to have reservations about sending secondhand clothes to refugees abroad

[LarrytheCucumber]

A friend of mine has co-ordinated a collection of clothes for refugees in Iraq.
The people the clothes are going to are in desperate need, but having seen some of the items which have been donated I wonder if we are really doing the right thing, spending money to send our unwanted clothes.

For the person who donated it that may be the best coat they could send. And when you're sitting freezing in a tent you will take anything to keep you warm.

I'm actually incredibly angry with you OP, because you seem to have very little idea of the conditions in the camps but you are taking unilateral decisions about what shouldn't go from your Ivory Tower because your too dim to realise that someone who is freezing and wearing dirty clothes is not going to be outraged by a missing button. If the things are good enough for a charity shop send them with the donations.

Return all the items that were donated to your friend and allow someone who has better knowledge than you to sort what makes the cut.

You have no right to take donations from the collection out of it, you are bang out of order and are effectively stealing.

Incidentally rags can be sold on by weight for recycling which raises cash which could fund transporting the gear. Perhaps your friend was considering this? But this is not your stuff, you're looking after it and you have no right to dispose of it without the consent of the organiser.

Indeed? What do you think would be needed for people who've fled their homes with basically the clothes they're standing up in and have completed a long arduous and dirty journey to get to the camp? It doesn't take the brain or Einstein to work out that clothing would be a primary need.

Send everything... It is their choice to reject it at the end of the day. It is not for you to judge really.

I have been in touch with the person who started the charity and have not done anything without their consent.

Larry, sounds like you are doing the best you can. Given the cost of shipping I agree it is a waste to send tat, but coats (for example) will be really needed, so anything like that could be cleaned up a bit is probably worth sending. Stained T shirts not so much.

Please send everything. I think you're being really naive. If you reject a stained shirt you might be depriving someone of the only shirt they'll have.

I live in a developing country and poverty here is endemic. I am involved with a charity that organises clothes donations to slum areas, they even ask people to donate their holey socks, they wouldn't give a shit of there were stains or cat hair.

my dh helped a Nigerian man to ship some stuff to
Africa, he couldn't believe how much stuff there was. nothing is wasted and what we think of as tat is not to them.

however I would try to give reasonable stuff and would be embarrassed to donate dirty things.

It costs £7,000 plus to send a lorry, which has to be paid for, presumably by some form of fundraising unless a local firm donate use of their lorry.

manic

They really wouldn't care if it has stains or hair on, these are people with nothing. Every donation will count!

I lived in the Middle East and a poor person would be so grateful for a cat hair covered coat, they would see the positives in it.. One mans junk is anothers treasure.

This thread hasn't helped me with my dilemma.
Apparently I should have sent the manky coat.
I also should have sent the odd shoes, the trousers with a massive split in the fabric right across the back, I shouldn't have bothered to sew buttons on the trousers because although they would fall down refugees would be grateful for anything.
I am not sure which is the most problematic view here. Mine is 'send the best' whereas there is clearly an 'anything is good enough' view.
DH and I have spent ages discussing this and in the end we have to go with our original view. Just because a person is desperate it doesn't mean we have to send unusable clothes.

"I lived in the Middle East and a poor person would be so grateful for a cat hair covered coat, they would see the positives in it.. One mans junk is anothers treasure."

No doubt. But it says something particulqrly unpleasant about the donor of said coat that they didn't think it was worth getting the cat hair off before donating it. Presumably they would have given it a brush before lending it to a frind on a chilly day? Why not extend the same courtesy to "a poor person"?

Agreed Hakluyt.

Nobody said that you shouldn't have sewn on buttons. Just that if you hadn't they would still have been usable. Ripped trousers can be sewn and fabric reused to make clothes for smaller people. That's the first I've read about odd shoes. Obviously they're not usable. Completely unusable items can go.

But you said earlier that you were removing items and giving them to UK charity shops (so not unusable). You also said you were rejecting items which needed small adjustments like a clean.

You say you've not been helped with your dilemma but you've been repeatedly told on this thread by people who have first hand experience that you are rejecting items which would be needed and appreciated. You've chosen to ignore all this advice from people who know far better than you. IMO This means you are effectively stealing from the refugees and the people who gave in good faith. You're also wasting donations if you send a half empty container (which will be transported at considerable personal risk to those taking it)

Give the stuff up to somebody more practical and sensible. You've obviously led a very sheltered life and lack the imagination to realise how far removed from your own life the reality of the recipients lives is.

I'm sorry, what your doing is completely wrong. Best case scenario you will delay a desperately needed donation. Worst case scenario you will deplete or devalue a delivery which someone else will risk their lives to deliver. Absolutely morally wrong.

Hi OP can I have just returned from the region (my husband is originally from there) and we took some donated clothes with us form the uk by car.

Can i ask you who you are sending the donated goods to as pp are right in that you don't want it to fall into the wrong hands and end up being sold in a market somewhere (i have seen what I think is this in markets). My BIL works for a very good charity called save the children kurdistan which i where we took our donated goods to swell as some money. They are a very good charity and collect donations and distribute them to camps in the region as well as other work in the community. they have several offices and would be more than happy to help if you wanted to send donations to them.

Also you mentioned it costing 7k or more to send the items by lorry. Do you know the weight of the items you wish to send as there is a company called SHA post which has depots across the uk and the last time i sent some clothes to my nieces and nephews they charged me 1.25 per kilo. It may work out cheaper for you this way depending on how much you have to send.

As PP have said please send everything, everything is needed and I have seen first hand how grateful the recipients are.

I agree Halykut, try to improve their difficult life as much as you can i.e. wash clothes, brush off cat hair, etc

As I said before I got into it by accident. I agreed to take items to a local depot because I had a big enough car. Unfortunately due to a misunderstanding I cannot take it to the depot until next week as there is a backlog.
The person who started the charity wants to follow the 'send the best' line.
Don't worry I fully intend to bow out as soon as I can.
I am not responsible for the way it will be transported.
DH worked for an aid charity and has delivered aid, but not to this region, so whilst I am in no way an expert I have had a little experience.
There is no question of lorries going unless they are full, and there is currently more aid ready to go than the charity can send.
Thank you Twinkle. I assume the person who started the charity has looked into transport costs.
Thank you all for your input, Larry

"you are rejecting items which would be needed and appreciated."

No. She is rejecting items which will be replaced by better items. I'm my experince there is never a shortage of donated clothes. Sorting out the stuff that can go for rags in advance is just sensible.

Oxfam accept clothes in all conditions- unsuitable ones they will use for rags and still make some money off. So still worth donating to them no matter what the condition (I believe other charity shops will just throw out stuff though).

Hakluyt that is definitely the case here.

A friend of a friend organises shipping containers to go out to countries in Africa twice a year. They collect furniture from schools that are being refurbished (and would otherwise be thrown away in landfill), to go schools/orphanages, and fundraise the cost of shipping it out there. They collect clothes, shoes and toys to pack around the furniture and they ask for donations in ANY condition because the places they are sending it to are so poor. As other posters have said they often only have the clothes they are wearing and little else. The clothes are not sold, they will be given to the children in orphanages or handed out at vaccination centres for example.

We have very high standards in the west - clothes with a stain, or worn shoes, we would reject. The lady I spoke to has been out there and says they will literally use everything - nothing is wasted. Clothes that are torn will be remade into something else. I was worried too as it seems we are sending our scraps but after talking to her she said send everything. I had put all my donations in those large laundry bags and she said they would be thrilled with them.

It does make me feel sometimes how wasteful our life in the West is - I often replace things when they look 'scruffy' when in reality I shouldn't care - I can't help it though.

I always make sure I don't send anything dirty though - I do have standards!

On another point we sponsored a family in Togo in Africa and when we got the photos of the family, the father was in rags - his trousers were literally hanging off. Considering he was having his photo taken I guess he didn't have any others. It was a bit of an eye opener for my kids.

OP I think you are probably worrying too much, but you are doing a great job by helping, don't 'bow out' ! I thought it was quite sweet that you were sewing the buttons on!

Thank you Donteat. I was thinking that if they fled with nothing that we couldn't assume there would be sewing machines, or even needles and thread to start with! No doubt someone will come along and berate me for my ignorance or naivity again but I do watch items on the news and online to see if I can learn more.

Yes Larry. It's really quite patronising to assume someone would be delighted with something we wouldn't go near ourselves, just because they're poor and in need. Whatever happened to dignity and respect?

A few years ago I was involved with collecting bras to send to South Africa (SA government don't allow donations at the moment because so meany were actually sold) and mentioned it to a student a couple of years later because she ran an orphanage in SA.

She said I should have sent the pants as well. I was pretty 'yuck' about second hand pants, but then I've always had pants.

LarrytheCucumber

Do you have to actually spend money to get the clothes out there? South African airways carried the bras free of charge as long as someone met the parcel at the airport.

Yes the organiser is raising funds to send the aid. I am a long way from the place the charity is based, I don't know how my friend got involved and although I have been in touch with the organiser and watch their fb page I am not actually part of the organisation.