to want to know what to say dh -pils related

[PunkrockerGirl]

Pils are here (staying in b&b) round the corner. My Db is very poorly (as in recently diagnosed with inoperable cancer). I've posted about this recently. PILS have mentioned db once since they've been here and only then when ds2 talked about him at dinner.
Dh is normally pretty sympathetic. However tonight I was having a chuckle with ds2 and his gf . Dh has been looking at me daggers since then, goodness knows why.
He has been very understanding about db but for some reason in spite of the fact I've cooked and looked after his dp, I shouldn't be allowed to have a laugh. And it's fine for them not to talk about my db.
Apparently.
Fwiw pils are asleep in front of the telly. Dh is pretending not to be
My mum died shortly before ds2 was born.
My dad died on ds2' s 13th birthday.
I've never heard pils mention either of them

Sorry to hear about your brother. Maybe the PILs just feel awkward discussing the topic, some people are just like that.

My PILs would be the same, I really struggle to "talk" to them, everything's small talk. Despite the fact I've been in a relationship with their son for 5 yearI'm sure if you asked them where I worked or how old I was, they wouldn't know, seriously!

You're in one of those situations where the things that have happened around you are going to hurt you, and people just don't know what to say to that. They avoid it incase they say the wrong thing, but might be open to taking the lead from you if you talk about the people in your family.

I remember your other threads Punk. Your DH should have told them not to come down at this time.

Do you think your PIL's are avoiding mentioning your brother because they don't care? That your brother isn't part of their family therefore they have no need to be interested in his illness? Do they often drag you into their own dramas and expect you to be interested in their lives in general?

I think they do care, DrOp in that it affects their dc (my dh). I have had to listen to a lot of trivia about parking etc and altered train times this week.
What it would be nice to hear would be sorry to hear about db, how's sil and their dc coping etc.