To feel so self loathing

[notnow2]

I am 5ft 6 and weigh 11 stone. I disgust myself now the warmer weather is here. I obviously know I can lose weight if I try but I am really struggling - I have 3 kids - 2 at infant school and 1 3 year old. I work 3 days a week and my DH is out 8am - 8pm. I feel constantly busy - always running around. I am a mess and hate how fat I am.

I've spent a lot of my adult life feeling like this, it's shit. You can fake done self confidence but then something happens to knock you back down again.

The only thing that has helped me is losing weight. It's hard, finding the time is hard but start by controlling your diet. Low carb is good and you'll get quick results. The best thing to improve your image is exercise though. It's amazing how it transforms you. Try doing the shred, it takes half an hour and does work. Good luck. Imagine if you start today you'll look and feel significantly better by summer.

You're not fat. You're lighter than my target weight. I think your problem is low self esteem brought on by tiredness, feeling somewhat neglected & a sense of not having time for yourself. Be kind to yourself, get outside with the kids as much as possible, eat more salad now the weather is nicer. Don't worry about your weight & see what happens.

After many years of trying to lose weight then putting it back on I've finally realised that more often than not I overeat to deal with tricky emotional feelings. I'm never going to solve my weight problem until I find an alternative outlet to deal with stress, anxiety, gulit etc. Maybe you are the same? Weight loss won't take away all out problems - just saying so maybe a healthy diet coupled with a bit of self help is an idea. I'm reading a book called Stop Overeating by Dr Jane McCartney atm which is really helping me look at weight loss in whole new way by identifying my earing triggers step by step.
Good luck and go easy on yourself please.

Hi Op, I honestly think that whether you lose weight or not you need to work more on feeling good about yourself and focussing on your positives. You don't sound massively overweight. I appreciate that you feel unhappy and want to change things but before you do please try to remind yourself that you are a good person with many great qualities and that you have no reason to self loathe. Being I overweight does not make you any less valuable as a human being.

I wear a Fitbit and concentrate in being as active as possible. I also try not to snack. I'm slightly overweight according to the BMI thing but I feel very comfortable in my own skin and that is the most important thing to me.

I'm not saying don't lose weight I'mjust saying do not your weight make you feel inferior.

Unless your bone structure is very small you're really not fat. You are top end of a normal range BMI.

"I feel constantly busy"

I also think that stress and a drop in self esteem is the root issue.

I've always found exercise increases confidence, but only you can work out if you can fit it in.

Your around my goal weight, I'm 5'3, but lift weights, The cardio I do is dog walking and Wii fit dance.

Handing u a grip in the nicest possible way. I'm 5'5 and sitting happy at 12st after 3 kids. Have same life as u with work and dh works away. Biggest thing is buy yourself some nice clothed that flatter. I'm very keen on knee length tunics and dresses. They make you look thinner and a bit more dressed up. People asked me if I lost weight when changed style but it's just wearing dresses. Got a new hair do too.

Life's too short to worry too much about weight. Make the most of what you have

I'm 5' 6" and your weight is my goal weight. I'd kill to weigh what you do.

I was constantly busy with four young dcs, uni and keeping the house going while dh works away most weeks. My problem was the mid afternoon slump where I'd be reaching for the chocolate.

I've stopped eating chocolate and chips and started slowly reducing my portions.

The 30 day shred is brilliant when you don't have much time. It takes 25 minutes including warm up and cool down and it works. I've been doing it five days a week for six weeks and have lost 7lbs and can see a difference in how I look. I'm slowly getting closer to what I weighed a few years ago which is a bit disheartening as I was still overweight then but it's going the right way.

I'm still far from happy with how I look but even the small loss that I've managed has massively boosted my confidence.

Step away from the scales! Try prepping healthy snacks and lunches in advance. What about activities with the kids like going for a long walk or swimming? And definitely do something that makes you feel better about yourself like buying some nice clothes or having your hair done.

In the nicest possible way, you need to get a grip.

You may weigh more than you'd like, but I doubt anyone would call you fat and your comments don't help those on here who are genuinely overweight and struggling with self esteem.

Cutting out carbs is a quick and easy fix as is wearing a Fitbit to ensure you get your 10,000 steps in every day.

OP you're not fat. Do you think losing a stone or whatever, would make you happy?

You may weigh more than you'd like, but I doubt anyone would call you fat and your comments don't help those on here who are genuinely overweight and struggling with self esteem.

I don't think it's fair to make the OP responsible for other people's self esteem, especially when she's having trouble coping with her own.

The OP may well be fat because she could be carrying most of her weight in one place, like her stomach for example.

notnow2 do you have anyone who can give you a break from your 3yr old now and again? Does your DH work 8am-8pm at weekends too?

It sounds like you need some 'you' time and perhaps then you might be able to work out a tone-up routine? This would be more productive than being so hard on yourself.