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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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9 replies

GertyD · 10/04/2015 19:33

Long story short, my 16 year old DS ran away on Monday. He has been in touch to say he is okay, but he wants space and won't say where he is or when he will be back. He won't tell me why he has run off either. Only that he can't be himself at home and he has an issue with the family that he won't share. I have called the police who have traced him and spoken to him via a third party and they have told me he is safe and well but won't disclose where he is or bring him home.

This is completely out of character for him, and to say we are shocked is an understatement. He has Aspergers Syndrome, and has really struggled with his GCSE's. I have been worried sick. We think he is with a girl he was seeing last year but can't be sure. His mates are saying they don't know her address but we don't believe them.

Anyway, the AIBU is regarding DH's aunt. I have previously posted about her. I had agreed to attend a show with her last night and a champagne canapés thing after. We were going with a group of her friends, so not just us. Anyway, I cancelled because I don't want to watch a sodding show and drink champagne whilst my son is God knows where and I have no idea why he has gone. She got sniffy but was ok-ish.

I am supposed to be going as her plus one to a 40th party tomorrow night that involves an overnight stay in a hotel and hours drive away. I have told her I don't feel I can go. I want to be home in case my DS comes back. I am tearful and stressed and worried out of my mind. The Aunt has chucked a huff. I have let her down AGAIN. I should just get over it. I am being ridiculous apparently, the police have said he is not dead so what is my issue?

I really thought she would understand that I would be too upset to go partying with her.

AIBU to want to stay home in case my DS decides to come home.

Disclaimer: I have paid my way totally and owe her nothing.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 10/04/2015 19:36

Of course YANBU. I would be worried sick in your shoes. I hope your son is safe and well. I will be thinking of you Flowers

TooTiredToThinkOfAUsername · 10/04/2015 19:37

???? "I should just get over it. I am being ridiculous apparently, the police have said he is not dead so what is my issue?"

Unbelievable!

How old is this woman?! She is being incredibly selfish and unreasonable. Yadnbu!

I am so sorry - what a stressful and scary situation for you. I hope DS comes home soon. Big hugs to you!

Bogeyface · 10/04/2015 19:38

Definitely NBU, and at least now you know what an utter bitch your Aunt is, so you wont make the mistake of having anything to do with her in future.

I hope he comes home soon xx

GertyD · 10/04/2015 19:40

She is 65 years old. I know She is incredibly lonely since her husband died 3.5 years ago, and it is her grief/loneliness/depression that motivates this behaviour, but this time it is really taking the biscuit.

OP posts:
peppapigonaloop · 10/04/2015 19:43

I remember your other thread about this aunt and some of her crazy behaviour..this seems like probably more evidence that you need to distance from her somewhat..

peppapigonaloop · 10/04/2015 19:43

Oh and sorry about your son I hope it all works out ok Flowers

GertyD · 10/04/2015 19:59

Thanks. When someone says something so strong and so confidently, you begin to doubt your own mind.

OP posts:
ScrumpyBetty · 10/04/2015 20:05

Of course you are not being unreasonable OP. You are under a huge amount of stress and anyone with a few grains of empathy ought to understand that. Sorry for all you are going through, hoping DS comes home to you soon Flowers

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/04/2015 20:05

BunbAker took the words out of my mouth.
I can't imagine what you're going through. Although your ds has called and said he's okay. I know you just want to put your arms around him.
We're all here to hold your hand

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