my dogs barking. They went mad when the tramps went by the gate yesterday !!! They seemed to have smelt them miles off!

Can anyone give me the name of a good hypnotist? My daughter is terrified of spiders and yesterday she spotted one whilst eating the lovely meal of curds and wey I had made her. The whole bldy dish went up and she ran off leaving me to clean up the mess!!!

I'm a little frog. Definitely a frog.No desire to be a Prince or anything.
Anyway this scorpion wants a lift across the river. AIBU to refuse? He says he won't sting me as he'll then drown - AIBU to judge all scorpions based on previous actions of some or should I believe him?

I moved in with my seven mates recently. I'm the only woman and it's like they expect me to do every fucking thing around the house just because I'm a woman. Yeah they let me live there rent free, yes they work all day doing a pretty hard labour job, and yes they put up with all my pets and stuff fluttering about the place, but AIBU to think that they could do more around the house?

They all follow the same script, Orlando. They can't help themselves. Don't fall for it! You will anyway.

I got the yoghurt bit, darkness, but had to look up Thrushbeard! You're a snooty little so-and-so, aren't you?

AIBU in thinking that DH's Disney parenting is getting beyond a joke.

DSD has always been 'flighty' - spends all day twittering with the birds but recently she's really crossed a line with her reckless behaviour.
The most recent is her moving in with 7 men. DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and am just jealous of her beauty.

AIBU to say that he needs to step up to the plate and stop letting her get away with this behaviour? And she stole my mirror!

textfan - the stories are:

12 Dancing Princesses and The Red Shoes (synopses).

Not familiar with the attempted incest one, but there would appear to be a few variations on that one!

AIBU to cut DD hair for having a secret boyfriend?

I live with my DD in the outskirts of town, I'm not very popular with the locals so I homeschool DD, (well tbh we don't go out much I prefer to keep her esp with all these newspaper reports of girls being eaten by wolves/trolls under bridges etc). DD is 16, bright girl but immature and recently confided in me that she cant fit into her clothes, and she's feeling sick all the time, its been like this for a few months i thought she might of had flu so i took her to doctors and we took a urine sample just in case it was a water infection. To my horror she's pregnant! Pregnant! And to top it off, we went for a scan and its twins. I couldn't understand how as I don't allow any visitors (and i keep DD locked away) well to my horror she told me that she met this boy who she allowed up in her room a few times. I'm so angry. I cut her hair off (she had beautiful hair) and now shes not talking to me, AIBU?

Relationships

I have a friend, let's call him GH, who is refusing to get a job. I work really hard to have enough money to save for a rainy day but he just prances about singing without a care in the world. He has no discernable income so I can only assume he's on benefits but he still seems to be living the high life. It's so unfair that I spend all day long, for months at a time, working non-stop so I can be self-sufficient but GH seems to think it's ok not to have any back-up plan & not to bother even looking for a job. Should I point out to him that he's going to get old one day & he'll have nothing saved for the winter of his years if he doesn't plan for his retirement now? I think I'm going to have to distance myself from the friendship anyway or I can see myself having to bail him out in the future.

Help! How can I get DS to see sense? The backstory is that friend & I set up our DC - it was so cute seeing them growing up together. They didn't seem keen initially but after a while they fell in love. The wedding was all arranged but one night she & her DF were in a car accident. Her DF was killed but her body has never been found. DS is adamant that she's still alive & keeps talking about trying to find her, as if she's been kidnapped. Personally, I think either she caused the accident & ran off because she didn't want to marry DS or, in the unlikely event that she was kidnapped, realistically, she's probably dead by now anyway. I've tried introducing him to other attractive girls but he's just not interested. I'm not getting any younger & I do want to see him settled down - I'd love a couple of grandkids to continue the family line. How can I make him forget her?

Gnu, I have a friend like that! I call mine JC. He's not so much into the dancing, but he's always singing and just floats around, telling stories and the like. He's technically homeless and stays with randoms he meets along the way. He's very good at making people feel better, so they put him and his friends up for days at a time. Then he moves on. Mine says he's not bothered about a pension because his dad owns the world & everything in it (he is homeless, ffs!) and he's going to live in his father's palace "after he's dead"

I'm a bit worried about his mental health, tbh. But he does have a way about him.

• I don't know who GH is?

I have an employee who just won't stop complaining about other people's success. He's really jealous of anyone I praise & is very vocal in his displeasure if I'm perceived to be favouring anyone over him. Would it be too extreme to turn him upside down & bury his head in the ground? I know that sounds a bit harsh but he was literally nothing before I came along. All his success he owes to me but I've not had one word of thanks, just constant whinging when other people do well. I'm so fed up & can't stand the sound of his voice anymore - if I bury his head then I'll never have to listen to him again!

Gralick at least JC sounds like he has a plan of sorts! GH just keeps telling me that he's got loads of time left & seems oblivious to how quickly the time goes. He also mocks me for being somewhat smaller than him - his nickname for me is "Little Ant". Tbh, now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I've put up with him for so long. Maybe I should just go NC. I bet that wouldn't stop him turning up on my doorstep when he runs out of food though.