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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dishcloth Dilemma: AIBU to ask my mum not to wipe baby's face with a dishcloth?

58 replies

WednesdayRebel · 09/04/2015 22:49

AIBU to ask my mum not to wipe baby's face with a dishcloth?

Let me start by saying that my mum is NOT what you'd call a germphobe. She genuinely believes in the beneficial properties of exposure to healthy doses of all sorts of grime. Builds the immunity and all that.

Now let me say that I don't disagree with her - to an extent. I'm aware of theories that suggest rising allergies and so on are the fault of us living in overly sterile environments. And my house is hardly pristine.

But one thing Mum's been doing is beyond my capacity to cope with. She uses her dishcloth from the sink, the same one she uses for doing the dishes, to wipe up ANYTHING around the kitchen/dining/living areas of the house. Off floors, tables, surfaces, whatever. And she has a dog. And a cat.

It's not what I'd do, but it doesn't bother me.

Until she insists on using the same dishcloth to wipe my baby's hands and FACE every time she eats.

Did I mention that she uses this same cloth to clean up dog spillages from the floor?

I recently asked her not to, then pointed out that she was still doing it after I'd asked her not to, and that this was upsetting both me and my husband.

She got all shirty, defensive and aggressive, and told me that she does some things out of habit and can't be expected to change. I've spoken to her a couple of times since and both times she's been really off.

So AIBU in asking her not to use the dirty dishcloth to wipe my baby's mouth with? Or am I being pedantic?

OP posts:
Ilovenannyplum · 09/04/2015 22:50

YANBU
ShockConfusedShock

SomeSunnySunday · 09/04/2015 22:53

Oh dear god YANBU. I remember seeing an interview with Prof Hugh Pennington around the time of a big EColi (or similar) outbreak where he said that dishcloths and tea towels were major breeding grounds for bacteria. Make her stop!!!!

BigBirthdayGloom · 09/04/2015 22:54

Yanbu. That's revolting. And I am definitely not fussy about germs. Id rather leave my child's face I wiped than use a dish cloth.

Sunnymeg · 10/04/2015 15:55

It is probably a generational thing, and she hasn't even thought about it. My mum always used to wipe my face with the dishcloth and I swore I would never do it to my son, not because of the germs, but because I hated it!

Imnotaslimjim · 10/04/2015 15:58

YANBU that's disgusting. Even using the same cloth for dog and dishes is a bit grim, but I certainly wouldn't then use it on a DC

muminhants · 10/04/2015 15:58

Probably no less disgusting that spitting on a hanky and then wiping your child's face with it...and yes it happened to me...

YANBU

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 10/04/2015 16:03

YANBU. My mum does the same thing. Uses the dishcloth for wiping the floor and immediately uses the same cloth for doing the dishes or wiping the kids' faces. Gross. I don't have the answer though, I have never been able to make her change. I'm just hyper vigilant and make sure I swoop in to wipe with a clean cloth before she gets her manky dish rag anywhere close to them!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 10/04/2015 16:06

Agree with the pp who says it's a generational thing. My mum used to wipe my face with a dishcloth and I hated it. She did it once and once only to one of mine and I said please not to do it again and she didn't. There are wipes for wiping faces now. Much more hygienic and fresher.

HagOtheNorth · 10/04/2015 16:07

No, you are being perfectly reasonable and she's not. She shouldn't be using the same dishcloth for the floor and the dishes, let alone on a baby and the floor. My mum would find that minging and she's always been a devotee of building up immune systems through a healthy level of dirt.
Even if you didn't have a good reason for not wanting her to do something, it's your baby and you get to set the rules, not your mother.
Keep persisting and ignore the defensiveness

MNpostingbot · 10/04/2015 16:07

Yanbu, I'm all in favour of letting them build up a bit of resistance "we drank out the water butt as kids and im ok" etc etc

But with the pets as well this would be too much for me

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 10/04/2015 16:08

AND I bought her some wipes to keep at her place so there was really no excuse not to use them.

lebkucken · 10/04/2015 16:08

My MIL has been known to do this ( and also to clean up wee accidents with the dishcloth Shock). I now keep a clean flannel by the sink (very obviously a kid's one) and point it out if necessary.

HagOtheNorth · 10/04/2015 16:09

Oh, I know why I mentioned my mum. The generational thing. She's 80 and I'm in my 50s and most of us kept floor and food things separate, and still do.

HagOtheNorth · 10/04/2015 16:10

Perhaps the idea of a special set of flannels with jolly pictures on might help her adapt?

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 10/04/2015 16:13

My dad did this once to DS until I pointed out how gross it is...

We had those cheap flannels from Ikea (10 in a pack for a few £, last ages) and kept them in the tea towel drawer for face and hand cleaning purposes

Stealthpolarbear · 10/04/2015 16:13

what is a dog "spillage"?
please God no...

cailindana · 10/04/2015 16:22

There is a parasite in dog poo called toxocara that can scar the retina and cause blindness in children. There is a parasite in cat poo that causes toxoplasmosis, which is can be dangerous in adults (a friend of mine had to have a toxic lump removed from his neck that was caused by it) but can be deadly in children. If she is wiping dog or cat mess of any kind and then wiping it on your child's face and hands she is putting her in danger. Apart from that, if she's wiping up spillages and not washing the cloth properly that bacteria will be festering on the wet cloth and she is then wiping that around your child's mouth. She might as well grow it in a petri dish and feed it to her. I am by no means a germophobe but there are certain things that are dangerous and this is one of them.

Notso · 10/04/2015 16:25

My parents do this. No pets though and their dishcloths are very clean. It doesn't bother me particularly.

snarfungus · 10/04/2015 16:27

YANBUYUK

Momagain1 · 10/04/2015 16:33

It's not generational. My mother, in the 1960's kept seperate cleaning cloths and rags for dishes, humans, pets, floors and kitchen vs. bathroom. She learned it from her mother, who first set up housekeeping in 1938. If your mum doesnt even have that level of sanitation awareness, she and possibly her mum before her have put forth actual effort at maintaining a 'it was good enough when we were young' resistance to change.

Maybe the wasteful disposability and weird scent of wipes is an unspoken offense. Maybe get some colorful flannels just for wiping children's faces?

CoffeeTwo · 10/04/2015 16:34

My Mil does this Angry

AlwaysDancing1234 · 10/04/2015 16:35

YANBU it's just yuck!

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 10/04/2015 16:37

Ewwwwwww. I'm a total slob, but I'd draw the line some miles before that point.

As ever I advise biting your tongue and playing the "I'm just a silly paranoid little DD, but I saw this documentary about EColi/toxoplasmosis and there was this poor little baby in intensive care and it really scared me, so please, please mummy can you just humour me and use this big red flannel marked BABY!! for the baby's face. Thank you so much."

But I'm a big wuss and also my DM enjoyed the "I am humouring my DD's paranoid PFB whims" game.

TiggerLillies · 10/04/2015 16:52

Another slob here, happily let people with colds hold PFB (I've got one, can't be hypocritical) but I've seen too many Kim and Aggie to date put a dishcloth near her face. YANBU!

Dr0pThePirate · 10/04/2015 17:06

This was posted last night and I commented on it three times. There was two pages of comments where did they all go?! Confused